 Recent Herp Discussion | | | | | | | | Online Users: 204 | | 146 members and 58 guests | | -Peter, .....Newbie....., 6254allen, 8438478395783468, Albs, Aslan, Assasiin, aussiekev.n.s.w, bat088, becspythons, ben1200, bjpres, blading, CASHO_B, channi, cjpossum, ClareB, Cordylus, cougars, CraigP, dan_s911, darkangel, Dave94, dezza09, dintony, Dipcdame, disasterpiece7.0, dogger_009, dottyback, dunno103, Dusty62, Emski, falconboy, fine_jungles, fpvmatt, funcouple, Fuscus, GARTHNFAY, Gavin, GazzaRover, Gnome73, gold&black..., gozz, grimbeny, Helikaon, Hetty, hobbo, hodges, hozy6, ihaveherps, Ishah, itbites, Jay, jenker05, JodieF, jogecko, jonesc1, joshua_hocko, juliedamian, Jungle_Freak, kab_65, Kathryn_, kazfromadelaide, Kersten, Khagan, kismetgecko, Kurto, lachie96, lauren87, Leezel73, Lewy, Lukey47, Lukey_Boy, Marto167, mat.m, mattG, mattmc, miley_take, Minke, Mr.Pagz, MrBredli, Mrs I, Mudimans, mungus, mysnakesau, MzSel, nathancl, NickSawyer, niggz, nigmax, Nikki_Elmo, Ninjaette, No-two, notechistiger, Notorious_Guf, ozzieimages, paulw6676, Peterwookie, phac, phatt01, PiggyKreffts, Poppy, racerail, Repz, Ricky_16, Rockdog, Rocky, Rossagon, ryanharvey1993, ScrubbyCam, sebbie0983, Shanno, shona, Skot_WA, snakecharma, snakehandler, snakeitup, solar 17, southy, spongebob, spoonman, ssssmithy, Stainer, Stitched, Sturdy, sullo, swaddo, tattoolizzie, TURBO8, valiantvc67, vinspa, VixenBabe, w3ap0n, Whimsey, xshadowx, zan777, _Jas_ | |  | | 
29-May-06, 04:32 PM
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Hiya I am Dan's girlfriend and i love all the posts, but i have been feeling they have been a bit serrious lately i think its time for a giggle - post your best snake jokes here - they're good for the heart.
Hey Nigel, are we venomous?
Why do you want to know?
Cause I just bit my tongue...
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29-May-06, 04:37 PM
|  | Regular Member | Join Date: Apr-06 Location: Brisbane | | | |
2 Geckos were sitting in a tank.
The 1st gecko looks to the 2nd gecko and says 'Do you know how to drive this thing?"
Thankyou, Thankyou.
I'll be here all week.
Try the veal!
__________________
I tire of fools - It's a shame stupidity isn't painful.
Back in the New York Groove |
29-May-06, 04:48 PM
|  | Mr Knee Subscriber | Join Date: Apr-06 Location: Wollongong Age/Gender: 36  | | | |
It was spring in the old west.
The cowboys rode the still snow choked trails looking for cattle that survived the winter.
As one cowboy's horse went around the narrow trail, it came upon a rattlesnake warming itself in the spring sunshine. The horse reared and the cowboy drew his six-gun to shoot the snake.
"Hold on there, partner," said the snake, "don't shoot- I'm an enchanted rattlesnake, and if you don't shoot me, I'll give you any three wishes you want."
The cowboy decided to take a chance. He knew he was safely out of the snake's striking range. He said, "OK, first, I'd like to have a face like Clark Gable, then, I'd like a build like Arnold Schwarzenegger, and finally, I'd like sexual equipment like this here horse I'm riding."
The rattlesnake said, "All right, when you get back to the bunk house you'll have all three wishes."
The cowboy turned his horse around and galloped at full speed all the way to the bunk house. He dismounted on the run and went straight inside to the mirror.
Staring back at him in the mirror was the face of Clark Gable.
He ripped the shirt off his back and revealed bulging, rippling muscles, just like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Really excited now, he tore down his jeans, looked at his crotch and shouted...
"Oh My God... I was riding the MARE!
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29-May-06, 04:51 PM
| | Mr Knee Subscriber | Join Date: Apr-06 Location: Wollongong Age/Gender: 36 | | | |
A old snake goes to see his Doctor.
"Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well these days".
The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks.
The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed.
Doc says, "What's the problem...didn't the glasses help you?"
"The glasses are fine doc, I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years!"
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29-May-06, 05:02 PM
|  | Regular Member | Join Date: Apr-06 Location: sunny gunny nsw Age: 30 | | | |
what do you get when you cross a python with an echidna
8 foot of barbed wire
goes away to shake head cant believe i repeated that
__________________
*******Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you did not do than by the ones you did. (Mark Twain)*******
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29-May-06, 05:29 PM
|  | Sponsor | Join Date: May-04 Location: Pilbara Region W.A. | | | |
Q: Whats yellow and green and eats nuts ?
A : Gonorrhoea
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29-May-06, 06:11 PM
|  | Regular Member | Join Date: Apr-06 Location: Druitt Mountain Age: 36 | | | |
A grasshopper walks up to a bar.
The barman says "Hey, you know we've got a drink named after you?"
The grasshopper replies "What? Kevin."
Sorry
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29-May-06, 06:14 PM
| | Regular Member | Join Date: Apr-06 Location: Druitt Mountain Age: 36 | | | |
A white horse trots up to a bar.
The barman says "Hey, you know we've got a drink named after you?"
The head comes off the horse and Kevin pops out and says
"How the bloody hell did you know it was me?"
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29-May-06, 06:19 PM
|  | Retired Snake Subscriber | Join Date: Aug-05 Location: Western Sydney Age/Gender: 25 | | | Quote: |
Originally Posted by Pilbarapythons Q: Whats yellow and green and eats nuts ?
A : Gonorrhoea | Q: What's blue and screws old people?
A: Hypothermia.
__________________
Rekognize: All comments are made with tongue in cheek.
In case of suspension, catch me at m_bredli@hotmail.com  |
29-May-06, 06:25 PM
| | Regular Member | Join Date: Feb-06 Age: 36 | | | |
duck walks up to a bar and asks the bartender "got any bread" bartender says nup
next day duck walks up to a bar and asks the bartender "got any bread" bartender says nup
next day duck walks up to a bar and asks the bartender "got any bread" bartender says 'ive told you we dont and if you ask again Ill hit you over the head with a shovel"
next day duck walks up to a bar and asks the bartender " got a shovel" bartender says nup
duck then asks "got any bread"
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29-May-06, 06:29 PM
|  | Regular Member | Join Date: Mar-06 Location: Darwin NT Age/Gender: 23 | | | |
Donald Rumsfeld is giving President Bush his daily briefing, while a cornsnake happily sunned itself on the lawns of the white house.
He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in an
accident'
"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"
His staff sit stunned, nervously watching this display of emotion, as the
President sits, head in hands.
Finally, the President looks up and asks:
"How many is a " Brazilian" ??"
__________________
Gordo
Damn it man, I cannot make bricks without clay!
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29-May-06, 06:38 PM
|  | Subscriber | Join Date: Nov-05 Location: sydney | | | |
Did you hear, Kiwi scientist found two new uses for sheep.....
meat and wool !!!
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29-May-06, 06:41 PM
|  | Regular Member | | | |
Love the cornsnake addition there, nice way to keep the theme going 
__________________ Wr***e "Snakes. Why'd it have to be snakes?" www.arafurae.net Coastal Carpet Lover & Lying member of the FWC |
29-May-06, 06:44 PM
| | Regular Member | Join Date: Mar-06 Location: Darwin NT Age/Gender: 23 | | |  I thought it HAD to be a snake joke :wink:
__________________
Gordo
Damn it man, I cannot make bricks without clay!
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29-May-06, 07:35 PM
|  | Subscriber | Join Date: Apr-06 Location: In A Realm Of My Own | | | Quote: |
Originally Posted by ihaveherps Did you hear, Kiwi scientist found two new uses for sheep.....
meat and wool !!! |
very nice
like this one as my girlfriend is kiwi
haha she laughed
__________________
Your pride defines your stupidity not your dignity.Belief in truth is being delusional accepting the reality is being cruel to
your conscience, fighting to bring truth and reality on the same level is called consistency, failure while performing
such task defines determination.
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