Love Thy Customer...

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Oh heres a good one - some fat old git came up to my checkout and started yelling to me about what idiots we must be since the chocolate sauce wasn't in th same isle as tomato, bbq and all the other sauces. "Its a SAUCE, isnt it!? Guess they pay you guys peanuts and thats why your all monkeys!" Then he stormed out in a huff leaving his wife to apologize and pay for his shopping lol.
 
Me: Hi
Customer: Good thanks

Me: Would you like a bag?
Customer: *ignores*
Me: *hands over item*
Customer: Can i have a bag?

And when i've had a particularly bad day full of rude/mentally defective customers....

Customer *looking at guinea pig in enclosure* What's that?
Me: It's a ham sandwich
 
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I was working in an Italian Shoe shop (manager/sales/etc.) in the valley. (Brisbane)
Friday night, 9pm and was about to end my day.

Random lady walks in... I use the term "walks" loosely.. she stumbled in my shop.
This lady didn't look right: she couldn't stand properly, her eyes were rolling to the back of her head and she smelled like hard drugs.
She was also around her mid 40 years of age, looked like she weighed 40kg and was dressed in a fur cote, skimpy top and mini skirt... in the middle of summer.

She sits down on a chair and looks at me with her eyes half shut... I asked if she was ok, but the only response I got was a mumble.
She then took out a bar of those chocolate rice bubbles, and started eating it... around now her eyes were fully shut.

I polity asked her if she could leave, but no response, didn't even open her eyes.
She then started leaning to one side of the chair, it didn't have any arm rests so she fell off and hit the ground. She didn't get back up.

I poked her with a shoe horn... she smell was horrible. After realising that the drugged up hooker was not going to leave on her own will, I decided to call paramedics.
It gets worse...

Lady over the phone said I had to put her in a position that she could breath properly... wasn't hard the lady didn't weigh much, I was more disturbed of touching her, who knows where she had been.
She then asked me to check if she was still breathing, and not that I cared, but I was super happy that she was... cause there is no way that I would of done mouth to mouth, I don't love thy customer enough.

Paramedics arrived, checked her vitals and said she was intoxicated (well duh)... did other stuff for 15 minutes and then finally took her. What a waste of human resources.
I sprayed the shop with disinfectant. I then went on home. Worst day ever.


Bad customers I can handle.... that was something else.
 
Should've taken the rest of her chocolate rice bubbles
 
We have a customer that comes in, and the smell is vile. He doesnt wash, doesnt shave, doesnt change his clothes, has a pet sheep and I SWEAR he SLEEPS with the sheep. The smell is just undescribable. The worst part it that our shop is next the automatic doors, so every time they open we get a nice gust of wind that blows his smell further around the shop. We have to Glen20 the air after he leaves.

Also, he always tries to hit on us and 'teach' us spanish.... (he knows like 3 phrases) :)
 
We have a customer that comes in, and the smell is vile. He doesnt wash, doesnt shave, doesnt change his clothes, has a pet sheep and I SWEAR he SLEEPS with the sheep. The smell is just undescribable. The worst part it that our shop is next the automatic doors, so every time they open we get a nice gust of wind that blows his smell further around the shop. We have to Glen20 the air after he leaves.

Also, he always tries to hit on us and 'teach' us spanish.... (he knows like 3 phrases) :)

Next time he comes in, spray him with glen20. That should push through the message haha
 
Completely unrelated but there is a man who looks to be in his mid 30s (?) who comes in every week without fail to buy 5 sucking cat fish. Now we've sussed him out and he's always been very polite and clearly knows about fish keeping so it's not like they die off each week. I personally think he has them in a huge bath tub and bathes with them to exfoliate his skin.
 
When I was in high school I worked in a surf shop for a while.

I had two different men, on separate days, come in looking for bikinis to fit them.

The second guy's kids looked like they would have given just about anything, to be anywhere else...
 
Working in hospitality, we have the pleasure of seeing people at their best and the pain of seeing them at their worse.

I often have troubles with people's odours. Often they aren't the drunk ones but people who sit at the pokies. I had one guy come in several times who was so bad he cleared my gaming room in record time. Hard to explain to them why they aren't allowed back in.

Problem gamblers can be the worst. One quiet sunday night a problem gambler snuck into my gaming room. She continued to stay there, in the seat for SO long that she urinated.... Clothed... Sitting in the chair.... this passed by unnoticed as she was the only one there. She then defecated herself.... Clothed....sitting in the chair..... After a bit this odour was noticed. My gaming staff came to notify me of the odour, I came around to check out the situation, she promptly threw up (because of the smell I guess) and fell off her chair. I unfortunately had to do the same medical checks pre arrival of paramedics. I then threw out the chair and put a little something extra in the cleaners pay.

Amusing ones are when you serve someone a beer, hand them their change and then they turn to say hi to someone, knock over their drink and then expect you to replace it.

Other amusing one's are when you throw out a drunk idiot. He instantly turns into the toughest guy in town, starts mouthing off and trying to push you around. Then as the police walk up behind him he turns and attempts to charge you because he wasn't doing anything.....

I also once had a guy pull a knife on me. After several warnings, all on camera, about my training I broke his wrist during a disarm of a quite large knife. He also tried to take me to court.

Trust me, enjoy your idiots.

Also, hospitality isn't all bad, we also see people at their best and having the time of their life. Its more good than bad
 
ARGH! Customers!

I work at Dick Smiths

I hate the ones that smell, and then insist on standing right next to you, or with bad breath and talk in your face.

Customers getting angry because we don't stock what they want anymore, or because I can't take $100 of a TV because it's already at cost price (we are NOT flipping Harvey Normans!!!) I'm more then willing to help get you a good deal if you are polite and go about it nicely. Don't expect me to take money off when you are rude and impatient.

Had this one customer and her husband, want to buy a TV. Got cranky because I could only take $20 off it before I'd cop a hiding for losing the company money. They then expected because they wanted another TV then, that I could do a better deal, when in fact it made it worse (second TV was $20 below cost). So after all of this, I struggle to bring these two TV's out (I'm 5ft, 45kg so there's not that much of me lol) I need manager autho to finish the sale because it's losing the company money. She's all "I have somewhere to be, can we hurry this up?!" Meanwhile, my manager is with another customer who's been waiting a fair while, and my customer goes to interrupt my manager. THEN! before the stinking woman has paid for the tvs, the husband takes them outside the shop and leaves them sitting on the path outside the store while he goes and gets the car. I get them back inside, and he comes back in, in a huff, and takes them back - while his wife STILL hasn't paid for them! This was my first customer of the day, and it just got worse from there :| lol

Or customers that hit on you or try and set you up with their sons/grandsons

Customer: Are you Mrs Dick Smith?
Me: Miss, I'm not married
Customer: (who's at least 70) Oh good! I'll tell my son!

Customer: Can you give it to me for $50? $50 and a big kiss! (customer is definition of bogan, smells like a rubbish dump and his kids are running around the shop screaming)
Me: *shudders* I don't think my boyfriend would like that too much

:\ Ahhh... Customer Service at Christmas! -.-
 
I use to work at a Safeway in East Geelong, seen many a crazy thing go on there, mostly at night. However this one occurred on a busy thursday afternoon.
A "chemically dependant" couple were arguing about the price of nappies, it would seem that their funds were limited and they had to decide whether to purchase said nappies or as the male of the couple put it "get his Sh_t".
Arguing was successful and now had led to shouting,
"Everything alright guys?"
I asked facetiously.
Male to me "F off!"
I kept walking.
They started yelling again until the male decided to end the exchange by dropping his girlfriend right there in the aisle.
They left without the nappies.
Not sure which customer was right in this instance.
 
I spent a few years working in a bikini shop. Now, it's just not fun when you have ladies getting their boobs out expecting you to help them dress. I mean, we sure do have to help them dress and fit the togs for them but i don't exactly enjoy seeing their puppies in all their glory... especially the real 'mature' ones! *cries from mental images burnt into memory*

Or during sale time in other ladies' fashion stores; signs all over shop say 'prices a marked!' And you have people repeatedly asking, 'how much is this one?' READ THE TAG, GENIUS! *brain implodes from fatal levels of surrounding stupidity*

Then at a vet clinic people would come in asking if i can just 'give them the meds (without seeing the vet)' for their dog who has a sore paw, or a watery eye, or is passing blood, or won't stop barking... NO, IDIOT, BOOK A CONSULT. Or they turn up 20 minutes late for their appointment and expect to be seen immediately, only to then get cranky when you explain that because they missed their appointed time they will have to wait for the vet to see to the people waiting who were actually on time for theirs. YOU. LADY. WITH THE YAPPY LITTLE FLUFF-THING THE IS SCARING THE CATS AND UPSETTING THE OTHER DOGS BEFORE I PROBABLY HAVE TO GET BLOOD SAMPLES FROM THEM. GET OFF YOUR PHONE AND SHUT IT UP. uuuuuuuuughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


Oooooooooooohhhhhhh i just remembered one i presume i blocked from my memory, sigh. Used to be a mobile dog washer, you know with the trailer and hybrobath and all that... There was one dog on my Tuesday run every fortnight that got me so stressed out in ancitipation of the horrors to come. We always confirmed the baths the day before so this owner always knew we were coming and half the time he just wasn't home. Now, easy enough for him to just leave the end of a powercord under the garage door so i could at least plug in to wash the dog, but he never even did that. He wife would always be home but i must have looked like some serial axe-murderer because she never answered the door for me. Then there was the dog itself, Missy a Golden Retreiver who was left all day in the dirt yard with nothing to do. She was so matted that she hated the baths because they hurt so much, i would have to muzzle her to be safe. I even went against my boss' direct instructions NOT to take clippers out there to shave off the matts (around her tail, between her legs, all along her belly, behind her ears and dwn her throat) so that they would bring her in for proper grooming. So i did it anyway one day for the sake of the dog and copped i hiding from the owner, not like he cared he never took the dog anywhere and bought it for his daughter who is terrified of dogs anyway. Besides all of that the wife would always call up the shop after i left (instead of just calling me) to complain that i hadn't actually washed the dog because she was covered in mud. Mind you, the yard was completely grass-less and convered in bare dirt, put a damp dog in there and what do you think is going to happen? Wasn't allowed to put her inside or chain her up to her kennel. More often than not my boss would just send me back to do it again knowing full well that it would just happen all over again! ARGH!

Definately do not love thy customer, poke 'em in the eye with a pointy stick instead! *stop that, annoying customer!*
 
We have a customer that comes in, and the smell is vile. He doesnt wash, doesnt shave, doesnt change his clothes, has a pet sheep and I SWEAR he SLEEPS with the sheep. The smell is just undescribable. The worst part it that our shop is next the automatic doors, so every time they open we get a nice gust of wind that blows his smell further around the shop. We have to Glen20 the air after he leaves.

Also, he always tries to hit on us and 'teach' us spanish.... (he knows like 3 phrases) :)

you do know you have the right to refuse service right? simply TELL him he isn't in a fit state to be in the store and to go wash :D

there are limits to what one has to put up with.

and to the dick smith employee, there's NO way a dick smith chain is selling ANYTHING for ONLY $20 on top, especially a high price item like a TV :p
 
and to the dick smith employee, there's NO way a dick smith chain is selling ANYTHING for ONLY $20 on top, especially a high price item like a TV :p

I have to sort of agree with that... What sort of store sells tv's at cost with only a $20 profit margin...?

I really hate when people ask you for a discount on a tiny purchase... If you're spending quite a bit of dosh i'm usually happy to take 10-15% off, but people come in demanding discounts as if it's their god given right no matter how small the purchase. One woman was buying a couple of mollies once, as i was getting them out for her she was like, oh, you'll do them for me for $3.00 right (they're 4.50 each). I was like uuuuuh no... they're 4.50. The woman loses her s#@* at me demanding that i give them to her for 3.00 each, saying that when she came here months ago she bought something and got a discount, so therefore i was legally obligated to give her a discount this time. I had to explain to her very slowly and carefully that that wasn't how it worked but she wasn't having it, then came one of the best moments that any retail employee can have...
Customer: I demand to speak to the manager
Me: *Smiling* I am the manager

Also, when in a huge tank of tetras someone wants to pick out individual fish for me to catch, i mean seriously? They are all of good stock and the same size, why does it matter. Then they get shirty when it inevitably takes me ages to net them UGH
 
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I hope I never work in retail when I grow up though I probably will in my teen years as a part time job.
We had a garage sale recently and dealing with people then was bad enough. I was selling computer games for $5 which is ridiculously cheap anyway, yet this chubby smelly kid had the nerve to ask for a half price discount or something then gave me a sour look when I said no. All he sad was "Well you just lost a customer".
Funnily he came back later asking for a discount on a $1 toy. Again, I said no and he stormed off.
Came back a third time. Before he could open his mouth I said "No."
He didnt come back.
 
I have to sort of agree with that... What sort of store sells tv's at cost with only a $20 profit margin...?
You might not believe it, but it can happen. Same with car sales (pre owned)... everyone thinks car salesmen are out to rip them off - sometimes if they really need to move a car its ok just to break even.
 
But to sell a brand new tv for $20 profit is just not worth it for the seller, it's not about ripping people off, it's about having to cover overheads etc. You'd be out of business pretty damn quickly tbh.
 
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