Classic "I Knew a Guy" Stories. share your best

[davobmx]

been a few threads before but feel like a fresh one, share your best "i know a guy" stories.
keep them short blunt and hilarious.

heres mine. had a guy post on one of my facebook pics of my carpet saying,

"awesome snake, i know a guy trying to sell a boa constrictor for $200 cause it wont eat and he wants to get an olive would you be interested? "

i had little chuckle then went to town explaining how wrong he or his friend was and that he had been servilely trolled.

 

[mcloughlin2]

Why would you think that he was being trolled? $200 for a boa is a bit cheap but if it isn't feeding that would seem about right.

 

[Flexxx]

I had a mate purposely cop a bite from my angry south west carpet for the next day off work so he could come to a comp with me, he insisted on doing it and going to hospital to ge a note, despite my efforts to convince him it was a bad idea he did it anyways and spent the next 24hrs in hospital because they didnt belive me it was a carpet, needless to say he missed the comp.

Sent from my GT-I9305 using Tapatalk 2

 

[Leasdraco]

I heard of someone who bought a supposed "boa constrictor" and when bragging about it to a mate was laughed out of the room, it was a coastal carpet with an extravagant price tag

 

[animal805]

Why would you think that he was being trolled? $200 for a boa is a bit cheap but if it isn't feeding that would seem about right.

Hello, earth to mcloughlin, hello

 

[mcloughlin2]

Hello, earth to mcloughlin, hello

Enlighten me?

Unless I've missed something completely, I think you're living in a dream world if you think Boas are not commonly traded on the black market in Australia.

 

[davobmx]

Enlighten me?

Unless I've missed something completely, I think you're living in a dream world if you think Boas are not commonly traded on the black market in Australia.

im sure they are mate, but here in WA there aint a big market for reptiles let alone exotics, if this wasnt total rubbish this guy would/should have known its value and the fact you need a CAT 5 licence to get a Olive Python which only high level and very few people carry a Cat 5 because of the troubles it brings such as quarterly inspections.

 

[Sleazy.P.Martini]

Yeh I'm kinda not getting this one either. There's pant loads here, 200 bucks isn't unreasonable

If you can get an exotic, its probably not that hard to get a native off license. Just don't see the need for the attitude. Hello, earth to manners, hello

 

[davobmx]

think people are missing the point of this thread by a mile anyway.
Stories You know are are for a fact Complete Rubbish, the "i knew a guy who had python that sized him at night in his bed" type ok.

 

[andynic07]

think people are missing the point of this thread by a mile anyway.
Stories You know are are for a fact Complete Bulshit, the "i knew a guy who had python that sized him at night in his bed" type ok.

Yeah got that point but as said unfortunately there are exotics getting around for $200

 

[davobmx]

Heard one today at a pet shop.
Some old bloke was looking at snakes and telling his son, that the snake in the enclosure wasn't healthy because.
"The snake was shedding and only unhealthy snakes being kept wrongly shed, mostly due to over heating and under feeding."
I almost fainted from his stupidity and a then had to chew my tongue to not say something.

 

[Cypher69]

I once knew a couple who had quite the collection of exotics.
They had a custom bed built on stilts with a glass enclosure beneath housing a Burmese & a couple of enclosures in the living room housing iguanas.
Apparently one day the couple had a rather violent argument & the guy called the cops, fearful of his safety...
Suffice to say,"Spousal Abuse & Exotic Reptiles Seized" made the papers the next day.

 

[Trimeresurus]

I once knew a couple who had quite the collection of exotics.
They had a custom bed built on stilts with a glass enclosure beneath housing a Burmese & a couple of enclosures in the living room housing iguanas.
Apparently one day the couple had a rather violent argument & the guy called the cops, fearful of his safety...
Suffice to say,"Spousal Abuse & Exotic Reptiles Seized" made the papers the next day.

I bet they woke up to some romantic smells in the morning keeping a burm under their bed

 

[MesseNoire]

Had some steroid-popping moron come in to work and brag that he catches lizards and feeds them to his turtle live.
Had another lady try and convince me that an Exo terra tank with the floor dimensions of about 30x30 and full of sand would be perfect for the entire life of an eastern bluie.....

 

[sd1981]

I had a guy at work who knows I keep reptiles tell me that he saw a 40 ft diamondback at his mums house in Sydney. I said diamond python, he said yep 40 ft diamond python, he reckoned it must've been at least 10 years old!!! So, to all of you diamond keepers, if your 10yo isn't 40ft, start feeding it up a bit!!!

 

[Snowman]

I know a guy who built a house on the median strip of a freeway. Worst part is you have to be doing 100kmph by the time you leave his driveway.....

 

[whyme]

I was selling a hatchie Red bellie of which I posted pics of me holding. Some bloke emailed me saying he was interested but was the snake I was holding real or fake, cause he knew they were bigger than that! After explaining to him what I could, he then asked, was it child friendly, cause he had 3 young children who wanted to handle it, and could I do them with yellow underneath, as he barracked for richmond!!!! I really did have a huge headache after dealing with this bloke!

 

[davobmx]

I was selling a hatchie Red bellie of which I posted pics of me holding. Some bloke emailed me saying he was interested but was the snake I was holding real or fake, cause he knew they were bigger than that! After explaining to him what I could, he then asked, was it child friendly, cause he had 3 young children who wanted to handle it, and could I do them with yellow underneath, as he barracked for richmond!!!! I really did have a huge headache after dealing with this bloke!

Those god damn Richmond supporters, swear there missing a few brain cells. But can you do Blue and Yellow?

 

[Umbral]

Enlighten me?

Unless I've missed something completely, I think you're living in a dream world if you think Boas are not commonly traded on the black market in Australia.

That's racist, it's the multicultural market.

 

[5potted]

Had my work colleague say her parents in Aus just bought a reticulated python... If it is true (bit of a stretch to believe), it's going to be hard to hide when it gets to full size!!!