Abusive Parents.

[Earthling]

Child Wise - ECPAT in Australia - Help & Advice - South Australia

 

[moosenoose]

Get the police involved.

Nobody should be putting up with this sort of thing....from anybody! As Earthling said, many people will never report the abuse themselves. It's a nasty psychological torture the victims of these sorts of 'crimes' seem to put themselves through by not reporting it themselves, as well as putting up with the physical abuse. Some drastic steps, some legal steps, need to be taken to nip this in the bud! Good luck

 

[redbellybite]

Get the police involved.

Nobody should be putting up with this sort of thing....from anybody! As Earthling said, many people will never report the abuse themselves. It's a nasty psychological torture the victims of these sorts of 'crimes' seem to put themselves through by not reporting it themselves, as well as putting up with the physical abuse. Some drastic steps, some legal steps, need to be taken to nip this in the bud! Good luck

I fully agree ..
As a child abused victim ..(my mother did the torture, he allowed it to happen, and got the ball rolling at times to send my mum into a frenzy ), mine was a bit more difficult as my step father was the police !!
It will stay with her ,she will get over the bruising and all the other physical injuries this is true ..but those emotional battle scars will stay deep and she will carry them to her grave ..You can forgive your parents ,for the abuse ..but you can not forget it ever ..
Get her out if you can ,speak to anyone that will listen and help ..do it fast ..

 

[cosmicwolf4]

See that's the hard part - They have to be her decisions....

Whilst I agree the decisions should be hers, I wouldn't like to know that she is being harmed and no one did anything.
Too many people stand back and do nothing, then say OMG when the child is killed.
Please, please don't be the one who stands back, she doesn't have to know it was you, just do it and be there when she needs a friend. It will be tough for her, but at least she will be safe from further harm.

 

[wranga]

please dont take this the wrong way. i do understand, being an abuse victim for all childhood, and into my adult life. what i dont understand is you girlfriend is a kindergarten teacher, so she knows about child protection services and why she dosent seek their help. i hope this all works out for your girlfriend

 

[cosmicwolf4]

please dont take this the wrong way. i do understand, being an abuse victim for all childhood, and into my adult life. what i dont understand is you girlfriend is a kindergarten teacher, so she knows about child protection services and why she dosent seek their help. i hope this all works out for your girlfriend

I think it's the mother who is the teacher, not the friend. That's how I read the post anyway :?

 

[zobo]

for her sake I hope it is not true, but there are always 3 sides to every story, the offenders, the victims, and the truth.

As stated I hope she is looked after if it is unprovoked abuse, but the questions need to be asked, what did/does she do to set her mother off? does she hit her mother? who starts the physical altercations etc. As these are the things Police need to know, as the law is a lot more complicated than people realise.

I have attended many incidents with teens/parent issues and often the teens have the usual teen attitude and make stuff up or start the actual abuse first, but this is not always the case as I have also seen some legit abuse cases and if that is what this is she needs to get out and go to Police NOW.

If she has done nothing wrong and it is legit abuse, go see Police as you have nothing to fear and they will help her.


j

 

[wranga]

I think it's the mother who is the teacher, not the friend. That's how I read the post anyway :?

thanks. i missed that till you pointed it out. that now makes it so much worse. this mother (if you can call her that) needs tobe reported before she harms anymore children

 

[wranga]

for her sake I hope it is not true, but there are always 3 sides to every story, the offenders, the victims, and the truth.

As stated I hope she is looked after if it is unprovoked abuse, but the questions need to be asked, what did/does she do to set her mother off? does she hit her mother? who starts the physical altercations etc. As these are the things Police need to know, as the law is a lot more complicated than people realise.

I have attended many incidents with teens/parent issues and often the teens have the usual teen attitude and make stuff up or start the actual abuse first, but this is not always the case as I have also seen some legit abuse cases and if that is what this is she needs to get out and go to Police NOW.

If she has done nothing wrong and it is legit abuse, go see Police as you have nothing to fear and they will help her.


j

i dont believe i just read your post.
even if it is the daughter that starts these altercations, it still dosent excuse the mother abusing the daughter in anyway. if its the daughter asaulting the mother then its the mother that needs the police help as well as seeking help for her daughter

 

[Chris1]

have you spoken to ur parents about taking her in?
a girlfriend of my brothers stayed with our family round that age fro close to a year, she started tafe, got a job and had a chance to get her life together.

i cant imagine how horrible a life like that must be, maybe she'll find the strength to uproot herself if she can stay with u.

poor girl.

 

[zobo]

i dont believe i just read your post.
even if it is the daughter that starts these altercations, it still dosent excuse the mother abusing the daughter in anyway. if its the daughter asaulting the mother then its the mother that needs the police help as well as seeking help for her daughter

that is the reality of it, and most people find it confronting,
do you expect police to take action without FULLY investigating the matter?

I stated in the post several times that if it is child abuse, go to the police and I hope she is OK, but reality is the matter needs to be investigated properly and all parties interviewed etc

Police will ask the same questions as they need to negate possible defences and prove charges, they can't just go and arrest mother with no evidence.

This is why many people don't go on with charges etc, as all this type of info will have to come out in court etc, that is the reality of the situation.

If you don't like it, ignore my advice but I was just stating a few facts and if you read my post CAREFULLY I do not take any sides, just advising on what they will face if they wish to make a complaint...


DOCS will be asking the same questions,

(PS; totally theoretical here.........if the daughter started the fights, and started belting into the mother and the mother defended herself....how is that wrong? that is legit self defense and that is why police need to ask those type of questions. It is not to make the daughter feel bad, but it is to negate possible defenses the suspect may bring up in court) (I have seen many 'large' 15 year olds who belt their parents and the parents try to protect themselves and end up with bruises etc, so it works both ways and you need to look at things objectively and don't always go with your emotions but with your common sense)

there are reasons I stated what I did, and the fact is the truth is confronting and I was just trying to give them a heads up on what may come.


j

 

[wranga]

zobo, i expect nothing from the police. but thats another story. and yes your right it would come out in court. its amazing what comes out and is proved there, again another story. but please read what was posted in the thread and if its the truth, a mother smashing her daughters face into a tiled floor isnt defending herself. i would of thought an experienced police officer like yourself would of picked up on that point. but yes this dose need to be looked into by more than one service and if that thread is fact then someone needs help quickly

 

[kirstys]

I have my cousin living with me she has been here since she was 15 we went through centrelink and got her special paents her mum was a bit the same way and her dad passed away 6 years ago now we are fighting to get the 13 year old out of there as well at 15 she does have a say on where she lives Celeste has been told since day one from social workers it's her choice where she lives I has a place called kildoman involved as the also do councling which helped I think good luck with it all it's not a good place to be stuck in the middle trying to help and feeling like you can't also speak to her school or her doctor they can also point you in the right direction

 

[Southside Morelia]

:lol::lol: I know your kidding but maybe not the best joke on this thread.....it is a sensitive one.

Let her stay with you until you get some advice from the kids line or whoever.
My girlfriend when I was your age was 15 as well and she had alcoholic parents who were abusive not physical but very abusive and physical to each other.
Once she saw how our Family lived (just a normal family environment) she wanted out. She lived with me and my Family for a month or so then moved in with my older sister and her flat mate.....happy days. As long as she still communicates with her mother by phone to tell her she is sick of the abuse and she is in a safe loving environment, hopefully the mum may understand what she has done....providing as Zobo says, that is the way events have transpired.

Good luck anyway, hope it turns out for the better for her and you. All the best!!!

the only reason i would even want kids is so i could bash them.

donks

 

[zobo]

zobo, i expect nothing from the police. but thats another story. and yes your right it would come out in court. its amazing what comes out and is proved there, again another story. but please read what was posted in the thread and if its the truth, a mother smashing her daughters face into a tiled floor isnt defending herself. i would of thought an experienced police officer like yourself would of picked up on that point. but yes this dose need to be looked into by more than one service and if that thread is fact then someone needs help quickly

LIKE I STATED BEFORE there are 3 sides to every story.

How do you know the mother actually did that? because you heard it fourth hand (chinese whispers change alot).

who knows that may have occurred because the daughter was belting mum and she tried to get her on ground and hold her down......happens to Police vs offenders all the time.

My only point is you should never make judgement on one side of a story ever! If you do you are very narrow minded.

ALL THE SIDES of the story are needed to make any judgement and that is something I don't expect a lot of simple minds to understand.

j

 

[zobo]

Also, just look at the fights on this site over things like OPMV etc and the problems that occurr when people hear 1 side of a story and it all blows out of proportion. Then when the full story comes out, many peole change their opinions.

You need all the info to make an informed decision, and if you think there is something wrong with that then that is you're problem.

Don't get me wrong, personally child abusers disgust me and I can find no worse crime than child abuse, but things need to be done properly and with a level head to get these people to court.

j

and that is all I will say on matter, as it never seems to sink in for some people.

 

[Mrs I]

What about if your parents fostered her for 12 months?

Have you spoken with your own family about these issues, im sure your parents would want to help.

 

[wranga]

LIKE I STATED BEFORE there are 3 sides to every story.

How do you know the mother actually did that? because you heard it fourth hand (chinese whispers change alot).

j

no. if you had of read my post you would of read that i said if what has been posted in the thread is the truth.

 

[Mrs I]

When i was 19 living out on my own with a child of my own, i took in a 15 yr old girl i worked with at the time.
Her father was a no show and her mother was a drug addict and she was verbally abused all the time and physically abused too.
She stayed living with me for 8 months until i had helped her save enough money to move out, i took hold of her finances to show her how to budget. And how to spend.
She moved out with all the basics required lounge fridge washing machine etc that she had purchased over the 8 months she was with me.
And a healthy bank balance for bond, and extra things that might have popped up.

If i didnt offer her to come live with me i dont know where she would have gone and how she would have turned out.

 

[Rainbow-Serpent]

Get your parents to help, as said above, overall just get her out of there.