2010 Foot In Mouth Awards

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just last week a mate asked me to feed his rabbits while he went away to go to his mum's funeral for 3 days... i said 'sure mate, you just go & have a great time'.. i hung the phone up & my girl just looked at me with a funny look... then i relized what i said... i felt so bad...lol..
 
We bought a car off a couple that were our age, and we ended up becoming good friends with them, but the first time my partner met the missus he asked her when she was due...She turned around and said, I'm not pregnant, I've just let myself go...
He was so embarrassed and didn't want too face her again for a while...
When I was a kid my pop used to come and visit us for chrissy and give us money instead of pressies...
One time he turned up when it wasn't chrissy and I whispered in his ear, but he was old and couldn't hear me, the other adults said I would need to speak louder so I yelled "Did you bring us money?"
 
Years ago when I first started working after I'd finished high school, I turned up to work & the receptionist was looking a bit tired, & baggy eyes etc. I asked her if she was crook 'cause she looked absolutely terrible. Nuh, apparently she felt fine.....

At a friend's place a few months ago, we had been listening to the radio & chatting away. Coldplay came on & I gave it an enthusiastic expletive riddled spray (I can't stand Coldplay) going on about how crap Coldplay are & how boring & lifeless their music is etc etc. Turned out our friend had just put on her new fave CD that she's been lovin'. I thought it was still the radio, would have kept my trap shut if I knew it was her CD
 
I was in the ladies toilets not so long ago with my young son, when a women decided that I was a man (I'm not but had recently decided to cut my own hair after a few vodkas), so anyway, the lady told me I shouldn't be in the toilets, I explained that it was ok, I wasn't a man, I just have an interesting hair cut :) So instead of an apology the lady turned her embarrassment to anger and started screaming and swearing at me that I was a freak. My son was in the toilet the whole time and I was really worried that he was scared but after she left screaming for security that there was a man in the ladies toilets my boy came out with a huge smile on his face and said 'told you, you shouldn't of cut your hair' :)
 
I was on the front desk at work last week and one of the air con guys (?) walked in and asked where the bathroom was so I pointed him (?) in the direction of the mens bathrooms only to realise as they walked away that it was a girl...

My bad :oops:
 
years ago i when i was a teenager i was at the shops with my mum. she gave me a $10 note and told me to get a loaf of bread. I went straight to bakers delight and waited in line. being a teenager and seeing quite a pretty youg girl behind the counter my mind wandered. when i got to the front of the line I asked for a loaf of breast.
 
years ago i when i was a teenager i was at the shops with my mum. she gave me a $10 note and told me to get a loaf of bread. I went straight to bakers delight and waited in line. being a teenager and seeing quite a pretty youg girl behind the counter my mind wandered. when i got to the front of the line I asked for a loaf of breast.

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

That's hilarious!
 
I think I'd be eligable a few times! I'll post when the next one occurs. I.E tomorrow morning
 
I was teaching at a local primary school in a 6/7 class and one of the kids took his shoes off. I looked at his toes and they were webbed! I said 'What the (blank) is wrong with your feet?!'

I never got a call back to that school.
 
i was teaching at a local primary school in a 6/7 class and one of the kids took his shoes off. I looked at his toes and they were webbed! I said 'what the (blank) is wrong with your feet?!'

i never got a call back to that school.

hahahahhaa that's the only one that really made me laugh!! Xd
 
oh and another one, also years ago. it was Christmas dinner and everyone had just enjoyed their main meal. we were just having a chat and a sit before dinner and my dad turns to my girlfriend at that time and says. Hey Sheree, do you eat pussy? I mean pudding!!! needless to say everyone cracked up and my girlfriend and dad both went a bit red.
 
oh and another one, also years ago. it was Christmas dinner and everyone had just enjoyed their main meal. we were just having a chat and a sit before dinner and my dad turns to my girlfriend at that time and says. Hey Sheree, do you eat pussy? I mean pudding!!! needless to say everyone cracked up and my girlfriend and dad both went a bit red.
PMSL, I bet he'd had a few and was thinking that....hilarious!!!! Dirty old dad... lol
 
I was teaching at a local primary school in a 6/7 class and one of the kids took his shoes off. I looked at his toes and they were webbed! I said 'What the (blank) is wrong with your feet?!'

I never got a call back to that school.

You wouldn't think that could happen so far away from tassy.. Must be a really small town.

PMSL!
 
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