Convincing a parent who will not allow a pet snake due to fear and prejudgement?

[Red-Ink]

The wife's fine with it mate we got plenty of "kids" and the best bit is they don't talk back and i can leave them locked in all day and no one complains.. most don't even have hands (or legs for that matter) to destroy stuff... those are the ones that people don't want to babysit lol.

 

[Defective]

i am sorry and no disrespect to those who do like that but i HATE them, you might call it an irrational fear, you might call me other names but NO amount of education, seeing video's, having things stuffed down my throat will change the way i feel

i dont care if this person is 24 saying 'ill have a snake and i dont care about my mothers fear of them' IS carrying on like a disrespectful child and having other adults telling them to go out and buy one and stuff his mothers feelings is encouraging disrespect and it will NOT win them any points with a parent *facepalm* the kid is not 24 I AM!!!! an i'll have you know i treat my mother with absolute respect so don't go calling me a child when you yourself are acting like one. and i have damn good reasons why i can't leave home!!!

you know WE ARE allowed to dislike snakes as much as some of you are allowed to like them and i wont knock anyone for that but i do know how his mother feels

your all dismissing his mother and her feelings as if they dont matter based on your own acceptance of snakes

http://www.aussiepythons.com/forum/member/snakeluvver-25864/snakeluvver simple answer to your question? NO being a member here has NOT changed my mind, i avoid the snake section though i have sometimes glanced at pictures and ill be the first to admit some of them are gorgeous colours but it has NOT changed my views on them in general...........i really dislike them and you will NEVER change that fear and i have NO desire to even so much as touch one even if my own life depended on it, telling me snakes are cool wont work they can and DO kill people and no amount of education will change that view, my son had a carpet python and the entire time it was under my roof i did NOT change my views on them we get YOU DONT LIKE SNAKES but there's no need to go hitler on those of us trying to help solve the OP conundrum

if this person wants snakes then they should save up, move out, pay their own bills then they can do whatever the hell they want, have as many snakes as they want without having to answer to anyone but themselves and maybe their landlords, you also have to remember landlords might NOT allow 'pets' of any kind including reptiles and that is a landlords right as well, what will they do if a landlord says 'no'? to hell with it and do what they want anyway? they have two choices accept their mothers rules or move out

fears are usually based on some irrational thought process but they are OUR fears like it or not and we ARE allowed to have them without being ridiculed or having our fears dismissed as unimportant and being told to 'get over it, ill do whatever the hell i want' definitely think you have a phobia!

we will have to agree to disagree on this, keep telling this person they can do what they want and disrespect their mother, i wont come back

your perogative on that one but don't keep giving the poor bloke such a hard time and calling me a disrespectful child when i'm capable of providing all the needs for a snake and my mother doesn't have to set eyes on it!!!

 

[kawasakirider]

I'd bet a grand that the majority of children that ask for mammals as pets get knocked back the first few times, also. Nothing wrong with trying to pursuade someone, there's nothing disrespectful about it, if it is done the right way. My mother didn't want me taking up motocross when I was younger. Some mothers don't want their sons playing football. Some mothers expect their children to take no for an answer and never question anything ever again.

When you're an adult and you want something, desire is strong. When you're a kid and you want something, being told "no" is the most devastating thing that can happen, especially if there's no decent explanation. It's only natural for his desire for a snake to become stronger and there's nothing wrong with asking for one if he isn't cornering his mother and abusing her.

Nazi mums on reptile forums ftmfl.

 

[user 16324]

dont know if it has been said but take her somewhere she can safely be introduced into different kinds of snakes and even handle them. after that should be easier!

 

[kawasakirider]

Trap her in a locked room with a savage animal, and then a locked room with the type of python you want to keep. Always works for me.

 

[thedee]

From my perspective (I'm in my 20s and also living at home for the time being), both sides of the equation are valid.

By all means, try to convince your mother to allow you to have a snake. Educate her, take her to a pet shop or breeder if she's willing to go, buy a couple of books on keeping pythons. Mike Swan's "Keeping and Breeding Australian Pythons" is a fantastic book, for example. Don't overload her with information or continually harp at the subject, but let her know that it's important to you and you're committed to responsible snake ownership.

However, you also have to respect her right to live in an environment where she is comfortable and feels safe, both physically and emotionally. It's not an ideal environment for her if she has a genuine phobia of snakes and a child who's trying to convince her to have one.

That said, you may be able to come to some form of compromise - she may be willing to allow you to have a snake as long as you keep it in your room and don't feed it and/or take it out of its enclosure while she's present.

 

[Bluetongue1]

Let’s cut to the chase...

Firstly, you will NOT CONVINCE a woman, especially your mum, to do something she does not want to. So you can throw that notion out the window. She has to want to do it first and that’s your task!

You say you have been trying for three months. What does that mean? If you have been nagging your mum for three months, then you’ve been pushing your barrow backwards. Good parenting would dictate the appropriate response to “I want! I want! I want!” is a good kick up the bum, a resounding “NO!” and a strengthening of resolve.

At the same time, good parenting recognises and rewards positive behaviours. There are no guarantees but you need to work hard at deserving a snake – whatever that takes.

You can also work on helping your mum over her fear of snakes, at least to some degree. There’s plenty of good advice already posted. Just need to ignore the flame throwers, the anarchists and the would-be comics.
Blue

 

[Indysmum]

Hope I didnt start this whole arguement, I thought the person started thread asking for advice had later said they were 24. My advice to a teenager or younger kids obviously wouldnt be the same for an adult asking same question.
Wheather 4,14, 24, 94..I wouldnt recommend getting a pet without those you live with agreeing. Just imagine grampa smuggling snakes into the nursing home >.<.
As much as we love our pets, not everyone shares our passion and they dont have to! Ive already advised to be respectful and understanding but apparently that was too 'nazi' for some lol So hey, try throw a tantrum...see how that works (and yes Im joking, dont do that!)
Sometimes 'NO!" is heard as 'ask me 1000 more times', Im sure you can imagine how annoying that would become >.<. It sounds like your dad gave you a reason, might not be reasons you agree with...but its actually a good start! Now there is actually a dialogue atleast, it beats just a 'NO!".
Keep in mind however, they may never change their mind about keeping a snake. BUT do not panic, this just means not NOW, not NEVER. Even if you have to wait until you have your own place.
Most importantly!!! How in hell did this thread get 6 pages!!! lol

 

[Defective]

That said, you may be able to come to some form of compromise - she may be willing to allow you to have a snake as long as you keep it in your room and don't feed it and/or take it out of its enclosure while she's present.

this is how im going to be allowed to have a snake, it stays in my room, and is never brought out will mum and my sister are home, unless im in my room with the door closed.

 

[syeph8]

this is how im going to be allowed to have a snake, it stays in my room, and is never brought out will mum and my sister are home, unless im in my room with the door closed.

I have a massive fear of spiders that would put most peoples fears to shame but I would still allow my child to keep a pet spider/scorpion under these conditions. Just because I am afraid of something doesn't mean that my child shouldn't be allowed to learn about them and enjoy them and learn some responsibility whilst caring for them. I would definitely be nervous at first and rules would be put in place.. very strict rules. But being a parent is about nurturing your childrens interests and growth with boundaries to keep THEM feeling secure.. Not to crush their interests and create boundaries to avoid personal growth and facing things that you just don't want to. Just putting my opinion out there

 

[Defective]

i would only buy my kid a snake if they could prove to me that they can look after it and that they will be solely responsible. if my kid at 10yrs old said to me 'mum, can i have a snake please?' i would say 'yes you can but prove to me first you know how to look after it.' if they were that passionate then they would save money and be able to buy the snake themselves (just the snake). im a firm believer that if a child wants something they have to buy it themselves as they'll appreciate it more. christmas and birthday presents would be helping provide a safe environment and because i would have owned a snake myself (not yet but am getting one) i would know its needs.

i would never want to crush my kids interests, they wanna play soccer but then find they don't like it, i'll let them quit (martial arts is an exception...its for life; how you live and how you treat others is learnt through martial arts.) this might be a weird parenting style but ohh well. i cant have kids so the rest of the world need fear.

 

[elogov]

Eh i just brought mine home had it sitting in my room for 2 days before she found the AAE package that said "HARMLESS REPTILE", i don't recommend this but i wasn't getting far with my parents either haha.

 

[hrafna]

prove to your parents that this won't be a passing phase. do your research and show your knowledge. at the end of the day if mum says no, then answer is no! it won't hurt you having to wait til you move out to get one.

 

[ToadCountry]

Jeannine....why the enormously stressful (for you) unprovoked comments to someone you don't even know?
Not putting my hand up anytime soon for you to be my mum !! ((I"m 46 by the way))

You sound like a very angry woman. Why tell the world about your anger?

Most of us hop on here to chill out, smile at others stories, look at some pics of beautiful snakes, marvel at others set-ups, get advice, give advice where we can, and to above all, LEARN from each other - we all have something to share within this wonderful hobby.

IF YOU ARE THAT FREAKED by snakes, please PLEASE p.l.e.a.s.e. do the rest of us a favour and stay away from this part of the forum.

I personally dislike the way you conduct yourself, and your attitude towards "children" - I know the written word can be harsh, however you sound like a complete fruit loop - what sort of a mother would throw her kid out over a snake?
Us parents are the "caretakers" of our kids only for a little while - why can't they have their own ideas, and interests?

I hope your kids are well adjusted and happy in their lives, despite the views you have.
I would feel like I was a disgrace to my kids if I said the things you have said. Terrible Stuff.

And to the OP - get your mum to read this topic you started LOL.....will be the best education anyone could want.

 

[mje772003]

Hope this helps 10 Reasons To Get A Pet Snake Heat-Pits: Pet Reptile Breeder

 

[shellfisch]

Hope this helps 10 Reasons To Get A Pet Snake Heat-Pits: Pet Reptile Breeder

I like it

 

[mje772003]

yea before i joined this site i found it when doing some research

 

[Childrens]

Pay for EVERYTHING yourself, we had a family rule - when you turn 8 you will be bought a pet (which ended up being 11 for myself as the right pet was not found until then). I was told at 12 when I had been researching, saving and taken a few classes on handling reptiles etc. That I could get it, so off the the nearest breeder. As soon as I received the licence, we got it. One of my younger brothers is now 14, he wanted some lizards. The same rule has applied and he has his lizards. If your parents are not out of pocket for it, and you have shown enough interest to save up the few hundred dollars, and persist to save and not spend it on other short time interests and you will get there. My Mum still hates the fact I own snakes, still wont touch them (even after living with them for 4 years) but I got them.

 

[Mighty_Moose]

Anyone else notice that the OP hasn't commented since page 2? I guess this has gone from help to lets blast 5 pages of opinions.

 

[ToadCountry]

LOL.....Yes MM !!.....somewhere out there is a young person who wants to get a snake.
Lets hope they fulfill the dream. Cos we have all been there.