kawasakirider
Very Well-Known Member
My nephews old man owns a pest control business. He said to his dad "Don't you dare kill anymore of Gods creatures" HAHA.
Random things kids say
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This is not so much funny, but cute because of the enthusiasm. When my 10-year-old brother saw Zephyr for the first time, he said, "OOOOOOH, COOOOoooooLLLLL!"
When he was two or three years younger, there was a time I hadn't seen him for a while. I exclaimed, "Wow, you've grown!" and, ever the obsessive measurement freak, asked him, "How tall are you?"
He gave me the most perplexed look, held his hands up to the top of his head and said, "This tall."
Kid 1, adult 0.
When he was two or three years younger, there was a time I hadn't seen him for a while. I exclaimed, "Wow, you've grown!" and, ever the obsessive measurement freak, asked him, "How tall are you?"
He gave me the most perplexed look, held his hands up to the top of his head and said, "This tall."
Kid 1, adult 0.
dangles
Well-Known Member
had my young bloke at the hospital for an asthma attack. After being discharged at 6am i woke him to tell him we could leave. As i was waking him another patient has been wheeled into a bed over from us with a police escort. I asked my young bloke to get up so we could go home and got the reply "I dont want to go home because Riley(his brother) and Mum bash me". The look from the coppers was priceless. As we very rarely deal physical punishment to our kids i was gobsmacked
jacks-pythons
Active Member
my 13yr old brother sent me a taxt the other day that said. "if you need help to build an ark to save 2 of every animal, i noah a guy". thought that was hillarious
Defective
~ Yoda (2008-2020), you loved me more than life!!
for my 13yr old bro its not what he said its more the facial expressions. we were watching Rocky Horror on good friday and for those that have seen it, my bro was making the most disturbing facial expressions at the point where frank-n-furter (tim curry) starts to sing 'just a sweet transvestite' and is wearing a corset and stocking holder things
Southern_Forest_Drag
Well-Known Member
Took my 5 or 6 year old cousin to the footy last season to watch collingwood vs the western bulldogs (speaking of which i hope we win this week!!!)
his dad (my cousin) wears this collingwood jumper every now and again and i call him a toothless feral or a toothless scum, didn't think my little cousin (2nd technically) heard or took notice, anyway was at the game and there was a few loud collingwood drunks my cousin screamed look aidan theres some toothless ferals, was a little embarassed at first but the guys were tools so i ended up with a pretty big smirk on my face especially when we won.
his dad (my cousin) wears this collingwood jumper every now and again and i call him a toothless feral or a toothless scum, didn't think my little cousin (2nd technically) heard or took notice, anyway was at the game and there was a few loud collingwood drunks my cousin screamed look aidan theres some toothless ferals, was a little embarassed at first but the guys were tools so i ended up with a pretty big smirk on my face especially when we won.
babba007
Well-Known Member
My husband was explaining to our son (4 at the time) that he used to live in South Africa when he was a boy. Son piped up "Daddy, did you used to be black?!"
Black.Rabbit
Well-Known Member
My 5 year old just came out with one today....
Exiting the lift at his pre-school, there was another mum waiting to enter the lift.. she would have been about 6'2" at least, when she was in the lift my son turned around and said to her "Sh$t, you're tall!"
no prizes for guessing whose kid isn't getting invited to her child's b'day party... lol
I should add... my child hardly ever swears... and he scored a stern talking to in the car for that one...
Exiting the lift at his pre-school, there was another mum waiting to enter the lift.. she would have been about 6'2" at least, when she was in the lift my son turned around and said to her "Sh$t, you're tall!"
no prizes for guessing whose kid isn't getting invited to her child's b'day party... lol
I should add... my child hardly ever swears... and he scored a stern talking to in the car for that one...
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colubridking
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girl: hey do you remember me?
friend: ahhhh, no cant say i do!
girl: really? i never forgot you
friend: why? what we do? go out have a good night and go out or something? (we both laugh as we both thought nothing of it)
girl: well yea actually we did, we went out for 3 months.
friend: ooohhhhh
me: thats a bit awkward!
friend: ahhhh, no cant say i do!
girl: really? i never forgot you
friend: why? what we do? go out have a good night and go out or something? (we both laugh as we both thought nothing of it)
girl: well yea actually we did, we went out for 3 months.
friend: ooohhhhh
me: thats a bit awkward!
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lordsword49
New Member
These are two from me when I was younger
First One
My mum, sister & I were in the pool and my mum was like I need to get out im turning wrinkly and I replied But mum you were already wrinkly when you got in
Second One
My parents were cleaning the house and were saying to go outside and play because they were busy. So being the nice and helpful son I am I decided to help them, I turned the front hose on and chucked in underneath the front door, the front door lead into the computer and tv room. I can't remember my parents being angrier at me as much as they were then
First One
My mum, sister & I were in the pool and my mum was like I need to get out im turning wrinkly and I replied But mum you were already wrinkly when you got in
Second One
My parents were cleaning the house and were saying to go outside and play because they were busy. So being the nice and helpful son I am I decided to help them, I turned the front hose on and chucked in underneath the front door, the front door lead into the computer and tv room. I can't remember my parents being angrier at me as much as they were then
L
LizardLady
Guest
CrystalMoon
Reptile Lover
Daughter when she was just 3, came inside with the most horrid look on her face... I asked her what was wrong? Breanna replied "I dont luv magnets, they are disgusting" I was puzzled and said "but they are sooo much fun to play with? you should try and have some fun with them" she promptly burst into tears shaking
her little blond head saying eeewwww no Mummy nooooooo after calming her down a bit I got her to show me the "magnets" she led me out to the paddock where
there was a deceased animal that had ..... Maggots LOL she still at 7 slips up and calls Maggots Magnets LOL
her little blond head saying eeewwww no Mummy nooooooo after calming her down a bit I got her to show me the "magnets" she led me out to the paddock where
there was a deceased animal that had ..... Maggots LOL she still at 7 slips up and calls Maggots Magnets LOL
vampstorso
Very Well-Known Member
I used to baby sit three boys when I was younger,
and so Mum and I often visited their parents since we were all friends,
The oldest one, Taite, was about 6...
So we were all talking, and Taite was old enough to get his own drinks etc, and he asked his mum if he could poor a cup of cordial, and so of course she said yes.
Awhile later, and a fair few cups of cordial later...Taite was literally looking like he was gonna die!
He said he felt really sick so I put him to bed, and said I'd be back soon to check on him.
Then his Mum went to get some RED WINE from the fridge and it was empty...
the poor kid had drunk 5 large glasses of WINE thinking it was cordial :|
Needless to say we took him to hospital!
and so Mum and I often visited their parents since we were all friends,
The oldest one, Taite, was about 6...
So we were all talking, and Taite was old enough to get his own drinks etc, and he asked his mum if he could poor a cup of cordial, and so of course she said yes.
Awhile later, and a fair few cups of cordial later...Taite was literally looking like he was gonna die!
He said he felt really sick so I put him to bed, and said I'd be back soon to check on him.
Then his Mum went to get some RED WINE from the fridge and it was empty...
the poor kid had drunk 5 large glasses of WINE thinking it was cordial :|
Needless to say we took him to hospital!
cement
Very Well-Known Member
Having kids can be a barrell of laughs.
At a roadside truckstop while travelling I walked in with my youngen and he turns and points and loudly says "hey check out the pretend army men!" that were standing in front of us!
me and some mates were having a beer out the back of his house, when some little girl probably about 4, in a pretty dress and nicely done curly blonde hair came out and stood with us. Don't know who she was but my mates dad asked her how she was and she replies in a cute voice with a lisp "why do tampons have string?". We sort of looked at each other, no-one knowing what to say, someone went "did she?" and paused, and she blurts out "so the crabs can bungy jump!" and with that out she skipped off down the path back into the house! Needless to say we were all shattered and absolutely rolling on the ground crying with laughter.
At a roadside truckstop while travelling I walked in with my youngen and he turns and points and loudly says "hey check out the pretend army men!" that were standing in front of us!
me and some mates were having a beer out the back of his house, when some little girl probably about 4, in a pretty dress and nicely done curly blonde hair came out and stood with us. Don't know who she was but my mates dad asked her how she was and she replies in a cute voice with a lisp "why do tampons have string?". We sort of looked at each other, no-one knowing what to say, someone went "did she?" and paused, and she blurts out "so the crabs can bungy jump!" and with that out she skipped off down the path back into the house! Needless to say we were all shattered and absolutely rolling on the ground crying with laughter.
Defective
~ Yoda (2008-2020), you loved me more than life!!
gotta remember that one cement!!!! smart kid.
cement
Very Well-Known Member
It happened probably 16-17 yrs ago... I will never forget it!
dreamkiller
Active Member
my 5 year old son was asking about where he and his brother came from (he was an emergency c-section) after the talk he turned around to his 12 year brother and said " ha ha Tye mummy laid you like a snake egg, but i got to come out of her belly, ha ha " :shock: it was so funny!!
vampstorso
Very Well-Known Member
anyone who meets my Nana (mums mum) is told this story...
When I was 4, my Poppa passed away (Dads Dad), whom I was extremely close too.
my Mums parents comforted me in saying if I look up at the night sky, the brightest star I can see is Poppa watching over me.
So one night I was sitting in their backyard with my cousin and told her "Look, there's Poppa"
...at this time her dog Axel had just passed away, so she said "Can Axel go to your Poppas star too?"
to which (and I do remember this) I replied:
"Get your own bloody star!"
I was clearly an empathetic child!
When I was 4, my Poppa passed away (Dads Dad), whom I was extremely close too.
my Mums parents comforted me in saying if I look up at the night sky, the brightest star I can see is Poppa watching over me.
So one night I was sitting in their backyard with my cousin and told her "Look, there's Poppa"
...at this time her dog Axel had just passed away, so she said "Can Axel go to your Poppas star too?"
to which (and I do remember this) I replied:
"Get your own bloody star!"
I was clearly an empathetic child!
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