need a shoulder to cry on :( and some help from other Mums and Dads...

[GeckPhotographer]

As a younger kid I had pet Antechinus (lifespan 1 yr) and I live in the bush where there is plenty of death. I had much more difficulty understanding the concept of heaven than I did the concept that something was turning into dirt. This was to me because dirt was something tangible and the idea of something big and solid breaking up and getting smaller until it was eventually dirt made sense, the idea of heaven was something I could not in anyway actually contact and the mystery behind that made it incomprehensible. I am not religious at all now by the way but was raised Catholic. The explanation a child can best understand is the one that works out best whatever that is in the particular case.

 

[Sezzzzzzzzz]

Sad your childs lost a pet, Next snake is?

HMMMM, Thanks for making me smile!~I'm saving for a darwin. lol

I am devastated. This is the third time I have lost a much loved furry child. The frst time I actually saw one die in front me.

 

[Squinty]

Did the vet explain why the young cat had such a serious problem??We had our beloved 2 year old cat become very ill and tool her to the vet. She had acute renal kidney failure. We sourced the problem to Lilly flowers a friend had given us. Lillies are toxic to cats. This was only a year ago. I'm sorry to hear of your loss. We found getting another cat helped heaps.

 

[Sezzzzzzzzz]

She did suggest lillies, but i have no indoor plants, noone has given me flowers and the cat had never been outside in its life. She said some cats are just born with (something with a really long name), she was telling me this as I was bawling my eyes out so i had sort of phased out a bit by then, but essentially it shows itself sometimes years later.

We went straight out and got a kitten. Hubby is very much a softy when it comes to his baby girl and he thought she shouldnt go home to no cat. So we now have a 9 week old kitten who"s quite cute, but very shy still.

 

[Squinty]

We ended up getting an 18 month old boy that is huge from the vets. All the girls there cried when we took him home. Hes a bit of a womanizer. Won't leave my mrs alone. Lol

 

[Sezzzzzzzzz]

Hahaha! Ive always wanted a big cat. I always seem to end up with the mix breed that seems to have Siamese in it lol!

I hope this boy is half the cat that Miaow was.

 

[vampstorso]

I've just gotta say...there's something unexplainably affectionate about tortoise-shell burmeses'. I've had a few, and no cats have been the same as them!


I hope things start to brighten up for you all soon,

just make sure you don't tell your daughter anything too...'out there'...to calm her. Otherwise I can picture this poor little girl going to school and repeating what you said about the cat, and some smarta_s kid saying "THATS NOT WHAT HAPPENS!" and crushing her!

Hope the new cat works out for you all! gotta love new animals!

 

[Tassie97]

I am sorry for all your losses It makes you more grateful for my family, friends and petsRIP

 

[Rox.n.Lix]

Sorry to hear. Its hard to explain it to children, but repetition helps. I mean, every time they ask, just explain it again in the same way.
My only experience is from last year when my dad was ill with cancer, and having to explain it to his 4 year old god son who he was very close to. His god son was born very prematurely and has chronic respiratory disease and lots of other illnesses that had him in hospital often, which meant we had to be very careful about saying that dad was just 'poorly' or sick etc because we didnt want Zebedee to think that everyone who was poorly would die.
Its also wise to think about the language/euphemisms you use (like 'sleeping' or 'had to go to sleep'). You dont want your child to think that going to sleep means never coming back. Hope this isnt too negative, but just things that some people dont consider sometimes. I know Zeb's mum had a good kid's book where a family cat died, and she read that to him a lot before my dad passed. The book is a good way to go.
Good luck, and again, sorry about your kitty.

 

[gosia]

I am so sorry to hear that. We have 3 cats and I would hate to think what would happen to us if one of them had to go!!!! I guess you never become a cat person untill u own one!!! Saddly 4 years ago one of our cas got hit by a car and I hate to say it but the only thing that fixed our tears was another kitten!!! We never forgot but pain was eased!!! :-(

 

[Sezzzzzzzzz]

I am so sorry to hear that. We have 3 cats and I would hate to think what would happen to us if one of them had to go!!!! I guess you never become a cat person untill u own one!!! Saddly 4 years ago one of our cas got hit by a car and I hate to say it but the only thing that fixed our tears was another kitten!!! We never forgot but pain was eased!!! :-(

You are right there. Last night Hubby and I were watching the new kitten play, and remembering all the funny things Miaow Did at that age.. While it made us smile it also made me feel quite sad.

Sorry to hear. Its hard to explain it to children, but repetition helps. I mean, every time they ask, just explain it again in the same way.
My only experience is from last year when my dad was ill with cancer, and having to explain it to his 4 year old god son who he was very close to. His god son was born very prematurely and has chronic respiratory disease and lots of other illnesses that had him in hospital often, which meant we had to be very careful about saying that dad was just 'poorly' or sick etc because we didnt want Zebedee to think that everyone who was poorly would die.
Its also wise to think about the language/euphemisms you use (like 'sleeping' or 'had to go to sleep'). You dont want your child to think that going to sleep means never coming back. Hope this isnt too negative, but just things that some people dont consider sometimes. I know Zeb's mum had a good kid's book where a family cat died, and she read that to him a lot before my dad passed. The book is a good way to go.
Good luck, and again, sorry about your kitty.

Thats a good point. One that I raised with Hubby last night as he had told her Miaow had to live at the vets from now on, which I explained to him would mean that she would expect to see her every time at the vets....

I've just gotta say...there's something unexplainably affectionate about tortoise-shell burmeses'. I've had a few, and no cats have been the same as them!


I hope things start to brighten up for you all soon,

just make sure you don't tell your daughter anything too...'out there'...to calm her. Otherwise I can picture this poor little girl going to school and repeating what you said about the cat, and some smarta_s kid saying "THATS NOT WHAT HAPPENS!" and crushing her!

Hope the new cat works out for you all! gotta love new animals!

Yeah I had to tell her straight out that Miaow was dead and never going to come back, she was now in heaven with Sammy (grandies dog). Lucky for me it seems hubbys parents took it upon themselves to explain death a little when they had sammy put down as Matilda said to me this morning, "Mummy I want my big Miaow" adn I said "honey she is dead, she snt come back." She replied "Miaow up in the sky with Sammy". I think she'll be fine lol.


Thank You all for your kind words. xxx

 

[Chris1]

sorry to hear,...

did the cat have access to anything frlom the lily family? theyre toxic to cats and result in kidney failure,..just soemthign to keep in mind for the new kitten,...

 

[Sezzzzzzzzz]

Thanks Chris, no the only lillies in the house are the two tattooed on me. LOL. The vet had asked that, but I cant even keep a mother-in-laws tongue plant alive! and she was an indoor cat (as will the new one), as I hate what they have the capability of doing to our wildlife.

 

[lisa5]

So sorry to hear of your loss. Hard to explain to little ones, but it sounds like with your gentle explanations your daughter is coping okay.

 

[Defective]

i was 2 when my cat was hit by a car outside our house, my dad being the insensitive soul he is told me 'rhiannon, garp was hit by a car and won't be with us anymore' for years, TS Garp was my 'imaginary friend' but i wasn't harmed or damaged by how i was told, your daughter is young, she'll be fine, it will be sad now but if she starts talking to miaow let her go it can be healthy. kids see things adults don't....just a different perspective

 

[Sezzzzzzzzz]

Lambert it comforts me no end to hear you say that. Thank you so much.

Lisa thank you too. I thought I hadnt been gentle enough.

She wants to name the new vat Miaow as well, but neither hubby or I think thats a great idea, so we are calling it Pussy puss (thats what she calls it at times and eventually thats what all cats come to anyway) and hubbty and I are calling it Henry!

 

[Defective]

there's only so much we can protect kids from. death is something you can't, it can't be prevented so we can't protect them. it's on the news and it's in families. kids are more resilent than teens and adults, they bounce back from trumatic hospital stays faster, acute and chronic illness faster and tramatic stages in life (even if they are trivial to us) faster. just hug her and let her talk about miaow, it's her way of coping with him not being there anymore.

 

[Sezzzzzzzzz]

So you think letting her call the new cat Miaow is a good idea then? I just thought it might help her realise that this guy is a whole different cat if we called him something else?

I feel sometimes that I am a bit jaded in regards to death. My dad dies when I was 7, and that was awful. But since I met my husband 7 years ago, we have lost at least 2 people a year (all in bike accidents and 1 murder) and even though I am a very emotional person, I find it gets easier every time to say goodbye to people. I was suprised how much this cat has gotten to me.

 

[Snakewoman]

I feel sometimes that I am a bit jaded in regards to death. My dad dies when I was 7, and that was awful. But since I met my husband 7 years ago, we have lost at least 2 people a year (all in bike accidents and 1 murder) and even though I am a very emotional person, I find it gets easier every time to say goodbye to people. I was suprised how much this cat has gotten to me.

I'm glad I'm not the only one. There have been 20 people I knew die in the last 5 years, but it doesn't seem to hurt me as much as when a pet dies. Maybe both of us have got used to being hurt by people dying but haven't had as many pet deaths so we allow ourselves to get emotionally closer to the animals?

 

[Sezzzzzzzzz]

I think you might be right Tahlia! and this is the first time I have actually watched a pet die....