Dad Jokes

[emmalene_bunny]

So my dad is always amazing me with these really ridiculous dad jokes, all of the time. Luckily I haven't lived at home since I was 13 and have been able to have bare minimum of these jokes. So when I first got my little children's python my god they started poring out of him because he doesn't like snakes.
First started when I was making dinner, and he suggested that I fry up my little one with my sir fry :shock: most recently I got sunburnt and have started peeling, he said I should move into an enclosure to help me shed:|
Any one else have to deal with dads who think they are funny? Or any dads on here have any lines that are funny (to you)

 

[sharky]

Nope, my dad is 100% awesome! He loves the snakes too much to joke about them ,lol

 

[emmalene_bunny]

Lucky, my dad has come up with various speeches about how I could sauté him, spit roast him on a stick with a cherry in his mouth:shock: I'm the only one with a crazy dad wanting me to cook my snake, fantastic!

 

[Grogshla]

My mum hates them, she only thinks I have 2 snakes haha.
Dad doesn't doesn't like them either.
It would get me cut if my parents said stuff like that but I guess it his way of being funny.

 

[nintendont]

my dad thinks coastals are boring cos they just sit there during the day so asks me if he can stick his hand in front of it. Was due for a feed and I tell him he will probably get bit, but he chooses to do it anyway...I guess he didnt expect the coiling that accompanies a full-on feed response. wish I recorded it...was entertaining

 

[emmalene_bunny]

My mum hates them, she only thinks I have 2 snakes haha.
Dad doesn't doesn't like them either.
It would get me cut if my parents said stuff like that but I guess it his way of being funny.

Why can't they all just love them the way we do!!

my dad thinks coastals are boring cos they just sit there during the day so asks me if he can stick his hand in front of it. Was due for a feed and I tell him he will probably get bit, but he chooses to do it anyway...I guess he didnt expect the coiling that accompanies a full-on feed response. wish I recorded it...was entertaining

You should tell him that he's more than welcome to stay up, sit still and watch him come out to play! That would have been a sight to see for sure! Not so burning snake am I now dad I remember giving my dad my little one when I first got him before I fed him, placed him in my dads hand and he struck at nothing, he was the size of a giant earth worm & that was enough for him to not like him forever!

 

[shrinkie]

dont have any dad jokes but my dd thinks its hillarous when i ask wats to eat and he says everything he knows i cant eat -.-

 

[Umbral]

I've got something in my eye.... I'll take a look, hold still..... Yep thats an eyeball alright. My day is full of silly things like that lol.

 

[emmalene_bunny]

My dad once told my friend not to bother having a shower when we stayed at his house because "ugly doesn't wash off"!

 

[Stuart]

My dad once told my friend not to bother having a shower when we stayed at his house because "ugly doesn't wash off"!

Your dad would get along well with mine.

I got dumped because I was constantly hanging with mates or playing computer games rather than spending quality time with here Dad told me I would do better being gay because at least then I would have a chance at a relationship longer than a couple of months.

 

[emmalene_bunny]

Your dad would get along well with mine.

I got dumped because I was constantly hanging with mates or playing computer games rather than spending quality time with here Dad told me I would do better being gay because at least then I would have a chance at a relationship longer than a couple of months.

They could be besties by the sounds of that! I guess it all makes sense in their heads, and is funny, in their heads.

 

[sharky]

haha, that's quite funny E_bunny! But REALLY embarrassing ay the same time :/

 

[emmalene_bunny]

haha, that's quite funny E_bunny! But REALLY embarrassing ay the same time :/

He was always worse to one of my friends because she was so awkward and couldn't tell if he was being serious or not, and you no that voice of, "daaaad!:evil:" But now I just tell him he's getting to old to know what he's even talking about hehe!

 

[Sleazy.P.Martini]

Dad: Ever seen the serial number on a condom?
Me: No?
Dad: Really? You mustn't be rolling them out far enough...

 

[emmalene_bunny]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That's absolutely hilarious!!!!!!

 

[thomasssss]

Dad: Ever seen the serial number on a condom?
Me: No?
Dad: Really? You mustn't be rolling them out far enough...

that is gold :lol:

 

[Emilie]

Your dads are just mean, some of the stuff you are referring to is not even close to funny

 

[Stuart]

Your dads are just mean, some of the stuff you are referring to is not even close to funny

My dad still clips me round the ear, just in case I have done something wrong. I turned out ok.

oh, and I like purple crayons.

 

[emmalene_bunny]

Your dads are just mean, some of the stuff you are referring to is not even close to funny

Each to their own I guess, I couldn't imagine my dad any other way and I wouldn't change him for the world, no matter what he always puts a smile on my face

 

[Emilie]

My dad once told my friend not to bother having a shower when we stayed at his house because "ugly doesn't wash off"!

One thing is to have your dad say it to you (which is where I still say MEAN), but to your friend???? I think that is bad humor and you never know how a person reacts to those kind of words. Everyone understands he's joking, but we all know the best jokes have a slight truth to them. If my friends dad had said anything like that to me or any of my friends I would surely let him know how insensitive and arrogant a saying like that sounds. Nothing funny about it for the person it's said to.