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Fuscus

Almost Legendary
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In the ironically named sunshine coast, surrounded
A review someone posted on my sunshine coast snake catcher facebook page

[h=5]Now well, that was an adrenaline fuelled morning for a Monday. Two encounters with the same snake in my back yard today. Picked up a palm fond and out dropped a Yellow- faced whip snake onto my foot. The scream that came out of my mouth would let your blood run cold and in an instant I became an Olympic sprinter out of the blocks. The only thing that stopped me was an 8ft timber fence, or I would have probably ended up in Coolum.
Thank heavens for an iphone with Google. I very, very cautiously sneaked past the pool pump, where I have been in and out from about 3 times this morning, put the confused worried dogs away inside the house and with my legs wobbling like green jelly went back to the pool area and phoned the snake catcher. With sweat dripping down my neck, rolling down my shivering spine, I waited and watched. My skin still tingling where I felt the cold, smooth snake skin slithering against it. 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes! How long does it take for the snake catcher to rush to this emergency?
I had to swallow hard to keep my breakfast inside and I had to keep on reminding myself to breath in and breath out, or I might pass out and the snake could have his way with me.
After, what felt like eternity, he finally arrived with no more than a snake bag, a hooked metal rod and a couple of awesome muscles on his upper arms. A Go-Pro camera strapped to his forehead and I knew I am in for some more excitement.
While he prodded around and under the air conditioner unit and the pool heat pump, I kept a fair distance with my eyes fixated on any snake kind of movement, but nah, nothing!! I swore to myself that from now on the pool water can turn into any colour it wanted even 50 shades of green, but no ways that I would go near the pool pump again if not dressed in some armoured suit.
After about 40 minutes of prodding I felt like maybe it was the medication I stopped taking last night that has caused me to hallucinate about slithering snake bodies over my feet.
I started to feel some of the snake catchers no fear attitude creeping into my now somewhat warmer veins. I even helped put the pool rod underneath the pool heater so he could lie down on his stomach peeping underneath. He then asked me if I could tip the machine over a bit so he could have a better look and that meant me standing with both my feet very close to the opening I have now created by lifting up the machine.
With excitement in his voice he shouted...there it is!!!!
Now, here is my dilemma. There is a snake right there near my feet and there is a snake catcher's face trapped under this very heavy machine I am holding up. So to drop the machine and make a run for it was not an option, the thought of checking that I have paid up my public liability insurance flashed through my mind.
My tongue was by now sticking to my palate like a piece of Blu tack, because somehow my mouth became so very dry, I tried to swallow but there was nothing to swallow.
Next thing he hooked the snake towards me, because I am standing right there, which was the only opening.
All I could see was a slithering very agitated body coming towards me. Well by then my humanity flew out the door and I knew it was time to forget thinking about the other human being. This was it! Each onto his own now, it was a matter of survival and that is precisely the instinct that kicked in at that very moment. With a shriek that could pierce your eardrums the next shot of adrenaline kicked in and I took off for the second time in so many minutes.
When I dared to look back to see if I was the only survivor in this encounter, I saw snake catcher with the writhing, angry as hell body in his hand, holding it by its tail, a smug triumphant smile beaming from his face.
By then my mostly peaceful and people loving Beagles, tried to rip apart the louvre windows from the inside of the house to come and save their beloved provider of food.
With the snake safely tied up in the snake bag, I paid him his $80 call out fee and it was the best bargain I have ever bought in my life.
Before the snake saga, I was dreading to sit down in front of my computer trying to do the taxes so I can keep the tax man off our backs. Now, somehow even the tax man does not seem to be such a threat anymore.
Oh, and apparently I was so talented in playing the snake victim's role, he caught everything on camera and it is going to be on the web. Oh, my goodness now I am even going to be famous. Is it not Youtube that started off Justin Bieber's career?
Another Aussie actress in the making, never say never.
[/h]

And the film - though the book was better ;)
[video=youtube;cxOXuWU7QzU]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxOXuWU7QzU&feature=youtu.be[/video]
 
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