The Ex Factor

Should You have a say in your partner's friends?


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Crystal..Discus

Well-Known Member
How important is it to you that your current boyfriend/girlfriend stops talking to their Ex? It's recently come up for me, and I was surprised just how strongly some friends felt when I asked them. Same goes for friends; Do you think you should have the right to tell them to stop talking to a person?

I always get interesting answers when I ask this... :lol: (Especially want to hear from the boys on this one.)
 

TigerCoastal

Well-Known Member
what about if they have kids? I have a son from a previous relationship, and my partner has 3 kids with her ex. Sometimes even if you dont like someone you dont have a choice and you have to bite your tongue. I know given the chance that my partner would never talk to her ex again, and how he treats her (still) he is lucky that he hasnt seen the inside of the emergency ward, but i cant do that infront of the kids. Me on the other hand, i have an amicable friendship with my ex, but we still only talk when i pick my son up and drop him off. My partner has never met my ex, but i have met hers ;) as well as her boyfriend from 10 years ago who has come and stayed with us on many occasions. I think what i am trying to say is that if you trust your partner what does it matter who he is friends with? If you have to control your partners friends its not a relationship, its a dictatorship, JMO.
 

JoceyFisch

Active Member
Before we lived together my bf was over one night when he got a msg from his ex.. long story short she ended up asking him to "come over and watch a dvd" we both had a good laugh at how pathetic she was... it wasn't the first or last time she tried to contact him again.. even to the point where she was telling him I was old and fat but in the end she is the one that looked like an ****wit when she couldn't move on (there was even another gf before me and after her).

I don't have any probs with my bf talking to his ex's.. well except maybe for her but more so coz she is a nasty mole but I trust him and he is even friends with one of my ex's. We don't care.. as long as you trust each other that's all that matters.
 

barbed_wire_dove

Well-Known Member
For the most part i dont care who my bf talks to, as long as i know about it, and hes the same with me.
and as for ex's, we are better friends with each others. Im often going out for coffee etc with his old gf's and he goes to the pub with mine, and we all hang out in groups on occasion as well.
He has 1 ex that i cant stand him talking to, only because shes a slag and brings stuff up that makes him really depressed about himself, and i'm not cool with that considering hes usually a really up beat bubbly person. and theres one ex of mine he doesnt like aswell (but i dont like him anymore either), so we are really even =)
 

morgs202

Well-Known Member
csi-kitchen.jpg
A girls best friend is the kitchen... she can talk to it allll day imo.
 

Elapidae1

Very Well-Known Member
Trust is the key issue here, with ex's there is obviously some boundaries that can't be crossed, as for dictating who a partner is friends with you need to have a good reason why you don't approve, when you hook up with someone unless they have been bought up in a monastery or something, chances are they've got a past, if the partner isn't behaving inappropriately then it's up to you to deal with it appropriately
 

nathancl

Well-Known Member
My partner and I recently had breakfast with an ex on our anniversary......but for the most part i dont care because im clearly hotter than they are anyway
 

ravan

Very Well-Known Member
lol nice nathan :p

my current boyfriend actually lives with his ex... and i have no issue with this. I trust him completely and know that nothing would ever happen between them.. and we go out on double 'dates' all the time with his ex's new partner also :p
 

Gekambi

Well-Known Member
Grumpy, Grumpy. Lol. i'm good friends with my ex's (altough im a bit inexperienced compaired to older people so things like that may change). I really don't like it when people after getting dumped or something they try to make the person sound really bad. Happy i haven't dated anyone like that yet (my Gf's friends try to do it too me though =D).

"Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one enother, envying eachother" GALATIANS 5:26. So basically, don't go being jealous as all you will do is start a fight.
 
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Gekambi

Well-Known Member
Ok I'll be nice. =D Well at least your not over trusting. You'd much rather find it hard to trust people then find it impossible to not trust them. =D
 

captive_fairy

Well-Known Member
I am good friends with a couple of my ex's and I would get upset my patner started trying to dictate to me that I couldn't be friends with them...My partner isn't friends with his ex's but I wouldn't care if he did want to be friends, I trust him
 

Mrs I

Very Well-Known Member
I guess it depends on the situation, if your partner is open and honest about communication he/she has with the ex then that would be ok, but its when you find out about the phone calls, emails and coffee catch ups that you were not told about that i feel there is a problem...
 

Kristy_07

Very Well-Known Member
I'm never friends with exes. It's called breaking up because IT'S BROKEN! Why would I want to stay in touch with them? If I want a friend for company or need support, I'll go ring one of my friends, with whom I don't have complicated, intimate history with.

I'm also comfortable with the fact that my partner isn't friends with his exes - how does it contribute to our relationship for anyone to being looking over their shoulder? But, also very happy that we're amicable with his son's mother and her family.

I guess it's multi-faceted :D
 

Gekambi

Well-Known Member
In respose to all the 15 things. I do not claim to know why people our age date. I have only had 2 Gf's and tend to avoid extra complications. Both times it just happened, it's not like, "im going to date you cause your hot" or something like that. This is the world these days. Even though we don't know why these things happen (not referencing puberty)(or you have a degree in psycological assessment and you study the minds of teens), it just does.
Just remember that in history people used to MARRY at 12! Personally, i think we've improved =D. How 'bout you?
 
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