i answered you questions, i had around 4 pages of them, but i lost em.. alot of these were so simple to answer...
If it is illegal to drink & drive why do we need to show a licence to buy alcohol?
because its photographic I.D. you could use your passport if you like.
Is there such a thing as a closet case claustrophobe?
yes, 'closet case' means they are yet to aware themselves or others of their case.
Why do we turn the radio down in the car when looking for a number of a house?
to aid with concentration
Why is Greenlands covered in ice & Icelands covered in grass?
because they are the names of countries, a country name doesnt refer to its contents or landscapes. china isnt full of chins, Greece isnt covered in grease, nor is canada full of cans.
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
yes, no matter your work, your wages can be garnished. but why when he is sued?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
yes, 'fly' is the common name for the family of insect. not its ability.
Why do bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks?
your just impatiant.
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
because they are not put through an electric dryer
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
are you not apart from your neighbour. or are you in a hostel?
Why does the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
your hair is dead, thus bleached. your skin is alive and being burned.
If the funeral procession is at night, do you drive with your lights off?
no, its illegal. plus if its at night, they most likely have candles. and if you in a car, your not part of the procession. so ring out you lonely peice of crap! :lol:
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
yes, he would hear a large sound becore being crushed or burnt to death.
If cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
yes, they need to say this to ever arrest. its a legality.
Why is the word abbreviation so long?
because its shorter than saying 'short form' and its a technical term, to the actual word used 'lol' - 'laugh out loud' thus the actual word is the 'short term' not the technical name.
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
it helps widen the eye, and bring down the lower lid.
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
the content does not make a difference on classification of success or failure.
Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
matter of personal opinion. but yes, its more fun, you get to hit zombies with shovels and dance to themonster mash.
What do you do when you discover an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
stop spraying pesticide, and nitrogen. both species are technically still available so why panic. without furhtur human interaction both species 'could' come back from endagerment. then again ever 7 seconds or so we loose a specied on earth to extinction.
Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?
yes. dah..
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
yes, im sure their boss wouldnt suppress them to stealing stock for breaks.
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
fed ex and ups are both successful, thus wont merge. ups stand for united postal service, so this makes it even more unlikely. plus i dont thinkt hey are stupid enough.
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, 'Quit while you're ahead?'
because one day you will fail, look bad, loose somethign whilst not quitting. winners do quit, some at the wrong time. meaning, quit whilst you still have the fame, money, and happiness..
Is it possible to be totally partial?
yes, its called stubborn.
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
because tourist season wasnt created for hunting reasons, rather a time of influx of foreigners who build the local or internation economy.
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
because everyones 'rushing' thus more cars, thus slower traffic.
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
because technically all legalised surgeries need to use sterile instruments. their organs may be used for other reasons, plus why give a zombie aids. have you not seen '28 days later' they bite you!!!
What's another word for thesaurus?
lexicon, vocabulary. glossary.
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
because its a medical practice. practice also means an established 'way' to do things, or an excercise. especially one that has developed through experience and knowledge.
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
artificial flavour is much cheaper and easier, not all brands do this. dishwashing liquid, lemons are acidic and would aid with cleaning and de-greasing, and also a fragrance. after all in a drink your most likely after the flavour, not a fruit.
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
because it will expire, and mould. leave it out for a week, then try eat it.
Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
if the plain bumps around before the desired destination, the driver could become unconsious hit off target, or come back and hit the base.
How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
because its a musical instrument, and those with lack of apreceation suspect it is just a tool of anoyance. and elderly woman could suggest your grungy electric giutar is out of tune, or a crappy excuse for a musical instrument.
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
no, modern day cannibals often choose cult related meals, or pretty young girls. go watch the news, and realise that cannibals were most famous on high 'cult' religeon islands. with wacky religeons etc. etc.
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
its far too heavy, and its also orange to aid rescuers or people to find it. george bush has a plane with the abiltiy to fly through an atom bomb, he has the money and power to fund and fly such a plane.
Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
no, what the hell is your reasoning behidn this. 9 lives is a saying,
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
because it means agent, dealer, adviser, or negotiator.
If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
yes if you wish, its your choice not his, you have the gun.
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
a terminal is a work station. it is the planes equivelent to a boats dock, or a buses station.
