How to get over a breakup?

[Asharee133]

im about 4 days into a breakup whom i thought was the love of my life, everything was fine then boom, he didn't love me anymore because we fought alot, all i wanna do now is just curl up in a ball and wish it was just a joke or a really long bad dream, ive been having pretty bad thoughts lately, theres something in the back of my head going just do it now and it will all be over, no it wont, ill leave behind mum, paris and crystal, and i couldn't do that to them, i just really want someone to just tell me that it will be over soon because i can't take much more of this, im on the point of a nervous breakdown.

 

[Chris1]

if u were older id mention the old saying, 'the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else, lol,..'

sorry to hear ur having a rough time, the first break up is always the hardest, especially if it comes out of the blue,..


be happy with urself and dont give 100% of ur heart to relationships, keep a bit aside for urself, ur family, friends and pets, theres plenty of people who want ur love, give it to those who deserve it, thats to those people who bring stability to ur life.


i look back at my younger days and wonder why i took it all so seriously, ur at the age u should be having fun not thinking someone will be there for you forever!!

and definately not the age to be thinking about ending it all!!!

it will hurt for a while, but then someone better will come along and you'll deal with the intensity of ur feelings a whole lot better.

 

[mwloco]

you will be a stronger person when you make it out the other side. breakups can teach you things which you cannot learn any other way.

keep your friends close. im sure they know you are feeling horrible and they should be able to help you through.

try to think in a positive way. you dont need a boy anyway. you will find the right person for you one day.

you need to do what makes you happy.

 

[melgalea]

wow thats really sad at 15 to be going through that..
when i was yonger, u know 15,16,17,18 and such i had a couple of great boyfriends who i was full on in love with... they were always a bit older, anyway, long story short... they broke up with me, and i was devistated, wouldnt get out of bed, wouldnt eat and what not, the usual crap we go through in a normal break up. my mum told me to wake up to myself. lol. hmmm... and go to work, i ended up being transfered to a new store the following day, and i met and fell in love with a wonderufl man whom i am happily married to and have a child with 10 years on... my point to this is, that sometimes we think the person whom we wish was the one, isnt always the one... and when love is ready, it finds you, there is someone out there for you, and when the time is right, he will find u, you have a lot of living to do. have some girlfriends over , grab some movies and try and take your mind off it for a bit. sometimes the best revenge is to look fantastic and show him what he will now be missing out on.
all the best
cheers
mel

 

[mwloco]

sometimes the best revenge is to look fantastic and show him what he will now be missing out on.

oh yeah mel is soooo right.
you were too good for him anyway. you'll find somebody who deserves you and you'll look back on this old relationship without sadness.

the main thing is to make sure he is no longer the focus of your world.
i know its hard and you feel like a piece of you has been cut away but you are stronger than you realise and you CAN be happy without him

we all go through breakups and im sure the girls who have experienced it can now say that old breakups are simply a learning experience.

 

[Asharee133]

i know but, i cant do anything without being reminded of him, i just feel worthless and i dont wanna do anything, im at the point where im nearly gonna admit myself to hospital because i just want this pain to go away, its been here for about 7 months straight and it just got worse 4 days ago and i dont think ill last without just breaking till monday

 

[brigo]

All i can say is from experience, everything seems like it will end and theres no way out..But time is the key, and keep yourself occupied, hang with friends, make new friends etc, do what you like best.

I came out 10x stronger after i dealt with it..didnt think i would but i did..be strong

 

[DanTheMan]

My auntie attempted suicide over some guy when she was a teen, luckily her flat mate saved her in time, and now she thinks it was really stupid, its 1 guy, is it really worth it? Hardly, it may seem that way now but you'll get over. It's not going to happen over night, but it will. Your only 15, it's not the end of the world, you'll find someone better.

 

[Tinky]

How many people do you know who have stayed with the one partner since the age of 15.
You have the world at your feet. Unfortunately there are scum bags in this word who use and abuse.
1) Avoid your ex
2) Don’t listen to the radio, (to many love songs)
3) Look fabulous, (makeover time)
4) Keep busy, (don’t mope, put your spare time into your interests, and or exercise)
5) Set a "Feel Good Goal" - Have a look at something that you have always wanted to do and set some goals to achieve this wish
6) Don’t get a tattoo
7) If you need help, don’t be afraid to take advantage of the services that are out there, (i.e. beyond blue)
8) Put a sad photo of yourself on the mirror, when you see it each day ask yourself, is this what people want to see when they look at me, is this who I am.
9) Put a happy photo on the mirror and repeat point 8
Finally Point 10) Take all advice with a grain of salt. Does not matter how old or wise people are we still make relationship mistakes. Find what works for you.

Give yourself a hug from me.

 

[cosmicwolf4]

Honey, no guy (or girl) is worth killing yourself for. You are a beautiful girl and have a wonderful life ahead of you. Don't throw that away because one guy hurt you... You have much more value than being a girlfriend for a guy who thinks no further than his mates and pc games. Look in the mirror, hold your head up and tell yourself that you are beautiful, friendly and have a fantastic future to come.
You will have a few relationships before you find someone who is right for you, if he was the right one, he wouldn't have hurt you. He's the loser, not you xoxo

 

[Asharee133]

quite alot of people i know have been married since 15-16, what really hurts was he told me he started to grow away from me, and he could look me in the eye and say i love you, yet when he went back to queensland to see his nan, all this shat happened, i just wish he told me what was going on, the selfish beep just didn't want to feel guilty and have to face me in person so he couldn't just press the hang up button and ignore me, and whats really ****ting me is im the one whos stressing him!! im bawling my eyes out every single day because i just dont feel worth **** anymore, the only time im happy is when im asleep and not dreaming

 

[redbellybite]

ASH ..in all real terms ...you are grieving ..so you will go through the motions as you would do when you lost your mate in that accident ...at the moment you are angry feel cheated and ripped off ...then you get the how am I gonna do it with out him? ,then you get the" F "bomb happening where you wanna rub his face in to it ...and after all that you get the ..met another great guy ,and who gives a rats about whats his name ...trust me its all part of being 15 and in love ...

 

[TWENTY B]

harden up. Your only 15. Don't be so serious.
You'll find someone new.

 

[G_L_O_R_I_A]

It will be calm after the storm

All this will pass. Remember what I told you, Everyone has gone through the same thing. You'll look through it all later on in life, and be like, "WOw. I Can't believe I actually felt this way." I know it's hard to get over your first, but trust me, This too shall pass.

 

[cosmicwolf4]

ASH ..in all real terms ...you are grieving ..so you will go through the motions as you would do when you lost your mate in that accident ...at the moment you are angry feel cheated and ripped off ...then you get the how am I gonna do it with out him? ,then you get the" F "bomb happening where you wanna rub his face in to it ...and after all that you get the ..met another great guy ,and who gives a rats about whats his name ...trust me its all part of being 15 and in love ...

Well said, There is a turnaround time when it all just suddenly clicks in and you realise that you are worth way more than you thought when he went. He's not worth your tears babe and he's certainly not worth the loss of a beautiful life.
Give it a few weeks hun and you'll notice one morning that thigs are brighter and there's a new cute guy to check out that you hadn't noticed before xoxo

 

[Kersten]

Asharee, the fact that a lot of people have been married that young doesn't make it right. Hard as it may be to understand right now, although you may think you're mature for your age you are still a child. You still have the vast majority of your life ahead of you and precious little adult experience behind you. You are far too young to have been involved in such an adult relationship, and the way you're feeling now really highlights that fact. Please share your feelings with your mum, or a teacher, some adult in your life who will see that you get some help with what you're going through.

 

[ravan]

buy a voodoo doll and stick pins in his boy bits
hehe, works well ;P

pffft you dont need men anyway, they're all stupid and full of lies. and as lots of people said, it'll pass. It gets better with time, right now its raw and horrible, but it'll pass. Go have a bubble bath, do some shopping, something that makes you happy and just relax and do something fun.

 

[ssshazza]

Asharee,

I'm so sorry to hear about your break up and the pain you're going through. You need to think positive and remember that this is a blessing in disguise. I 'escaped' out of a horrible relationship when I was 19, it was THE best thing that ever happened for me. A few tips to get you through:

• Refer to your ex as 'him', don't say his name..ever. You can also call him 'd-head, a-hole etc
• Box up anything that he gave you, burn photos, have a little ritual and visualise what your burning is the past with him, the smoke released into the air is your new life. Or you can just enjoy watching his head burning in the photo
• Re-arrange your room, put some fresh photos of your friends/family up, get a nice vase of flowers, and make it a relaxing place for you.
• Look after yourself, makeovers, new exercise routine, make yourself feel like the queen you are. You need to love yourself, before letting anyone else in again.
• Spend some time alone, reading, listening to music, become comfortable being alone, it really can be a great experience. Hang out with your family and friends if you don't like being alone.
• Delete all old texts, DELETE HIS NUMBER, even change your number. Say 'no, we can't still be friends', 'no I don't wanna talk about this'. Take charge and tell the fool where to go!

Sorry if this is long, but I know what its like and you are so young, enjoy being young, guys come and go, so look after your own interests first.
Take care,
Shari

 

[slim6y]

Wow - I love some of your ideas here - they're really good - especially ssshazza's ideas seem very realistic.

My only input is this one that I learnt years ago and it did feel quite refreshing:

Write a letter of all the horrible things he's done to you - write it in ink and pop it in an envelope, even address it to him if you want... then throw it away or burn it..... don't send it.... just burn it....

The one thing I don't like is not being able to let go... So you do need to take control of your life and eventually, as with all, time heals....

Plus - you never know what's around the corner do you... It could be the absolute love of your life or maybe the number two bus to Smithfield... but either way - your life is now in the 'exciting' new part and I wish you all the luck with that

PS - Smithfield isn't too bad, there's a boost juice bar there and they always make me feel good...

 

[Dragoness]

It sucks, and at 15 you fall very hard and feel like you're the only one whos ever experienced such a deep lose. Thing is, you WILL get over it, I can say that probably 99% of ppl on this forum have been through the same thing. I know I did, I felt my world was going to end and I couldnt carry on. Took me about 2 weeks to realise it wasnt as bad as I first thought and about 3 weeks to move on. I think I fell in love about 8 times before I met my husband. I thought all of them were my true love, the second I met my husband, I knew REAL love.
You're 15, go out and have some fun. The BEST revenge is for your ex to see you out there, not caring about him and getting on with life. Trust me on that!

Cheers