Fuscus
Almost Legendary
- Joined
- Sep 17, 2003
- Messages
- 7,897
- Reaction score
- 5
First off was a 4am callout from a palatial nursing home. Got there to find - a lizard. Anomalopus verreauxi or the Three-Clawed Worm skink. It does look like a snake and the staff did the right thing but my sleep pattern is now shot. Driving home and the alarm to get ready for the 6am gym class ( Body Attack ) went off - not a hope!
And the second callout of the day started with the normal "why so much?" conversation. I explained that you couldn't get a plumber to fart in your general direction for what I charge but my best salesman, fear, stepped in and she agreed. Things are not great economically on the Sunny Coast, there is very little work here and I think this is causing people to get one of two syndromes - fish or duck! I'm pretty certain I suffer from duck.
Anyhow I was there in 10 minutes and there is the woman in the garage (on a car bonett with a broom in her hand) looking into the laundry at a broom cupboard door. Under the door she had stuffed towels the prevent the animal from leaving. I have seen this before, it works, not by blocking the animals escape but by giving it a place to hide under and feel secure. In all cases when this happened the animal pops its head out, look around then settle under a towel.
Anyhow, I used my hook to carefully move the towels away and, of course, at the last towel - there she was - a beautiful Red-Bellied Black Snake.
Normally red bellies just sit there, they have beautiful bodies, are great to look at, but are so passive. I much prefer it when she moves - it is so much more interesting.
And she moved! BOY - did she move.
First off was a lunge straight at me, this girl had a special kiss and was willing to kiss me. On the lips. Or ankles. Or any body part I was willing to present. I felt honoured.
Then she turned and ducked under the door into the cupboard.
And so the chase was on, but it wasn't much of a chase. The broom cupboard did not have much in it, some gas cylinders, a golf bag and, surprisingly some brooms. She backed into a corner and assumed the defensive position. Once the cupboard was cleared she struck at me again (twice) and moved towards me (Did I say I love it when they move). The black bag was placed in front of her, she moved in and it was all over - except for the cheering, adulation and the difficult task of getting my head out though the doorway
I should point out the animal wasn't really being aggressive, she was probably scared **** less, and had no cover and nowhere to go. I'm sure she is much happier now, in Coolum National park next to a nice swamp with lots of juicy frogs.
But somehow I don't think the frogs are too happy.
Third callout was up in Noosa. I told them to call the local catcher but apparently he told them to call me.
It was a share house of 3 pretty young women and one cat. The women were so glad to see me but the cat thought it was beneath its dignity to even look at me and/or acknowledge my existence.
And I was there to save the cat too!
Anyhow they had a visit the night before, the place is not in the best of condition, and had down lights with a couple of lights missing and holes up into the ceiling. One girl went to the kitchen around 2:30am and there was two meters of carpet python hanging out of the hole where a down light should be. She was not happy and the cat was no where to be seen, probably hiding under a bed.
So this was a ceiling job - open man hole and hop in.
The first thing I noticed was a smell. All reptile keepers know this smell as does my wife. In fact when she smells it she gets all excited, slides up to me and whispers into my ear "I THINK ONE OF YOUR BLOODY SNAKES HAS CRAPPED AGAIN!".
Actually that is not quite true - she doesn't whisper.
A look around and there is a serpentine Bondi cigar right near me.
Unfortunately that was as far as I got. Half an hour of searching in an exceptionally uncomfortable ceiling revealed nothing. Architect designed with sloping roofs and eves and a mountain of insulation. Loads of little nooks and crevices where a python could go and stay out of reach if seen. You could hide 6 full grown reticulated pythons up there with very little hope of finding one of them.
But there was also great gaps to the outside world where add-ons had been built. Perfect possum and snake entry points.
So in the end I blocked up the holes to prevent the snake from entering the house proper and recommended that they force the landlord to fix the lights and possum proof the house.
The girls were happy, told me how brave and wonderful I was and I then hand the standard difficulty getting my head through the door.
And the second callout of the day started with the normal "why so much?" conversation. I explained that you couldn't get a plumber to fart in your general direction for what I charge but my best salesman, fear, stepped in and she agreed. Things are not great economically on the Sunny Coast, there is very little work here and I think this is causing people to get one of two syndromes - fish or duck! I'm pretty certain I suffer from duck.
Anyhow I was there in 10 minutes and there is the woman in the garage (on a car bonett with a broom in her hand) looking into the laundry at a broom cupboard door. Under the door she had stuffed towels the prevent the animal from leaving. I have seen this before, it works, not by blocking the animals escape but by giving it a place to hide under and feel secure. In all cases when this happened the animal pops its head out, look around then settle under a towel.
Anyhow, I used my hook to carefully move the towels away and, of course, at the last towel - there she was - a beautiful Red-Bellied Black Snake.
Normally red bellies just sit there, they have beautiful bodies, are great to look at, but are so passive. I much prefer it when she moves - it is so much more interesting.
And she moved! BOY - did she move.
First off was a lunge straight at me, this girl had a special kiss and was willing to kiss me. On the lips. Or ankles. Or any body part I was willing to present. I felt honoured.
Then she turned and ducked under the door into the cupboard.
And so the chase was on, but it wasn't much of a chase. The broom cupboard did not have much in it, some gas cylinders, a golf bag and, surprisingly some brooms. She backed into a corner and assumed the defensive position. Once the cupboard was cleared she struck at me again (twice) and moved towards me (Did I say I love it when they move). The black bag was placed in front of her, she moved in and it was all over - except for the cheering, adulation and the difficult task of getting my head out though the doorway
I should point out the animal wasn't really being aggressive, she was probably scared **** less, and had no cover and nowhere to go. I'm sure she is much happier now, in Coolum National park next to a nice swamp with lots of juicy frogs.
But somehow I don't think the frogs are too happy.
Third callout was up in Noosa. I told them to call the local catcher but apparently he told them to call me.
It was a share house of 3 pretty young women and one cat. The women were so glad to see me but the cat thought it was beneath its dignity to even look at me and/or acknowledge my existence.
And I was there to save the cat too!
Anyhow they had a visit the night before, the place is not in the best of condition, and had down lights with a couple of lights missing and holes up into the ceiling. One girl went to the kitchen around 2:30am and there was two meters of carpet python hanging out of the hole where a down light should be. She was not happy and the cat was no where to be seen, probably hiding under a bed.
So this was a ceiling job - open man hole and hop in.
The first thing I noticed was a smell. All reptile keepers know this smell as does my wife. In fact when she smells it she gets all excited, slides up to me and whispers into my ear "I THINK ONE OF YOUR BLOODY SNAKES HAS CRAPPED AGAIN!".
Actually that is not quite true - she doesn't whisper.
A look around and there is a serpentine Bondi cigar right near me.
Unfortunately that was as far as I got. Half an hour of searching in an exceptionally uncomfortable ceiling revealed nothing. Architect designed with sloping roofs and eves and a mountain of insulation. Loads of little nooks and crevices where a python could go and stay out of reach if seen. You could hide 6 full grown reticulated pythons up there with very little hope of finding one of them.
But there was also great gaps to the outside world where add-ons had been built. Perfect possum and snake entry points.
So in the end I blocked up the holes to prevent the snake from entering the house proper and recommended that they force the landlord to fix the lights and possum proof the house.
The girls were happy, told me how brave and wonderful I was and I then hand the standard difficulty getting my head through the door.
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