January jokes

[jacorin]

new joke for the new year

Mike walks into a bar and sees Pat sitting at the end of the bar with a great big smile on his face. Mike says, "Pat, what are you so happy for?"

"Well Mike, I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat, and a redhead came up to me.. tits out to here, Mike. Tits out to here! She says, 'Can I have a ride in your boat?'"

I said 'Sure you can have a ride in my boat.' So I took her way out, Mike. I took her way out. I turned off the key and I said 'It's either screw or swim!' She couldn't swim, Mike. She couldn't swim!"

The next day Mike walks into a bar and sees Pat sitting at the end of the bar with an even bigger smile on his face. Mike says, "What are you happy about today Pat?"

"Well Mike.... I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat and a BEAUTIFUL blonde came up to me...tits out to here, Mike. Tits out to here! She said 'Can I have a ride in your boat?'

I told her, 'Sure you can have a ride in my boat.' So I took her way out, Mike. Way the **** out there. Much further than the last one. I turned off the key and I said, 'It's either screw or swim!' She couldn't swim, Mike! She couldn't swim!"

A couple days pass and Mike walks into a bar and sees Pat down there cryin' over a beer. Mike says, "Pat, what are you so sad for?"

"Well Mike, I gotta tell ya....Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat, and the most desirable brunette came up to me...tits WAY out to here, Mike. Tits WAY out to here. She says, 'Can I have a ride in your boat?'

So I said, 'Sure you can have a ride in my boat.' So I took her way out, Mike, way WAY out... much, much further than the last two times. I turned off the key, and looked at her tits and said 'It's either screw or swim!'

She pulled down her pants and...She had a pecker, Mike! She had this great BIG pecker! And I can't swim Mike! I can't swim!"

 

[jacorin]

and again

TOUGH TIMES AHEAD

This morning, from a cave somewhere in Pakistan , Taliban Minister of
Emigration, Mohammed Omar warned Australia that if military action against Iraq & Afghanistan continues, Taliban authorities will cut off Australia 's Supply of Convenience Store managers, and if this action does not yieldSufficient results, Cab Drivers will be next, followed by Telstra CustomerService Reps, Dole Office Workers and Telemarketers and finally, QueenslandDoctors.


THIS IS GETTING UGLY, FOLKS!!!!!!