Reptile jokes

[Mitchell1995]

I saw a good Reptile joke so I thought I might start a thread about such jokes, feel free to add any as well.

" A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?
As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on His knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?
She in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, I don't fink my pet python weally gives a thit." :shock:

 

[maddog-1979]

i know a good reptile joke

RH

 

[dean30bb]

love it ! hahaha

 

[SteveNT]

i know a good reptile joke

RH

no.... that's a tragi-comedy.

 

[thomasssss]

haha thats great well mines not really reptile related but more animal related

you are riding a horse a a full pace gallop,to your left there is a steep cliff in front of you is hippo ,behind you is a tiger and to your right is another horse
what must you do to get yourself out of this highly deadly situation.....

get your drunken bum off the merigo round

 

[AirCooled]

Previously posted on APS,but still a good one..Two snakes. One says to the other "Are we poisonous?" the other says "No why?" "Thank god, I just bit my lip!"

 

[Blake182]

this one not a reptile joke its a car joke
"there a little girl walking down the sreet and a car pulls up beside her''
the man in the car said 'little girl little girl if u hop in the car ill give u a lolly'
the girl Keep walking forward so the car roles on and the man in the car said ''little girl if u hope in the car ill give u the hole bag of lollyies'' the little girl turns and says ''daddy it not my fault you brought a holden''

 

[Sir_Hiss]

lol. all gold.

I've got a dinosaur joke but I'm not sure if it's appropriate...

What do you call a gay dinosaur?


Mega-sore-a$$

 

[AirCooled]

A young blonde woman was driving through the Florida Everglades while on vacation. She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young Blonde declared, "Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of shoes for free!"

The shopkeeper said with a sly smile, "Well little lady, why don't you go on and give it a try?"

She looked at him with her own sly smile and said "I was born and raised on a farm. I think I will"

The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator.

Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in
hand. As he brings his car to a stop, he sees a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her.

With lightning reflexes, the Blonde takes aim, shoots the creature and hauls it up onto the slippery bank. Nearby were 7 more dead gators, all lying belly up.

The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement. The blonde struggles mightily and manages to flip the gator onto its back.

Rolling her eyes heavenward, she screams in frustration,
"CRAP! THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT TOO!"

 

[JasonL]

The last ID thread was a good laugh

 

[Globe]

What did the snake give to his wife?

A goodnight hiss.

 

[MathewB]

Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

Because the chicken hadn't evolved yet!!




Why am I so funny?

 

[slim6y]

lol. all gold.

I've got a dinosaur joke but I'm not sure if it's appropriate...

What do you call a gay dinosaur?


Mega-sore-a$$

That's incredible sexist.... They could also be called lickalotapus.

 

[Bluetongue1]

What do you call a dinosaur that is about to eat you and your companion?

Ithinkysaurus.

 

[leamos]

Whats cute, fluffy and hangs upside down?

Day old chick halfway down a jungles throat

 

[lizardloco]

What do you call a dinosaur that is about to eat you and your companion?

Ithinkysaurus.

I've heard similar jokes, (Jurassic Park)...

What do you call a blind dinosaur??? Do-you-think-he-saurus :lol:

What do you call a blind dinosaurs dog??? Do-you-think-he-saurus REX