About as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike.

[thomasssss]

He is so lazy he would marry a pregnant woman.


Kindest regards


Endeavour

pffft thats far from lazy , ive seen pregnant women at their worst and it aint pretty , i would of hated to be in my mates position at that time and that was only the beginning of his new fun life

 

[KaotikJezta]

Your not even a mothers/fathers/friends etc ahole
Few crumbs short of a full biccie
That's the way the cookie crumbles
As useful as a blonde with a book
Dumb as dogpoo
A case for compulsory sterilisation

 

[Monitor_Keeper]

One I could use for a few people I know

" The lights are on but nobody home " love it.

 

[andynic07]

If brains were dynamite he/she wouldn't have enough to blow his/her nose.

 

[onimocnhoj]

You can't kiss butt and complain about the taste of crap..

For the lazy ones,

He's one of those people who gets up with nothing to do and goes to bed with only half of it done..

 

[Baturb]

A man who has never made a mistake has never made anything

 

[stimigex]

About as handy as a pocket in a pair of jocks!

- - - Updated - - -

She's about as ugly as a truck load of monkeys all A#se out!

 

[Nighthawk]

I'm surprised nobody's put rubber nails and/or glass hammer or screen door in a submarine.

 

[Shotta]

He/she has a head like a prawn,
a face only a paperbag could love,
as useless as a jellyfish
as dumb as a post,
some other funny sayings
lol you know you're ugly when you're the one asked to take the photo

of course im not perfect! theres a crack in my a s s

The wizard of oz is the ultimate chick flick, its about 2 women trying to kill each other over shoes

lol how comes i can't get reception at my own house but some terrorist can upload his vids in a cave from afghanistan?

a real friend will stick up for you, but a best friend will punch whoever made you upset right in the face!

the words "i love you" has 8 letters but so does BLack Ops

"always be yourself unless you're boring, stupid or ugly. then you should try being someone else

feelings are what seperates us from the animals thats why you don't see a gorilla crying while eating ice cream an whatching the notebook

 

[user 16446]

As useless as udders on a bull.

 

[Bluetongue1]

To continue the flatulence theme…
As useful as a fart in a bottle.
As difficult as trying to fart sideways up an oyster bottle.

A few others…
A head like a racing tadpole
A few roos loose in the top paddock

These can be switched to suit the feminine sex with minimal change of words…
I have never been to bed with an ugly woman, but I have sure woken up with a few.
And for those familiar with the saying “Dingo ugly” and where it comes from, an alternative expression… A three paper bag job!

For the luckless, a few classics from “Barry MacKenzie”…
I wouldn’t win a kick in a riot.
In the mallee I’d be stiff to find a root.
I am as lonely as a bastard on Father’s Day.
If it was raining virgins, I’d be washed down the gutter with a poof.

Blue

 

[congo_python]

I'm on a seafood diet.everytime I see food, I eat it.
Two wrongs can make a riot.
There's more than one way to skin a cat.
My familys like a snickers bar, mostly sweet but with a few nuts.
A Princess gets her education one Knight at a time
He's just an oxygen thief.
You could'nt even swing a cat in this room.
Many campaign promise are sound.Just sound !

 

[Elapidae1]

When I was 14 I worked a checkout, one of the checkout chicks fancied me. My boss pulled me aside and shared his wisdom.

Lad, never get your meat where you make your bread.

!0 years later I began working at the same place as a butcher where I met and later married the baker.

 

[Bluetongue1]

Hey, I am glad for your sake you ignored the corollary… never get your bread where you make your meat. Classic!

Blue