need some advice on mental abuse

[Grogshla]

does any1 have any good methods of dealing with mentally abusive parents?
Is there anywhere i can get help?

 

[Black.Rabbit]

lifeline.. kids help line... You can get a Mental Health Action Plan from the doctor which will give you 18 subsidised psychology sessions per yer, I highly recommend doing that!

How old are you?

 

[Grogshla]

thanks mate.
I am 26. I just moved back to wollongong to take care of my mum as she needed me around the house (her and dad split up)
I will have a chat to the doctor. It is physically making me ill and affecting my health and everyday routine.

 

[Black.Rabbit]

Yeah, go the action plan for sure. Google some psychologists... clinical psychologists are better, and then get to the doctor.
Good luck with it

 

[hornet]

Just book a mental health action plan with your gp, took bout 15mins for me. Probably your best course of action

 

[Grogshla]

thanks again

 

[marcmarc]

Are you able to bring any issues up with your parents?
It is hard being the guy in the middle trying to keep everyone happy, ultimately you can't please everyone but you can do what is healthy for you, as hard as that can be.
All the best anyways!

 

[danricho]

Good Luck, very brave to ask for help, all the best.

 

[moosenoose]

Worse than physical abuse in a way. The scars run just as deep. Definately don't hesitate doing something about it. Good to see you being pro-active and seeking help!

 

[Leeloofluff]

I would get out, if you leave your mother will have to realise that she is in the wrong, and if she needs you, shell change. People who mentally abuse are cowards but often have bad intentions, just get out mate.

 

[D3pro]

Parents will be parents. It becomes a problem when they don't let you have your own independence and treat you like you know nothing. This isn't an issue that should be addressed to you personally. I strongly believe you need family counselling. Because even you if get help your parents won't stop throwing the chains on your back. Sadly I didn't take this path and now resent my father... not a good place to be in when you have grandkids.

 

[85Hickey]

Sorry but why would he "get out" and leave his mum in the state shes in? Hes obviously moved in with her as he mentioned hes parents split up so hes there to help her, Unfortunately stress is probably a major factor and you are the only one she can take it out on. Good on you for seeking help, and good on you for doing what family should!!

 

[GrumpyTheSnake]

Some parents don't even realise that they are mentally abusing their children, and they don't mean to do it. But we as humans, tend to take out our frustrations and anger on those that are closest to us, and we love the most. Especially now that you are a grown man, she probably sees you as 'strong', and forgets that you are still her child and her words can effect you more deeply than they would a stranger.
Though all are said with the best intentions, majority of the advice given here isn't going to help because we don't know the full situation. The best advice given here is to see your GP about an Action Plan.
Good on you for seeking help, that's a big step. Good luck with everything mate, I hope it all works out well for you.

 

[Grogshla]

Thanks alot guys/girls
means alot. Yes i have moved home recently but this has been happening in my family since i can remember and it has become much worse over the last 5 years. This year in particular has been a nightmare. Going to talk to some professionals today. Thanks again for all the help and support.

 

[Mercurian]

Mental Health Action Plan is good advice. Also there are often community-run mental health organisations where you can just hang out and speak to people who have not only been trained in helping with these sorts of things but have been through them as well. For some people it adds another perspective on top of what the Psych can offer and it's free. You may want to see if there's something like that in your area.

 

[Defective]

lifeline.. kids help line... You can get a Mental Health Action Plan from the doctor which will give you 18 subsidised psychology sessions per yer, I highly recommend doing that!

No, you don't you only get 12 and trust me they get used up pretty fast.

Grogshla: i know what it's like to be a victim of a mentally abusive parent. my dad did it for years and so did my stepmother but only to me and never my sister. i am mentally and emotionally scared from it all and in 08 i became suicidal. so yeah, you can't deal with it, really mental health plans only work if you have a supportive network around you with that mainly being your parents.

if she, herself is extremely mentally ill then i guess the best thing you could do is have her committed and as her current guardian you are capable of doing that if you think she is incapable of making reasonable decisions for herself and you believe you are in danger. it will at least give you a break and give you time to gather your thoughts. its not a great thought any person wants to think about but i have thought about committing myself before so that i wouldn't kill myself.

just think about it.

 

[Airlie]

Fight fire with fire.

 

[Snakewoman]

Hope you can get it sorted out, mental abuse certainly isn't an uncommon thing. When I was 7 years old I remember telling my mum that I wanted my stepfather to move out. I was never a drama queen, and it took a lot for me to say it. My stepfather used to stir me up a lot, and he'd continue until I got really upset and yelled at him to stop. My mum would come into the room and ask what was going on, and he would pretend he didn't know, so I'd get in trouble for yelling at him. While I was being told off by my mother, my stepfather would sit there and point and laugh behind my mother's back.

It was some months before my mother caught him doing it, and she exploded! I remember her crying and apologizing to me for thinking I was a liar. I don't remember much about being a kid, I mostly remember things that happened at school or somewhere else, don't remember too much about home life, this kind of thing can really stuff up your head. Talking to a professional is helpful, and speaking to people who have been through the same thing is also great; it makes you feel better to speak with someone who understands. Hope things get better for you soon

 

[Airlie]

I cant actually say ive experienced mental abuse to the point i would seek atention from when i was five and my sisters ripped the legs off my teddy bear until i was 19 and went 12 rounds with my father for the last beer.

My mum stiched

his arm, legs, nose and ear back on. I love my mum.

 

[Black.Rabbit]

No, you don't you only get 12 and trust me they get used up pretty fast.

I have been on it for years, I always get 18, I have to go back after every 6 sessions and if you have a chronic condition you are eligible for 18 sessions. It's better than nothing.

A supportive network around you helps, but it's not like the Mental health plan will be completely useless without a supportive network. I have come from the gutters of hell to where I am now (actually happy and stable) and had no support at all. All you need to do is find the right psychologist and work with them. It's not easy, but it's definetly doable!!