favourite comedians and funny quotes

[AshleighMarie]

Hey guys! I want to see some more stand up! who are ur favourite comedians? Also what'd ur favourite quotes??

I love DYLAN MORAN & RICKY GERVAIS. so good. I'm seeing dylan moran in about 2 and a half months black books is the best.

"When did you ever hear of a child not in need? 'Oh that's enough jam tart for me, I'll just go now and clean the toilets.'"

On drugs: "I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I'm not expecting it."

"Vodka! That's a child's drink, why am I drinking this stupid drink, oh and why am I on a traffic island?"
:lol:
"I'm a vegetarian, well I'm not hardcore because I eat meat, but only because I like the taste, and I hate vegetables on a personal level so I'm not too good!"

 

[Braidotti]

Danny Bhoy, Jimmy Carr, are both funny as.

 

[SYNeR]

Bill Hicks, hands down.
Also, George Carlin.

 

[AshleighMarie]

Bill Hicks, hands down.
Also, George Carlin.

george carlin. genius. Love his quotes on religion

 

[saximus]

Tim Minchin is my favourite at the moment

 

[Tristan]

Eddie Izzard is pretty funny as evidance by this stop animation to one of his stand up skits

[video=youtube;Sv5iEK-IEzw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sv5iEK-IEzw[/video]

 

[FusionMorelia]

Kat Williams and good old Billy Connelly, cant ever go past Eddie Murphy- delirious and Richard Pryor
Ron White from blue collar comedy and russle brand all very good stand up dvds

 

[mmafan555]

Most Favorite: Carlin, Hicks, Chris Rock

Least favorite: :Leary...He sucks and is a joke stealer and a complete tool

 

[leighroy6]

carl barron is my favourite, he's got a new stand up tour i think i'd recommend seeing that...quote "do u ever forget your gunna die one day then u remember and it kind of ruins ya day? *whistling to himself and remembers* ohh **** whats the point of doing anything if ur just gunna die!!" lol

 

[SamNabz]

How has no one said Arj Barker yet??

 

[Trench]

Tim Hawkins and my brother

 

[abnrmal91]

Favorite quote for me is from Pulp Fiction -Jules 'Ezekiel 25 17 The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides with the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and good will shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon those with great vengeance and with furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know that my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.'

 

[sarah_m]

Danny Bhoy, Carl Barron and Adam Hills!!

 

[Trouble]

Adam Hills, Tim Minchin, Eddie Murphey, and of course, Robin Williams!!

 

[Snakewoman]

Tim Minchin is my favourite at the moment

I like him too, I like his lullaby.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESFANzZTdYM

 

[Cockney_Red]

Winston Churchill.........." Mr Churchill, you are drunk!....Yes madam, and you are ugly, but in the morning,I will be sober"

 

[Specks]

Jim breur
YouTube, Jim breur alcohol and you will see one of the funniest acts ever, would someone mind posting the link cause I can't on my phone
also Carl barron is a dead set legend,saw him live for his third series. So much better than DVD

 

[lazylizzy]

CARL BARRON!!!. quote.. " i met a girl who said i wouldnt date you even if you were the last person on earth.. i said, if i was the last person on eath, you wouldnt be here to reject me."

 

[kawasakirider]

carl barron is my favourite, he's got a new stand up tour i think i'd recommend seeing that...quote "do u ever forget your gunna die one day then u remember and it kind of ruins ya day? *whistling to himself and remembers* ohh **** whats the point of doing anything if ur just gunna die!!" lol

I like Carl Barron, but not that quote... It happens to me all the time

"Would you care for an orange juice?" "Only if it needed me" lol

Chris Lilly is pretty funny.

 

[bigfella77]

Julia Gillard. What a clown.