i_LoVe_AnImAlS
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jun 10, 2008
- Messages
- 552
- Reaction score
- 0
just wondering what funny e-mails people have recieved looking through the "stupid questions some people ask thread" gave me the idea.
anyway heres some to start off.........................they can be question type of e-mail too if you know what i mean??
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive]
Things you know you want to do at K-mart
[/FONT]
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive]> > Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.[/FONT]
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive]> > Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares".... and see what happens.[/FONT]
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive]> > Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layby.[/FONT]
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive]> > Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.[/FONT]
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive]> > Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.[/FONT]
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive]> > When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive]> > Look right into the security camera; & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.[/FONT]
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive]> > While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.[/FONT]
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive]>> Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.[/FONT]
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive]> > 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive]> > When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive]> > Go into a fitting room and shut the door [/FONT]
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive]>>and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here![/FONT]
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive]> > Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive]6 truths of life
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive]1. You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Geneva, Arial, Sans-serif]2. All idiots, after reading the first truth try it[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Geneva, Arial, Sans-serif]3. The first truth is a lie[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Geneva, Arial, Sans-serif]4. You're smiling now because you're an idiot[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Geneva, Arial, Sans-serif]5. You soon will forward this to another idiot[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive][FONT=Verdana, Geneva, Arial, Sans-serif]6. There's still a stupid smile on your face[/FONT]
[/FONT]
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive][FONT=Verdana, Geneva, Arial, Sans-serif]If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour
(Don't try this at home,maybe at work)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the..?!)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm......)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
( If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
( I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
Read out loud the text inside the triangle below.
?
More than likely you said, "A bird in the bush," and........
if this IS what YOU said, then you failed to see
that the word THE is repeated twice!
Sorry, look again.
Next, let's play with some words.
What do you see?
In black you can read the word GOOD, in white the word EVIL (inside each black letter is a white letter). It's all very physiological too, because it visualize the concept that good can't exist without evil (or the absence of good is evil ).
Now, what do you see?
You may not see it at first, but the white spaces read the word optical, the blue landscape reads the word illusion. Look again! Can you see why this painting is called an optical illusion?
What do you see here?
This one is quite tricky!
The word TEACH reflects as LEARN.
Last one.
What do you see?
You probably read the word ME in brown, but.......
when you look through ME
you will see
YOU!
Do you need to look again?
Test Your Brain
This is really cool. The second one is amazing so please read all the way though.
ALZHEIMER' EYE TEST
Count every " F" in the following text:
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI
FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...
(SEE BELOW)
HOW MANY ?
WRONG, THERE ARE 6 -- no joke.
READ IT AGAIN !
Really, go Back and Try to find the 6 F's before you scroll down.
The reasoning behind is further down.
The brain cannot process "OF".
Incredible or what? Go back and look again!!
Anyone who counts all 6 "F's" on the first go is a genius.
Three is normal, four is quite rare.
[/FONT]
[/FONT]
anyway heres some to start off.........................they can be question type of e-mail too if you know what i mean??
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive]
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive]> > Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.[/FONT]
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive]> > Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares".... and see what happens.[/FONT]
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive]> > Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layby.[/FONT]
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive]> > Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.[/FONT]
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive]> > Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.[/FONT]
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive]> > When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive]> > Look right into the security camera; & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.[/FONT]
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive]> > While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.[/FONT]
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive]>> Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.[/FONT]
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive]> > 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive]> > When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive]> > Go into a fitting room and shut the door [/FONT]
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive]>>and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here![/FONT]
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive]> > Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive]6 truths of life
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive]1. You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Geneva, Arial, Sans-serif]2. All idiots, after reading the first truth try it[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Geneva, Arial, Sans-serif]3. The first truth is a lie[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Geneva, Arial, Sans-serif]4. You're smiling now because you're an idiot[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Geneva, Arial, Sans-serif]5. You soon will forward this to another idiot[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive][FONT=Verdana, Geneva, Arial, Sans-serif]6. There's still a stupid smile on your face[/FONT]
[/FONT]
[FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive][FONT=Verdana, Geneva, Arial, Sans-serif]If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour
(Don't try this at home,maybe at work)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the..?!)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm......)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
( If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
( I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
Read out loud the text inside the triangle below.
?
More than likely you said, "A bird in the bush," and........
if this IS what YOU said, then you failed to see
that the word THE is repeated twice!
Sorry, look again.
Next, let's play with some words.
What do you see?
In black you can read the word GOOD, in white the word EVIL (inside each black letter is a white letter). It's all very physiological too, because it visualize the concept that good can't exist without evil (or the absence of good is evil ).
Now, what do you see?
You may not see it at first, but the white spaces read the word optical, the blue landscape reads the word illusion. Look again! Can you see why this painting is called an optical illusion?
What do you see here?
This one is quite tricky!
The word TEACH reflects as LEARN.
Last one.
What do you see?
You probably read the word ME in brown, but.......
when you look through ME
you will see
YOU!
Do you need to look again?
Test Your Brain
This is really cool. The second one is amazing so please read all the way though.
ALZHEIMER' EYE TEST
Count every " F" in the following text:
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI
FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...
(SEE BELOW)
HOW MANY ?
WRONG, THERE ARE 6 -- no joke.
READ IT AGAIN !
Really, go Back and Try to find the 6 F's before you scroll down.
The reasoning behind is further down.
The brain cannot process "OF".
Incredible or what? Go back and look again!!
Anyone who counts all 6 "F's" on the first go is a genius.
Three is normal, four is quite rare.
[/FONT]
[/FONT]
Last edited:
