I don't recommend....

[Defective]

- having a Lumbar Puncture when the local doesn't work
- trying to function on 15mins sleep
- playing uno in the Emergency Department against a Doctor on break...got my butt kicked
- watching Nurse Jackie in Hospital
- wearing slippers after its been raining outside
- Hospital food
- having a seizure infront of 2 neurology doctors....it was interesting


this is kinda like the 'you know you're a reptile keeper when...' but its not for reptiles...and it's what you don't recommend doing one.

 

[Bel03]

This is a good idea......& from my past experiences i have many 'not a good idea's' that i could list, but i will keep it simple. I dont recommend putting presents from santa together unless the door is locked......i also wouldnt recommend doing the 'nude run' to your clothes line.....u just never know when your neighbours decide to sell & have an open house! | mmmm i could have sworn my fences were more private!)

 

[Snakewoman]

i also wouldnt recommend doing the 'nude run' to your clothes line.....u just never know when your neighbours decide to sell & have an open house!

Oh no! LOL.

Some ones from my childhood:

Squeezing the front brakes of your new mountain bike too hard... over the handle bars you go!

Running in the house at 2 1/2 years old, falling and smacking your eye against a door frame

taking your feet of the pedals of a bicycle when you were learning to ride without training wheels and were told to keep your feet on the pedals... getting all the skin scraped off your knees on the road isn't fun.

Back answering your mother when she's still in ear shot

allowing your mother to brush you hair when she's angry

Calling your stepfather a basket... he misheard what I said and I copped it! (oh the joys of childhood)

Later in life:

Riding a huffy slider at high speed down the street... the brakes fell off :shock:

Agreeing to go on the back of your friend's motorcycle... we went along a very bumpy back road and I got bounced up off the seat... thank goodness for sissy bars!!!

Buying a motorcycle off a woman who turned out to be crazy... she's now in prison for trying to hire a hit-man to kill her husband :shock::shock::shock:

Not getting to know too many people. I've been to 20 funerals in the last 5 years :cry:

Not stirring up your cat... he always gets you back and his teeth are long and sharp lol.

 

[Nighthawk]

For parents....
*Assuming the kids are quiet because they're behaving...
*Putting your trust in routines being infallible: it's just when you think you'll be safe to make an appointment, you won't be...
*Leaving your four-year old to bathe themselves. Everything BUT the child will be soaked and sparkly clean when you get back.
*Opening a packet of chips five minutes after 'the kids are quiet enough to be asleep'. Trust me, they won't be and they have superpower ears when it comes to chip packets.
*Taking a day off the housework believing your husband can handle the kids and the dishes. They'll run the first opportunity they get and you won't find your colander for over a week, and those kids will hunt you down like a dog.
*Plan anything 'fun'. Fun stuff happens unplanned or not at all.
*Think for one second that paint will stay on the paper and off the walls.
*Tell ANYONE about any special talents your children have or even try to get photographic evidence. As soon as you do your child will play dumb as ****** and make a liar out of you. Eg: "Little (insert name here) has learnt the alphabet! Check this out, hey (insert name here), show (insert person here) how well you can say the alphabet!"... "Blup? (picks nose and wanders off)" Then as soon as you get in the car to leave they'll sing it over and over and over.........
*Make any important phonecalls: the level of background noise and demands increase exponentially with the importance of the call. If you get one from a telemarketer they'll be perfect angels, but get a phonecall with precise and important instructions involved (or those lovely voice activated ones) and your angels become banshees with insatiable desires for biscuits.

For those who haven't had kids... it's really not that bad

 

[Kelly86]

breaking up a dog fight with your hands lol

 

[abnrmal91]

Nightshift. It sucks what's worse is when have tafe before a nightshift like tonight. It turns a 8hr shift into 16hr shift. Don't start till 11pm but have to leave home at 4 in the arvo. Couldn't recommend it to anyone. I wouldn't recommend getting a nuerosurgeon to cut you hair either. It's not a good look.

 

[snakeluvver]

- Faking sick to get off school, then going to the doctors to have them diagnose your "sickness" and having them think its serious. (I was 8 and trust me you did not want to see my mums face when I told her I was just faking it :shock
- Eating a whole packet of Warheads in one go. My mouth was peeling for a week and I couldnt eat anything.
- Trying to backflip off a boat. Its a wonder I didnt break my arm.
- Feeling sorry for the "weird" kid at school and being nice to him, only to have him follow you round for the rest of your school life and think your best friends.

And a reptile related one:
-Poking a big female pink tongue to see if shes alie while shes brumating. Its a wonder I escaped with all my fingers intact.

Oh that reminds me
-Poking your mum to see if shes alive while shes asleep. Its a wonder I escaped with my face intact.

 

[Nighthawk]

- Oh that reminds me
-Poking your mum to see if shes alive while shes asleep. Its a wonder I escaped with my face intact.

LMAO A mother after my own heart... or sleeping habits. It's a precious commodity after you have children though, in both our defence...

 

[MathewB]

- Feeling sorry for the "weird" kid at school and being nice to him, only to have him follow you round for the rest of your school life and think your best friends.

This has happened and it's not fun. Especially when said 'Kid' comes over to your house after he moves away which was 4years ago....and he moved to melbourne

-I don't recomend sticking your leg into a bush while riding a bike only to find out that it is in fact a bloody rosebush.

-Running across a level railway crossing when the beams are down and the Flying Scotsman is coming towards you.

-Tripping over and crashing spectaculary on a level railway crossing when the beams are down and the Flying Scotsman is coming towards you.

 

[K3nny]

dangling the albino mice you just got as pets on top of your sleeping mum by the tail and going "mum look what i got!"

she will wake up

there will be screaming

you will see her move in such speed and acrobatic ability like never before

you WILL be forced to give them up effective immediately

 

[fishunter]

*Drunkenly headbutting a sleeping bull because your mates said it would be a good idea.
*Climbing a 50m vertical cliff with full scuba gear on because you thought you could save time.
*Picking up a wild adult lace monitor from the front (Oh how young and mis-informed i was as a teenager)
*Driving your feroza in a 1.5m deep creek because it "looked alot shallower then you thought"
*Drunkenly trying to feed a wild German Shepard you found whilst camping at the Watagans.
*Trying to wrestle the bream you just speared out of the mouth of a 7ft wobbygong and ending up losing your spear for your efforts.

Arh Shenanigans

 

[Crystal..Discus]

I also wouldnt recommend doing the 'nude run' to your clothes line.....u just never know when your neighbours decide to sell & have an open house!

Who hasn't done that once or twice? :lol: Learnt my lesson, always go with a towel around you...

 

[Fantazmic]

breaking up a dog fight with your hands lol

absolutely i was so fortunate i didnt have any lasting nerve damage......but i did have to have my hand reconstructed by a plastic surgeon......and no we didnt take any pics of it eeeeeeek but i can tell you i could almost see my middle knuckle i could definitely see the ligaments in my middle finger and the rest looked like what you get from the butchers

and of course I have a great big fat scar on my hand !!

 

[K3nny]

oh and letting your sister hold your new soft shell turtle (mind you this was overseas)
those 'cute little 20 cent sized turtles' have some major biting issues and incredibly long necks that CAN reach the posterior region
not to mention she jerked her hand and the poor thing got slamed on the sink, thank goodness he was fine...

+ not checking the pond surroundings for unwanted vermin, lost 17 baby catfishes in one day
++ keeping the 3 remaining catfish in an aquarium without a lid in your room (yes, yes, i know, i was 7 back then)
they'll jump out, they'll dry out, and by morning you'll have 3 shrimp shaped stiff fish... cue in crying

 

[PeppersGirl]

++ keeping the 3 remaining catfish in an aquarium without a lid in your room (yes, yes, i know, i was 7 back then)
they'll jump out, they'll dry out, and by morning you'll have 3 shrimp shaped stiff fish... cue in crying

:lol:

Or trying to pick up live escapee catfish with bare hands... never knew about those top spines!

 

[Renenet]

Eating cooked yet slightly pink chicken in Indonesia (or anywhere else) is a seriously bad idea. So is hanging on to a wriggling kitten. It turned out to be wriggling for the same reason little children with their legs crossed do.

Moving on from bodily plumbing to intercultural embarrassment: following a crowd of people into a town hall in a small Dutch town for what you thought was a tour, only to find you've crashed a wedding, is not recommended.

Oh, and neither is riding a bicycle with semi-flat tyres down a hill. For me it ended in some kind of thorny bush.

 

[Black.Rabbit]

- Getting chicken pox as an adult

- forgetting to put knickers on when you're wearing a dress on a windy day (I was 7)

- eating cat biscuits... they're too salty (...again, 7)

- Getting blind drunk on your wedding day, to the point that your partner is holding you up on your first dance, (although he wasn't far behind).

.. I have many many more but my brain is mush at the moment.

 

[Darlyn]

Taking antihystamines you bought in Bali just before going to work, WOW what a trip

 

[SteveNT]

working with Darlyn when she's just taken antihystamines she bought in Bali..........

 

[Defective]

...eating twisties like a boss when wisedom teeth are playing up...Damnit!!
...reading to much about a procedure or test- less you know the less scary it is!
...assuming that even when you say to a doctor 'yeah i know' that they'll shut up, because they won't (in regards to telling me the risk factors of having an LP done when i had one done only 3wks ago)
...ringing a hospital and telling them to ring your neuro because he's on-call and to do it now...they don't understand that....STAT is the only language they understand (zomg)