'Rents dying

[mr_muesli]

Who here has lost one/both of their parents???I havent myself, but my dad smokes alot and is always coughing, plus he is going through a rough patch at the moment, sometimes depressed, always swearing, withdrawn a bit, and im worried something might happen it the near future.

So i was just wondering how you guys have dealed with it, and how do you live day by day without them??? Especially if any teens here have had a parent die, how do you guys make it through school, life etc.... Do you feel you never told them you loved them enough?

Sorry about the sad post!

 

[falconboy]

Interesting post.

I'm not a teenager but will reply anyway.

You may find your dad isn't as depressed as you think. Adults have a lot more pressure and responsibility than you youngens, and life isn't always perfect. He may just well have other things on his mind.

You know the best thing to do if you are worried about him? Ask him to sit down with you and talk to him. If he is busy, tell him 'this is really important dad, I'm worried about you'. Just tell him exactly what you are feeling (and that you love him) and that you are concerned. Forget this masculine bull, just say it! (hey, cry if you can, he'll sit up and take notice)

If things aren't great, you sitting down with him may just remind him of the really important things and may well 'perk him up' a bit. I'm sure he will appreciate it.

The smoking is a problem. I too cough my guts up, mainly in the morning before or during my 'breakfast' (coffee and ciggie). They are killers and we should stop. Giving up smoking is VERY hard, I've battled with it for years.

As for thoughts on my parents, now they are getting older (in their 60's) loosing them is a worry since I am very close to my parents. I'm sure there will be a very big hole when it happens.

Good luck mate.

 

[Mrs I]

My mum was diagnosed terminal 4 years ago, they gave her 3 - 5 years roughly.

My mum is my best friend, I seriously dont know how i will cope when she does go.

Live everyday as your last cause you never know when it may be, there can never be too many I Love Yous' or Hugs.

My mum has the theory that any of us can go anytime, which is true, we are all dying. Or could have an accident.

Her favourtie saying is Good Health is merely just the shortest way possible to die.

I dont know what else to say !

I little lost in thought !

Mrs I

xxx

 

[user 270]

I was 13 when dad died (1974), 15 when mom died (1976) (both of liver cancer). I'm 46 going on 47 now. When dad died I bottled up my feelings. BAD MOVE!! We were told by the doctors, " it could be a day, a week, or a year." He lasted a bit over a week. I was called to the school office and told to get off the bus at an earlier stop (12 miles from home) and go to a church minister's house.I knew that the minister would not be home and was told to make myself at home. After the minister and my family arrived, I lasted until my family was backing out of the driveway before busting into tears. NEVER be afraid to cry!!

With mom, she had herself checked out by the doctor soon after dad died and was given around 2 years to live. When the time came, we got a phone call from the hospital at 3:00am. The phone was right outside my bedroom door. I knew what the call was about even before it was answered, and my biggest fear was that I would have to answer it. I was relieved when I heard movement from the other members in the family. The following morning my brother came up behind me and said, "You didn't have to go to school today." To that I replied (in a stern voice), "I'm going!" I went to school that day and it wasn't until I got on the school bus that afternoon when I said to a kid who knew the family, "I don't have a mother."

I was more open with my feelings when mom died but I have grown up fiercely (sp?) independent.

Disclaimer: I have left out some detail but have given my thoughts as a 13 y.o. and a 15 y.o. respectfully. The infomation I have given is how I remember it. Remember, I am now 46 y.o. We lived 30 miles from school.

I hope this helps.

 

[Reptile_Boy]

Who here has lost one/both of their parents???I havent myself, but my dad smokes alot and is always coughing, plus he is going through a rough patch at the moment, sometimes depressed, always swearing, withdrawn a bit, and im worried something might happen it the near future.

So i was just wondering how you guys have dealed with it, and how do you live day by day without them??? Especially if any teens here have had a parent die, how do you guys make it through school, life etc.... Do you feel you never told them you loved them enough?

Sorry about the sad post!

dude i know how you feel my dad is the same and i am worried about him

 

[mertle]

I lost my dad at 22, he was my best friend,

Talk to your dad, that's the most important thing you can do. And just make sure your family know how much they mean to you.

I still miss my dad and he went 16 years ago now, mmmmmmm best I be off, crying is coming.

 

[Fester]

Both of my parents died a few years back. They were in their 80's, so a good inning. But I still do miss them heaps. I was devestated when each one of them left, but as mum used to say "time heals", and in a way she was right. You do get over the death and eventually get on with your own life, but it doesn't mean you ever forget them. I have lots of very good memories and thousands of photos and videos to look back on. When I was in my teens (I know. a long time ago!!) and looking back I probably didn't appreciate my parents like I should have, but as you grow up you realise they are special. Mr_Muesli it would be tragic to lose your dad at such a young age. Maybe he will pull out of it, maybe something is troubling him, try talking to him.

Cheers, Fester

 

[mandytroy]

My partners dad died when my partner was 23 and he was 47 we were all very close to him he had a heart attack so it was so unexpected. We had just had our first child who was only 4 months old and Ron (my father in law) just loved him so much. Every time my son saw his poppy he would instantly smile and make noises for Ron to pick him up.My partner bottled all his emotions up trying to be strong for his mum who was now a widow at 42 so it hit him REALLY hard about 2 months later.One of the things my partner couldnt handle was my son loved his poppy so much and his poppy loved him so much and now he doesnt remember who poppy was because he was so young when poppy died.We have photos of poppy and he knows its his poppy but cant remember him.1st easter, 1st birthday, 1st word, 1st step everything that happened in the first year of my sons life was great but allways sad as poppy wasnt there to see it. Its been nearly 3 years since he passed now and its still hard we all think about him constantly and miss him so bad. I still have both of my parents and cant imagine loosing either one of them loosing my father in law was bad enough.Make sure you always tell people close to you that you love them because you never know when they will be gone.