You think english is easy?

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da_donkey

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:rolleyes::rolleyes:
The bandage was wound around the wound.
The farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
We must polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.:lol::lol:
 
And if quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
 
well to add more ENGLISH 'NEW"words and there meaning...
>
>
> * SALAD DODGER.
> An excellent phrase for an overweight person.
>
> * SWAMP-DONKEY
> A deeply unattractive person.
>
> * TESTICULATING.
> Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.
>
> * BLAMESTORMING.
> Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a
> project
> failed, and who was responsible.
>
> * SEAGULL MANAGER.
> A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and
> then
> leaves.
>
> * SALMON DAY..
> The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get
> screwed and die.
>
> * CUBE FARM.
> An office filled with cubicles.
>
> * MERE CATTING
> When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's
> heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. (This also applies to
> applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)
>
> * SINBAD.
> Single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.
>
> * AEROPLANE BLONDE.
> One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.
>
> * PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE.
> The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to
> work again.
>
> * OH - NO SECOND.
> That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made
> a
> BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all').
>
> * GREYHOUND.
>
> A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
>
> * JOHNNY-NO-STARS.
> A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works
> in
> a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars
> that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of
> training.
>
> * MILLENNIUM DOMES.
> The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from
> the
> outside, but there's actually nothing in there worth seeing.
>
> * MONKEY BATH .
> A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: 'Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa!
> Aa!
> Aa!'.
>
> * MYSTERY BUS.
> The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet
> after your 10th scooner, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the
> pub
> is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.(WONDER HOW MANY HAVE SEEN THIS HAPPEN)
>
> * TART FUEL.
> Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.
>
> * KNOB JOCKEY
>no need to explain this one .
>
>
> * PICASSO BUM.
> A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got
> 4
> butt cheeks.
 
Did you know that the english language currently has 999999 words acccording to the global language monitor and it is looking like the millionth will be an internet word like noob or defriend.

But being cereal here i'm technically an ESL teacher and english has to beo ne of the hardest languages to learn.
 
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Did you know that the english language currently has 999999 words acccording to the global language monitor and it is looking like the millionth will be an internet word like noob or defriend.

But being cereal here i'm technically an ESL teacher and english has to beo ne of the hardest languages to learn.

Hardest language to learn and definately the hardest to teach!!
 
I love the english language :D It's so fun to write creatively in (stories, etc). It's all about context ;)
 
Be thankful. We wouldnt be speaking English if the Dutch had have colonised us or if the Japanese hadnt have failed in their invasion attempt....
it would be pickled herring or raw fish for dinner tonite...
 
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