The Rock is dead.

[PilbaraPythons]

Oh no its started :roll:

 

[zulu]

re The

Yeh any port in the storm,the paddock next to me mums house had a flock of shhep in it an some were serxuarlly assaulted by a bloke wearing a black rugby union football jumper.Turned out to be a homesick kiwi and he got of with good behaviour cause he offered to marry the shafted sheep

 

[Pike01]

50,000 Kiwis meet in Eden Park for a "Kiwis Are Not Stupid" Convention.

Helen Clark says, "We are all here today to prove to the world thet Kiwis are not stupid. Ken we hev a volunteer ?"
Carlos Spencer gingerly works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.
Helen asks him, "What uz fufteen plus fufteen?"
After fufteen or 20 seconds Carlos says, "Eighteen!"
Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then all 50,000 Kiwis start chanting,

"GUV HUM ANOTHER CHANCE! GUV HUM ANOTHER CHANCE!"

Helen says, "Well sunce we've gone to the trouble of gitting 50,000 of you un one place end we have the world wide priss end global broadcast media here, I thunk we ken guv hum another chance."
So she asks, "What uz sivven plus sivven?"
After nearly 30 seconds he eventually says, "Ninety!"
Helen is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh - everyone is disheartened.
Carlos starts crying and the 50,000 Kiwis begin to yell and wave their hands shouting,

"GUV HUM ANOTHER CHANCE! GUV HUM ANOTHER CHANCE!"

Helen, unsure whether or not she is doing more harm than damage, eventually says, "Ok! Ok! Just one more chance...What uz two plus two?"
Carlos closes his eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says,
"Four!"
Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 50,000 Kiwis jump to their feet, wave their arms, stamp their feet and scream...

"GUV HUM ANOTHER CHANCE! GUV HUM ANOTHER CHANCE!"

 

[Pike01]

Sorry had to do it, had it emailed to me this week.

 

[zulu]

re The

LMAO Pike :lol:

 

[buck]

A Kiwi walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm.

His wife is lying in bed reading.

The Kiwi says, "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache."

Wife replies, "I think you'll find that is a sheep."

The Kiwi replies, "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep."

 

[Retic]

All I will say to the Kiwi's out there is JUST REMEMBER THE RUGBY :wink:
They're only jealous because they are not good looking enough to pick up sheep, they have to settle for kangaroos. :lol:

 

[HAVAGO]

Yes Dave, I think its called a lobotomy. They try to lower our intelligence so its closer to their level. But it still leaves us kiwis with more brains than your average ozzy, sorry all ozzies. Ha ha.

I wouldnt get too carried away there Rob. I can think of a certain KIWI up north(im sure you know who i mean)which i would have to say is the opposite to your above thread. :shock:

 

[michaelh]

Jason if you are going to bring mud into the sandpit and throw it around why not do it in your own sandpit?

Curly

 

[Retic]

I wish you lot would stick to nicknames, whos Jason ?

 

[TrueBlue]

Havago,- yes there are a few numbnuts in every race, but with kiwis they tend to be the exception not the rule.
Pike, THATS NOT very nice. ha ha.
Boa, love me blue does.

 

[Retic]

Sorry, run that by me again :?:

Boa, love me blue does.

 

[zen]

Kiwi Jokes

Thanks for passing on the the laugh Pike :lol: :lol:

Warmed me up for Buck's belly laugh :lol: :lol: :lol:

Cheers

 

[TrueBlue]

boa,- you should know my spelling sux by now, female greys, often refered to as blue doe's.

 

[Gilleni]

Boa, love me blue does.

Hahaha, Who exactly is Blue?

 

[Retic]

But can you catch them ?

boa,- you should know my spelling sux by now, female greys, often refered to as blue doe's.

 

[zen]

Female grey's are called blue doe's eh!
Fascinating stuff.
You're a wealth of info Rob.

And I believe female Red Kangaroos are called 'blue flyers'.
I'd better check that, if I can find my roo book.
Better ask Skippy!
If I can catch her that is, she's always playing hard to get! :wink: :lol:

 

[TrueBlue]

Boa,- not any more, getting to dam old.
gill,- every second persons blue heeler.
zen,- yes they tend to be a bit shyer than sheep.

 

[The Rock]

Hey trueblue, whats the guts mate!!, Im not dead Ive just been fishing ya mongrel, hell who do you think you are coming here and trying to kill me.!!! Cant trust anyone these days not even my other self.

 

[zulu]

re The

Hey trueblue, whats the guts mate!!, Im not dead Ive just been fishing ya mongrel, hell who do you think you are coming here and trying to kill me.!!! Cant trust anyone these days not even my other self.

Get back in your grave you mongrel and behave yourself!! Liedown and turn the light off!! :lol: