CrystalMoon
Reptile Lover
Ok.... have had a whirlwind romance, have even been proposed to(divorce needs to dry first)
I have severe trust/rejection issues..... not about fidelity but about all the touchy emotional stuff
and on how wantable I am(long story, too messy) Now I am sooo quick to think the worst and let
fly at will without thinking things through....this drives me nuts and my wanna be partners into
confusion. Latest problem, I went into melt down cause new guy deleted his fb profile(had good
reason, as it turns out) I took it as him fleeing taking my fragile heart with him.... Sooooo I have
not only said some pretty evil, viperous and plain nasty things to him(via the only email addy I had)
because we are on 7 hour difference time zones, and he is out on patrol at any time of the day/night
it can be 24-36 hours before we have contact again.... I also sent an equally vicious message to
his best friend...........ooohhhh I knowwwww I am cooked, however I have apologised profusely
to both offered to do anything except push-ups as amends/punishment(could go a good frisking)
My delima is, normally I am rational and sensible(sort of) and such a happy person. I need ideas
on how to a)stop becoming an emotional tsunami hell bent on destruction b)Get past afore mentioned
issues(strategies) c)How do I go about explaining to Man of the species that I am not really unstable
I just need patience? with out going into a full blown history(hate that)
Fellow APS'rs I really need your help cause I dont have a family base I can chat to and ask
and my Bestest friend has darnwell gone on holidays(she is gonna kill me)
Yours disasterously
Crystal
UPDATE:- Well it is now 2.42 am here 7.42pm there in Iraq My Captain is home safe and sound
from patrol. And I have mangaged to avert disaster for now..... all is well on the home front
This is one very relieved and happy Crystal signing out
till tomorrow... thanx to you my cyber Family you have all been a huge help XXXX
C
I have severe trust/rejection issues..... not about fidelity but about all the touchy emotional stuff
and on how wantable I am(long story, too messy) Now I am sooo quick to think the worst and let
fly at will without thinking things through....this drives me nuts and my wanna be partners into
confusion. Latest problem, I went into melt down cause new guy deleted his fb profile(had good
reason, as it turns out) I took it as him fleeing taking my fragile heart with him.... Sooooo I have
not only said some pretty evil, viperous and plain nasty things to him(via the only email addy I had)
because we are on 7 hour difference time zones, and he is out on patrol at any time of the day/night
it can be 24-36 hours before we have contact again.... I also sent an equally vicious message to
his best friend...........ooohhhh I knowwwww I am cooked, however I have apologised profusely
to both offered to do anything except push-ups as amends/punishment(could go a good frisking)
My delima is, normally I am rational and sensible(sort of) and such a happy person. I need ideas
on how to a)stop becoming an emotional tsunami hell bent on destruction b)Get past afore mentioned
issues(strategies) c)How do I go about explaining to Man of the species that I am not really unstable
I just need patience? with out going into a full blown history(hate that)
Fellow APS'rs I really need your help cause I dont have a family base I can chat to and ask
and my Bestest friend has darnwell gone on holidays(she is gonna kill me)
Yours disasterously
Crystal
UPDATE:- Well it is now 2.42 am here 7.42pm there in Iraq My Captain is home safe and sound
from patrol. And I have mangaged to avert disaster for now..... all is well on the home front
This is one very relieved and happy Crystal signing out
till tomorrow... thanx to you my cyber Family you have all been a huge help XXXX
C
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