Funny things kids say

[redbellybite]

I like the one about the woman in the bank ,her 3 year old girl was running amuck so when she told her daughter off for the 10th time and was ignored again ,she settled to threaten her with ''If you dont start to behave yourself,I will be telling Nanna how naughty you have been ..." obviously thinking this will do the trick ,but the little one yelled on top note "If you tell Nanna ,I will tell Nanna I seen you kissing daddy on the willy!!!"....well everyone in the bank just cracked up laughing and the woman dragged her little girl out of the bank red faced ...

 

[smigga]

A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.

'You know what?' says the 7 year old, 'I think it's about time we started
swearing.'

The 4 year old nods his head in approval, so the 7 year old says, 'When we
go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you swear after me,
ok?'

'Ok' the 4 year old, agrees with enthusiasm..

The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 7 year old what he wants for
breakfast.

'Oh, s##t mum, I don't know, I suppose I'll have some Coco Pops'

WHACK!! He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up,
and ran upstairs crying his eyes out.

She looked at the 4 year old and asked with a stern voice, ' And what do
YOU want for breakfast, young man?'

'I don't know,' he blubbers, 'but it won't be f###ing Coco Pops'

 

[Snakewoman]

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister.
After a while he asked: ‘Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and
one for cold milk?’


MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she
was so old she didn’t remember any more. Melanie said, ‘If you don’t
remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to
six.’


BRITTANY (age 4) had an ear ache and wanted a pain killer.. She tried
in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her
Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she’d have to open it for
her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: ‘How does it know
it’s me?’


SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. ‘Please
don’t give me this juice again,’ she said, ‘It makes my teeth cough.’


DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: ‘How much do I
cost?’


CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried When his Mom asked
what was troubling him, he replied, ‘I don’t know what’ll happen with
this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in it?’


MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and
kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked
his dad: ‘Why is he whispering in her mouth?’


TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather
wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then
asked, ‘Why doesn’t your skin fit your face?’

 

[snakeluvver]

I like the one about the woman in the bank ,her 3 year old girl was running amuck so when she told her daughter off for the 10th time and was ignored again ,she settled to threaten her with ''If you dont start to behave yourself,I will be telling Nanna how naughty you have been ..." obviously thinking this will do the trick ,but the little one yelled on top note "If you tell Nanna ,I will tell Nanna I seen you kissing daddy on the willy!!!"....well everyone in the bank just cracked up laughing and the woman dragged her little girl out of the bank red faced ...

That has got to be the funniest thing I've heard in a while!!!!!!!

 

[snakeluvver]

My brother (at the age of three) when my mum was pregnant wanted to know where babies came from, since my mum is an OB nurse she told him the truth, matter of factly with pictures and all. When another little girl at school told her classmates that her mom said you go to the hospital and pick up your baby, my brother corrected her with, "No my mom told me they come out the "gina" if they fit and get cut out if they don't"... - mum got some phone calls after that one. :lol:

 

[damian83]

great work kids mine are just as bad as that

 

[JoceyFisch]

When is it okay to kiss someone?

When they’re rich.

[FONT=&quot]Pam, age 7[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]

Oh Pam.. a girl after my own heart!


I'll never forget when my little brother was about 5 and he was telling me how he had a girlffriend at school but didn't want to be her boyfriend anymore so he "dropper her... on her head"

 

[Snakewoman]

I'll never forget when my little brother was about 5 and he was telling me how he had a girlffriend at school but didn't want to be her boyfriend anymore so he "dropper her... on her head"

Lol,

kids are so funny :lol: When my brother was in primary school, he found one of my mum's bras. He went up to her and asked "what are these mum, are these undies for your boobs?" :lol:

 

[evilj]

Good thread hahah and this reminded me of a bloke that was teaching his kid how to use a urinal the other day. The way it unfolded nearly made me fall in.
He was explaining how it all works to the young fella and set himself up beside him and the kids started to take his pants off completely. His old man was just like 'nah mate, just hang it out the front like this' and showed him how.

Man it was awesome. The young fella got it too. What a trooper.

 

[bigi]

My kid said to me last week, some people have vandalised the wall with graffety, theres a rocket with a bum under it.

 

[babba007]

My kid said to me last week, some people have vandalised the wall with graffety, theres a rocket with a bum under it.

I wish they could stay that innocent.

 

[Snakewoman]

I wish they could stay that innocent.

I agree... I would have stayed pretty innocent if it weren't for high school. The people there made it their mission to make sure that EVERYTHING was sexual... what the hell is wrong with people these days? I remember when I was in primary school, you could walk around the school with the teacher on yard duty and hold their hand without anyone thinking anything disgusting. These days a teacher can't even comfort a child who has fallen and hurt themselves... the world is becoming pretty ridiculous.