Practical jokes and so on........

[slim6y]

My friend... Terry Vernon... Weird ho you remember the names... When I was about 8 years old (oh, yeah, 32 years ago), poured out a teaspoon of Tobasco sauce and told me it was strawberry sauce. Of course I gulped it down...

That wasn't funny at all... I was 8... What a mean trick...

Well... (although officially this wasn't a trick) - when I was in my late 20s, I had got into container gardening and grown some beautiful rocket bell peppers (a type of capsicum). I didn't actually read the seed packet, I just liked the sound of them and they were good seed. We got the plants growing beautifully and they fruited with bountiful capsicums. I took one of the capsicums off, and, you know how good fresh produce can smell straight from your garden. It was beautiful. I couldn't wait to get it into my salad to serve with my yummy chicken dish.

So I chopped up the capsicum. It wasn't a large one, so I didn't do any nibbling (as you do) but thought I would savour it till I got to dinner. I then cut the carrots. And, I had heaps of carrots, so nibbling was allowed. The first carrot I cut up, saved myself the end... I ate it. Pheeetut! Yuck... Something wrong with this carrot!

So, I threw it out.

I got another carrot, cut it up and did the same thing, ate the last bit. Pheeeeeeeetut! Another bad carrot. What the hell is wrong with these carrots?

So I got another carrot and I took a bite of it to start. It was fine... So I cut it up. Went to bite the last bit (as usual)... Same thing as the other carrots....

Finally, my deep scientific brain clicked to something... The carrots are fine till they're cut... On the chopping board... The same chopping board that my fresh capsicum... Rocket Bell.... Hmmmmm... I got the seed packet, read it, and it stated, quite clearly, fiery hot, best as an ornamental.

So, I went back to my dinner duties and I said to my GF at the time... Man, you should try that capsicum. It's so nice! Here, have a piece.

Now - remember, I didn't actually eat a piece of the capsicum itself, I only ate the carrot that had been chopped on the same board.

Well... I've never seen anyone go so fast for milk in my life... I really shouldn't have laughed, because it was very very very very hot!

In fact, so hot, that actually just cutting it left burns all over my hands... That, I am not joking about!

I even asked some Indian friends if they wanted it - they joked and just said I was a stupid kiwi that couldn't handle my chillies... Well, apparently they couldn't either. They said they had to pickle them in vinegar before they could even go near them and even then they were too hot!

So - that's about it for my jokingness.... I got done by hot chilli when I was 8... and then... I only wished it was Terry Vernon eating that capsicum that night...

PS - Edit... I decided to hunt down Terry Vernon on Facebook.... Found him... God he looks good... Probably from not downing so many teaspoons of tabasco when he was a kid.... Well... Now my plan to get him back starts... Add him as a friend... Going to go visit him in Auckland at Christmas... Muwahahahaha... Payback is a female dog!

 

[Black.Rabbit]

just thought of a couple more...

when we were in high school we used to buy a dozen egg's, boil them and then sneak them back into the supermarket and put them back on the shelf... lmao...

We also used to go through the yellow pages and call all these places and send them to this guys house... we sent 1000 bricks, a tonne of sand, repair men, cleaning people, countless pizza's... Now I look back I feel terrible because as an adult I realise that people wasted their time and time means money etc...

We also used to jig school and go to shopping centres with laminated signs/bucket etc and pretend we were fundraising for the school... then just spend the money on whatever... never got caught.

 

[Matt74]

After a heavy afternoon of work Christmas "break up day" drinking all my mates ended up at my place to continue downing alcohol. It was the summer of 2000 and and about 10 of us had decided a couple of months before that we'd have a competition to see who could go the entire summer without having a drug or alcohol related chuck (ok, we were young and dumb I know). Only problem was one of our mates was known as an iron guts, he could eat and drink anything and never have a drama so we all decided if we were going to have a chance of beating him this night was gonna be it. We started having shots of any alcohol we could get our hands in the house making sure he always got more than us, we slipped double shots of vodka into his beers, tried everything but nothing was happening.

Then we pulled out an old bottle of black sambucca that had been hanging around for years, we started forcing lit shots into him, he must have had at least half a bottle but still nothing and we were back to having just beer to drink. That's when I walked into the kitchen to see one of the boys filling a shot glass up with 'down-to-earth' detergent. I started to protest it but then thought 'why not'.

When it was handed to him he drank it without even checking it, finishing with a foul sounding cough and burp and by this stage the other boys had started to catch on with one of em saying 'that wasn't detergent was it?' only to be greeted with childish giggles from me and my mate that pored it.

About 10 minutes later he had drool coming from his mouth that reached all the way to the ground and red swollen eyes with bubbles in his tears. Then we started to worry it might make him sick, so we started feeding him heaps of water and telling him to throw it up saying it wouldn't effect his standing in our little competition but the stubborn prick wouldn't do it. It went on for a few more hours, us tormenting him, him refusing to spew and us giving him more water. Finally he threw up down the front steps of the entrance to the house, it looked like someone had thrown a bucket of soapy water down the steps.

He ended up passing out on the couch, leaving us to continue drinking till daylight when one of the boys picked up the detergent bottle and decided to ring the 'poisons information' number on the back of it. He explained to the lady that answered that one of the boys had drunk a shot of their detergent, she asked how, he said by accident. She then said he will be alright just don't give him water. Apparently water froths the detergent up in your stomach and it can travel back up your esophagus and down into your lungs and drown you.

He ended up surviving, had severe kidney pains for a fortnight and, according to him, had no trouble passing a crap for a while. The entire night was recorded on video and it was hilarious viewing later when we realized he was gonna be ok. Over the years since he's got us all back with 'rorts' of one type or another.

 

[shell477]

About an hour later I noticed he had a strange look on his face then he mentioned something about how disgusting he felt now. Me and the Others burst out laughing. He then realised that he and he alone was wearing a nappy and he and he alone had just sat there and wet himself infront of his girlfriend and a group of mates

Cruel cruel man Beard....

BUT FUNNY!!!!

 

[damian83]

just thought of a couple more...

when we were in high school we used to buy a dozen egg's, boil them and then sneak them back into the supermarket and put them back on the shelf... lmao...

We also used to go through the yellow pages and call all these places and send them to this guys house... we sent 1000 bricks, a tonne of sand, repair men, cleaning people, countless pizza's... Now I look back I feel terrible because as an adult I realise that people wasted their time and time means money etc...

We also used to jig school and go to shopping centres with laminated signs/bucket etc and pretend we were fundraising for the school... then just spend the money on whatever... never got caught.

prank calls like ringing dolphin concreting asking how many dolphins per cubic meter lol what we did when we were younger

 

[Matt74]

Another one I remember was actually inflicted on one of the boys by the same mate (ill refer to him as 'mate' to keep his name anonymous) who pored the detergent shot. We used to spend alot of time drinking in coolangatta. The arvo/night would normally start off at twin towns services club where the drinks were cheap and the dogs, horses and pokies were within easy reach. We would then go into the main street of cooly later on to continue drinking. On one particular occasion the landscaping in the street outside twinies had just been revampted and the new little plants were easy to pull out, so we decided to start throwing them at each other. It was good fun till one of the boys, Troy, copped one in the face resulting in a blinding case of dirt in the eyes. The mate who threw it instantly ran over and grabbed him and started walking him over to the little fountain that used to be right next to the footpath across the road from twin towns (might still be there I don't know but it's only small). He told him to get on his knees and start washing his eyes out in the water, which Troy gratefully accepted. After a minute or two of washing my mate asked Troy how he was going at getting the dirt out of his eyes and told him to look up. To troy's disgust he looked up out of his still dirt filled eyes to see our mate urinating into the water fountain right next to where his hands were scooping up water to wash his eyes and face with. The rest of us were rolling around on the ground crying with laughter.

 

[snakebag]

A mate and I were heading out fishing for the day.
We hooked up the boat got half way to the boat ramp and a tyre blew on the boat trailer.
I asked my mate if he had a jack in the car he said "yeah" so we got it out jacked up the trailer took the tyre off and put it in the back of the car.
I said "righto lets go get this tyre fixed"
He said " I'm not leaving my jack here someone will steal it"
I said "How is someone going to steal it there's a boat on top of it."
He said " They will put a block under it and steal the jack."
I said " If they are gonna steal something they will steal the motor"
He reluctantly agreed so we went to get the tyre fixed.

While the tyre was getting repaired I called a young fella that works for me and said " Go put a block under the boat and hide the jack in the bow of the boat" which he did.

We returned with the tyre and as we pulled up my mate has realised the jack was missing turned to me and said " I f*$#%n told you someone would steal the jack" and proceeded to crack the sads.

A surfy bloke was watering his front garden right where the boat was and my mate walked straight up and started interrogating him.
The surfy guy told him a bald headed landscaper rocked up and took it. ( My worker has long wooly hair and we are not landscapers).
My mate then said " Right he's got to be working round here somewhere lets go find this $#*%"
I talked him out of it saying we wouldn't find him and if we did find a bald headed landscaper it may not be the right guy anyway.

We went back to my house some friends came round and we all hit the piss pretty thoroughly.
When they were leaving my mate said " I'm gonna leave my car out the front of your mums house i'm too drunk to drive".
I said "yeah no worries" and he and his missus left.

I called my girl and asked her to pick me up and we went round to my mums.

I took the jack from the bow of the boat jacked up his car took the tyres, put blocks under it, left the jack there and went home.
I woke to a phone call from my mate.
I said " Hey mate whats happening" He said "I got my jack back............. but someones stolen my f*$#%n tyres"
I said " No way"
He said " Yeah mate... when i find out who this is im gonna rip his f#$*n head off"
I told him id be there in 5 minutes, called my girl and told her to call him enquiring about free 4wd tyres advertised in the paper.

I got a call from him just as i was sending him a pic of me standing over his tyres giving the thumbs up. He said " I found my tyres...."
I said " Oh yeah where were they"
He said "In your mums garage ya d$%#head"

I got there and they were pretty pissed off as his girlfriend had called her work and told them she couldn't come in because the tyres were stolen off the car and they had called just about everyone else they knew.
It took them about 10mins but they saw the funny side in the end.

I am now waiting for a retaliation.

 

[slim6y]

This thread has started me scheming...

I've already hunted down the seeds - they come from Rocoto Manzano - a special, very hot variety.

They're a cool growing chilli - very very hot. When you look at them on the chilli scale, they're not the hottest by any means, but they're ahead of serrano. But what's more, they grow these Manzano seeds in cool climates!!! Exactly where I live (so before you go saying, get some habernaro - think again, i have t try and cultivate these puppies over a southern winter to get them ready for a Christmas joke!!!

See, good practical joking takes time.... Patience... And a very hot chilli!

 

[Beard]

as a kid i used to put black peppercorns in my brothers weetbix when he wasn't looking