Things you really need to know

Aussie Pythons & Snakes Forum

Help Support Aussie Pythons & Snakes Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
Status
Not open for further replies.

Magpie

Almost Legendary
Joined
Jan 24, 2003
Messages
5,954
Reaction score
0
Location
Canadia
HOW CAN YOU LIVE WITHOUT KNOWING THESE THINGS?




In Scotland, a new game was invented. It was entitled Gentlemen

Only Ladies Forbidden ...and thus the word GOLF entered into the

English language.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were

Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Coca-Cola was originally green.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It is not impossible to lick your elbow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work:

Alaska

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this..)

The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour:

61,000

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in

1910.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The youngest pope was 11 years old.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Those San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National

Monuments.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from

history:

Spades - King David

Hearts - Charlemagne

Clubs -Alexander, the Great

Diamonds - Julius Caesar

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs

in the air, the person died in battle.

If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a

result of wounds received in battle.

If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of

natural causes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th,

John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on

August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that makes

them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. What occurs more often in December than any other month?

A. Conception.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?

A. Their birthplace

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular

boat name requested?

A. Obsession

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go

until you would find the letter "A"?

A. One thousand

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and

laser printers all have in common?

A. All invented by women.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?

A. Honey

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. There are more collect calls on this day than any other day of

the year?

A. Father's Day

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. What trivia fact about Mel Blanc (voice of Bugs Bunny) is the

most ironic?

A. He was allergic to carrots.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. What is an activity performed by 40% of all people at a party?

A. Snoop in your medicine cabinet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by

ropes.

When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed

firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase "goodnight, sleep tight."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a

month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his

son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer

and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called

the honey month we know today as the honeymoon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in old

England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at

them mind their own pints and quarts, and settle down. It's where

we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into

the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a

refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your

whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.

~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~

At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.



HOW CAN YOU LIVE WITHOUT KNOWING THESE THINGS?
 
Rofl Magpie!! ~ That last ones worth a Funnys vote!!!!!!! :D
 
Hmmm

Back in the olden days (when Slatey was a lad) ships used to stack the cannon balls in a pyramid shape on a brass plate with indentations in it. When the temperature was very cold the brass contracted, which caused the cannon balls to fall off. This plate was called a monkey, thus the expression, "Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey".
 
heres some more that a friend sent me in an email.

Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the
mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.

Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away
from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood
plasma.

No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.

Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.

You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or
older.

The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.

The king of hearts is the only king without a moustache.

A Boeing 747s wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's first flight.

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating 1 olive from each
salad served in first-class.

Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.

Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.

The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.

Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike
factory workers in Malaysia combined.

Marilyn Monroe had six toes.

All US Presidents have worn glasses. Some just didn't like being seen
wearing them in public.

Walt Disney was afraid of mice.

Pearls melt in vinegar.

Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are
already married.

The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and
Budweiser, in that order.

It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.

A duck's quack doesn't echo and no one knows why.

The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days when the
engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground
floor
and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.

Richard Millhouse Nixon was the first US president whose name contains all
the letters from the word "criminal." The second was William Jefferson
Clinton.

Turtles can breathe through their butts Butterflies taste with their feet.

In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all of the world's
nuclear weapons combined.

On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year.

On average people fear spiders more than they do death.

Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.

Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year
because
when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all
the books that would occupy the building.

A snail can sleep for three years.

No word in the English language rhymes with "MONTH."

Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

All polar bears are left handed.

In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including
their eyebrows and eyelashes.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on
one row of the keyboard.

"Go," is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would
stand seven feet, two inches tall. Barbie's full name is Barbara
Millicent
Roberts.

A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
 
i cant do it, my gloves go up past my elbow :p :p ;P

you trying to say you aint sitting there trying to lick ya elbow simon...hahaha pull the other one

:p
 
ha stp ...funny person.

I just got through licking my elbow. I have a great sense of acheivement.

Ty guys.
MM
 
Wow!

My - you must have a LOOOOOooong tongue, mm! :shock:
 
MM I AM DEFINATELY COMMING TO VISIT YOU IN FAR QLND. Just to check your tongue. Souns so kinky to me. uuuhh
 
All those who have watched Cocktails and Dreams KNOWS the things on the end of shoelaces are fluglebinders!!! LOL
 
sxereturn said:
Slatey, your daughter reads this site.

lol!

Slatey MY daughter reads this site. Theres always PM. lol

J/K!!!!! :lol:

the topic from now on is 'things your daughter doesn't need to know'

Hello Mrs Slatey, I hope you had a good birthday. Slatey said you did in PM. Wooops. lol
j/k more

all jokes aside Slatey, your latest pic with wifey is so sweet.
Love MM
 
HA HA bought my kids read this site. They know me and they do understand that I can't help my self. Dirty old man always.
Mud mum you have to understand that when I hear something interesting about you like your long tongue. My imagination have no boundry.
Sorry spacegirl, I will behave in the future. Mabe.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top