You are all fired!

[Greebo]

Why we love Management...




A large company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO.
This new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a
tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning on a wall. The
room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant
business!

The new CEO walked up to the guy leaning against the wall asked, "How
much money do you make a week?" A little surprised, the young fellow
looked at him and replied, "I make $300.00 a week. Why?"

The CEO then handed the guy $1,200 in cash and screamed, "Here's four
weeks' pay, now GET OUT and don't come back."

Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and
asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?"

From across the room came a voice, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's."

 

[hornet]

that is classic, loved it

 

[Tatelina]

Wish someone would give me a cheque and tell me to never come back!

 

[codeth]

lol

 

[Chrisreptile]

nice

 

[Jozz]

Classic - got a good giggle from that one. :lol:

 

[croc_hunter_penny]

hehe wish that happened to me when i used to deliver for pizza hut :lol: maybe i shoulda gone for dominos after all!!

 

[IsK67]

Wish someone would give me a cheque and tell me to never come back!

It's in the mail.


IsK

 

[-=Surflifesaver=-]

hahaha, nice

 

[Oxyuranus microlepid]

It's in the mail.


IsK

lol!

that was good Dave!

 

[Surfcop24]

Good One.....Love it.... he he

 

[mines bigger]

thats cool

 

[Camo]

Pretty good that was.

Cameron

 

[dazza_wilto]

damn its been a while since that one has surfaced

 

[Bryony]

lol!

is a story? or really true?

 

[aussie_female1981]

thats awesome

 

[wichita]

Love it

 

[Pythonpilot]

What about,

RULES FOR THE BOSS

Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.

If it is really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it is going. That helps. Even better, hover behind me, and advise me at every keystroke. Always leave without telling anyone where you are going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.

If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books or supplies, do not open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be injured and lose all use of my limbs.

If you give me more than one job to do, do not tell me which is priority. I am psychic.

Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.

If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion. If you do not like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped. If you have special instructions for a job, do not write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.

Never introduce me to the people you are with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.

Be nice to me only when the job I am doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to manager's hell.

Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it is nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so many taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager.

Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I am not here for the money.
Sound familiar!

Pythonpilot

 

[Tatelina]

Hahahaha pythonpilot

 

[Jackrabbit]

I used to work for Dominos and that didn't happen to me. I was too busy wanting to get back for my next delivery.

Just shows it doesn't pay to work too hard all the time.