I normally do not discuss things like this on a public forum. But I used to suffer from anxiety and depression for many years before I was successfully put on something (Avanza) that fixes it. I still get anxiety and irritability but it isn't as bad as before, and the depression seems to be gone. The Avanza also killed my insomnia so I've generally had a good night's sleep every since I've been on it. I was starved of oxygen at birth and my mother was in labor for over 35 hours, so that might have contributed to it. I also suffered from obsessions when I was younger, especially with animals and plants, and then it was politics, then all sorts of other stuff. Psychiatrists reckon I have "Asperger's" disorder, which I may actually have, but I think it's more general than that because the obsessions are not too bad nowadays but I still have slight social dysfunction and seem to lack some of the higher-level social skills, which come naturally to most people. It isn't my fault, and I do not blame anyone for what happened to me. All throughout my life I've been dealt severe disappointments, and going through my own mother's self-inflicted death when I was only 12 was a major turning point in my life, and I don't think I've ever been the same since then, but I just get on with it because there is no sense in dwelling on painful memories.
Plenty of other people, even on this forum, have been through some horrible personal tragedies and traumatic events, so I always keep an open mind when I get involved in these discussions. In that regard I don't think I'm anything special, just another drop of water in the ever changing ocean. Some people have little to no grief, while others seem to confront it on a regular basis. It's those who have been through much trauma and have handled it and come out on the other side without becoming bitter and cold about their bad experiences that will generally do better in life than most. It does build character, but not necessarily in a good way. As a result of what I've been through in life I'm a true believer in Murphy's Law, if something can go wrong it probably will go wrong, and to deal with it and brace yourself for it. For me it's a most basic psychological survival mechanism - if there is a promise of good things to come you just think to yourself that if it indeed happens then yeah that's great, but it may not happen so don't get your hopes up. That's how I've been thinking since my mother died, that event changed me pretty much forever. I don't have the trust I used to have anymore, and it's probably why I'll end up buying a house for cash outright as opposed to doing what the majority of people are doing and ending up on the home loan treadmill. I'm a bit less trusting of the economy and people who fit my mindset generally retire fairly comfortably - so I guess that is my saving grace.
As for life - I can generally sum it up to this one lone sentence:
No promises, no guarantees, life is what you make it be no matter what anyone else tells you, keep trying, keep getting knocked down, keep getting back up, wear your bruises with pride, keep getting stronger, faster, smarter, better, and never ever forget that you'll be your own man and will one day possess the stoicism and the much longed for distinction of never having to answer to anyone.
(i hope that worked) Most humans have an extremely poor grasp of how a brain works and its variation, especially considering the indivdual complexities involved, both genetic and environmental. IMHO only a stupid brainwashed idiot like Ned Flanders can be happy in a situation where they are really >insert suitable words here<. Pretending to be happy is just stupid, learning to ignore irrelevant things that cause you stress is far more important.
