Mental Health Issues?

[Bluetongue1]

.…It has been nearly three months now going once a week at fifty dollars a week, i even could not make it for a month at one time and still no problems, I was initially spending about 700 a month on visits to doctors and pills. This man saved my life and my family.. I now live a normal life can hold my job and take care of my family as a mother should do….

From my own experience with psychiatrists, it sounds like you were well and truly over-medicated. I would have been looking at a second opinion by that stage. The fact that you have found an alternative practitioner that can control the symptoms for you is awesome! I am truly happy for you.

Do forums help because you see your not the only person going through something? or do they help because it is like writing a book, you can vent what your feeling? xox

One, both or neither of those may apply. Each of us has our own reasons for posting here and for reading the posts of others. It is going to vary with the individual. For me, neither of those applies.

….Suicide is the easy way out !....

Sorry, but I cannot accept that as a blanket statement covering any mental illness. It may be true of some illnesses and some sufferers but it does not hold true as a generalisation. Someone in the grip of severe clinical depression simply cannot experience joy of any nature. It is simply impossible for them to do so. The world is black!!!

The buzz you get out of your snakes, for example, would totally disappear. If you replaced all your snakes with house bricks, that’s what looking after them and handling them would be like. It does not matter what you do, there is absolutely no feedback from it and no point to doing it. Existence is pointless.

Many, if not most sufferers of severe depression also suffer from anxiety at the same time. Add the two together and there is one logical thing to do.

Blue

 

[bluewater]

Well put blue, whilst always accepting of mental illness, I never thought it would be me. I have no horror stories as such to attribute it to but life in itself can be a bloody scary place. When I eventually got fed up I was taked into councelling and onto meds. It really is quite amazing how serve the illness can be, it amazes myself looking back, things you are absoloutly passionate about are of little or no intrest next week, and the desire to live is all but lost. It is quite amazing how 'alone' you can be whilst still being surrounded by friends
Sorry, but I cannot accept that as a blanket statement covering any mental illness. It may be true of some illnesses and some sufferers but it does not hold true as a generalisation. Someone in the grip of severe clinical depression simply cannot experience joy of any nature. It is simply impossible for them to do so. The world is black!!!

The buzz you get out of your snakes, for example, would totally disappear. If you replaced all your snakes with house bricks, that’s what looking after them and handling them would be like. It does not matter what you do, there is absolutely no feedback from it and no point to doing it. Existence is pointless.

Many, if not most sufferers of severe depression also suffer from anxiety at the same time. Add the two together and there is one logical thing to do.

Blue[/QUOTE]

 

[Flaviruthless]

Someone in the grip of severe clinical depression simply cannot experience joy of any nature. It is simply impossible for them to do so. The world is black!!!
The buzz you get out of your snakes, for example, would totally disappear. If you replaced all your snakes with house bricks, that’s what looking after them and handling them would be like. It does not matter what you do, there is absolutely no feedback from it and no point to doing it. Existence is pointless.
Many, if not most sufferers of severe depression also suffer from anxiety at the same time. Add the two together and there is one logical thing to do.
Blue

Well said. Extremely well said.

 

[Bluetongue1]

Thankyou very much Rahni29. I am sure you can appreciate where I am coming from when I say that this is an insight I would rather I didn't have.

There are a couple of lines from the Paul Simon song “Slip Sliding Away” that I often reflect upon. They say so much in so few words...

“She said a good day, there’s no pain.
On a bad day I just lie in bed and dream of how things might have been.”

As for myself…
With hope and help and a measure of luck, I will go forward.
And if I don’t manage it today, I’m going to have another crack at it tomorrow!

I hope you are doing OK these days Rahni29.

Blue

 

[hrafna]

without going into great depth as i don't know any of you that well yet, i suffer from bipolar and it can be absolute hell. i can honestly sit here and say yes i am only here today because of my children. i don't believe people can fully understand what people such as myself go through each day, but then again i can't feel the impact that they feel each day because what i do impacts others. yes meds are hard to stay on at times, it can be an easy thing to stop them and i don't think many people can understand that. anybody who reads this and suffers from some sort of mental illness all i can say is this, find what works for you! find what helps you get through each and everyday and stick with it!

 

[CrystalMoon]

I would just like to offer a shoulder to lean on for any-one suffering with any illness, I may come across as a little bit of a ratbag however I have had bipolar
all my life and can empathize with what a lot of sufferer's go through*scoops you all up for a big virtual hug*I am a great listener and I "like"(couldnt help myself)
every-one. I never judge as I too live in a glass house, you are welcome to pm me any time
Kind regards
Crystal

 

[Smithers]

I would just like to offer a shoulder to lean on for any-one suffering with any illness, I may come across as a little bit of a ratbag however I have had bipolar
all my life and can empathize with what a lot of sufferer's go through*scoops you all up for a big virtual hug*I am a great listener and I "like"(couldnt help myself)
every-one. I never judge as I too live in a glass house, you are welcome to pm me any time
Kind regards
Crystal

Great Idea Crystal,...Im no Doc but have done heaps of therapy with shrinks and therapists for anxiety/depression and have a partner who has Aspergers/Bi Polar so between us we know our way around the block on this issue. We both have started a mental health support group for sufferers in the GLBTQI (I think that's everyone we hold a meeting every second week and it seems to be a good thing to have other say hey I do that or that's me too...plus it gets you out the house which is good for sufferers who like myself tend to be a bit agrophobic which is an anxiety disorder defined as a morbid fear of wide open spaces, crowds, or uncontrolled social conditions. I can offer the same as Crystal if you need to purge feel free to do so.

 

[$NaKe PiMp]

id like to share something on a more positive note.I am really motivated by my illness to try all the more harder,to pursue my passions,and enjoy the things i love all the more.
There are some major setbacks that pop up through life,but there are also some seriously magical moments,there the ones i think about.

 

[CrystalMoon]

id like to share something on a more positive note.I am really motivated by my illness to try all the more harder,to pursue my passions,and enjoy the things i love all the more.
There are some major setbacks that pop up through life,but there are also some seriously magical moments,there the ones i think about.

That is so refreshing to hear SP, I actually feel lucky at times to live with bipolar it has taught me so much about acceptence for others and myself
what I miss out on, on the merry go round I pick up on the hurdy gurdy... I may fight and strain through the downward spiral but the up's are
mind blowing(as long as I can control them and myself lol)

 

[Bluetongue1]

educations is all well and good, but acceptance that you have a biological mess up in your brain and you shouldn't breed is also something too many people don't think about.
sure, if it's something brought on by an incident, all well and good, but if you have a disorder that you have a "good" chance of passing on, adopt, don't be selfish and foster another (or several) generations with your mental issues.

this is not meant to be mean or pick on anyone what so ever, I just don't believe it's right to do so. and no, I don't have children, nor will I.

I had meant address this earlier and it slipped my mind.

I think it is important to distinguish between those mental illnesses that are inherited and those that are trauma induced. The effects on the mind and body are pretty much the same despite the very different origins of the ailment. And I don’t accept that those who do suffer trauma induced mental illness necessarily have a genetic predisposition to the ailment. I think all humans have a breaking point and that is especially the case with children, as they are not worldly-wise enough to have developed coping strategies that actually protect them.

Blue

 

[mysnakesau]

I suffer post traumatic depression from incidences that happen many, many years ago but have scarred me for life. I am on anti-depressents. I believe doctors hand these out far too much and I was very hestitant to start using them but after 4 years I know I have the right medication. If I forget to take it a few days in a row I can feel my mind slipping and my mood changes. The medication doesn't cure me of my scars but it does keep the depression under control.

 

[Dan40D]

My wife was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder 5 years ago. She had suffered from depression since before i met her but had been quite good up until one day when she unexpectedley got called up for a shift at work, this triggered something and she ended up in a screaming heap in the corner for the next three days before i made the hardest decision of my life and had her admitted to an institution. In hindsight it turned out to be the best decision i ever made. Before this she had only ever had her depression diagnosed by a GP, but clearly this was something deeper than depression.

Within days professionals at the hospital had diagnosed her with BPD, they made some changes to her medication and overnight she was a different person. They suggested that she may benefit from intensive Dialectical behavior therapy which basically teaches sufferers to manage their illness. The course was intense, 3 days a week plus a group session and one on one with a therapist for 18 months. The therapy was very tough on both of us and the next three years were filled with alot of ups and some deep downs, including self harm, but it worked and for the last 2 years there have been very few downs, and they were only minor.
I'm not saying this therapy is for everyone, my wife became very good friends with 2 other girls that did the therapy with her, sadly neither of them are still with us but there have been many more success stories from reunions that my wife has gone too.
My wife is not "cured" and never will be, the best we can ever hope for is managing the illness that she has, the next big test will come in September when our first child is due, the risk of post natal depression is high, but i can now read my wife like a book and will be keeping one eye on her at all times.

For those of you that read this and have not suffered from or seen somebody suffer from a mental illness can ask of you just one thing, when you do, (you WILL be affected by mental illness either directly or indirectly sometime in your life) please don't shun the person or tell them to toughen up, offer them support. If they ask you for help, do everything you can to help.
It was torture for me to have watch my wife go through this and there was times when i wondered what i was doing, it was very hard to remain strong, but the one constant thing throughout my wifes darkest days was me, this may sound a little arrogant but i believe it made a big difference in her getting to where she is today.

 

[Smithers]

A difficult read but ultimately a positive outcome Dan,...unfortunate there is no cure only treatments for now. Don't want to seem a dick but good on you for staying in there for the long haul it's a bumpy road at times hey. All the very best on the impending hatchie..oops child i meant

 

[Sezzzzzzzzz]

My wife was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder 5 years ago. She had suffered from depression since before i met her but had been quite good up until one day when she unexpectedley got called up for a shift at work, this triggered something and she ended up in a screaming heap in the corner for the next three days before i made the hardest decision of my life and had her admitted to an institution. In hindsight it turned out to be the best decision i ever made. Before this she had only ever had her depression diagnosed by a GP, but clearly this was something deeper than depression.

Within days professionals at the hospital had diagnosed her with BPD, they made some changes to her medication and overnight she was a different person. They suggested that she may benefit from intensive Dialectical behavior therapy which basically teaches sufferers to manage their illness. The course was intense, 3 days a week plus a group session and one on one with a therapist for 18 months. The therapy was very tough on both of us and the next three years were filled with alot of ups and some deep downs, including self harm, but it worked and for the last 2 years there have been very few downs, and they were only minor.
I'm not saying this therapy is for everyone, my wife became very good friends with 2 other girls that did the therapy with her, sadly neither of them are still with us but there have been many more success stories from reunions that my wife has gone too.
My wife is not "cured" and never will be, the best we can ever hope for is managing the illness that she has, the next big test will come in September when our first child is due, the risk of post natal depression is high, but i can now read my wife like a book and will be keeping one eye on her at all times.

For those of you that read this and have not suffered from or seen somebody suffer from a mental illness can ask of you just one thing, when you do, (you WILL be affected by mental illness either directly or indirectly sometime in your life) please don't shun the person or tell them to toughen up, offer them support. If they ask you for help, do everything you can to help.
It was torture for me to have watch my wife go through this and there was times when i wondered what i was doing, it was very hard to remain strong, but the one constant thing throughout my wifes darkest days was me, this may sound a little arrogant but i believe it made a big difference in her getting to where she is today.

dan i am sitting here in tears reading this. you are obviously a very strong person, as is your wife. you make me want to share too.

after 4 miscarriages i was left a shattered heartbroken mess. and so many people said similar things to me "it wasnt meant to be" (well why the f did i get pregnant then?) "next time" (wat if there isnt a next time).

i was angry at the world and was just breathing not living. i was angry at anyone else that got pregnant, i was just angry. i cried all the time, screamed at my poor hubby constantly, i was just a bitch. even i hadnt considered how depressed i was until 1 night i had a breakdown while my mum was visiting. all it took was her to ask how i REALLY was. then not long after i fell pregnant again, and each day passed and i stayed pregnant. when i had my daughter i was overjoyed but under-whelmed and after a few months i saw a doctor who diagnosed me with PND but not because i wasnt bonding with bub or being a good mum, it was from having put so much pressure on myself to be the "perfect mother", I took the tabs prescribed, and saw a therapist and within 6 months felt well enough to stop taking them, as we wanted to try and have another baby. i still have bad days, but now the majority are good, 2 yrs down the track we still dont have any more kids but hey ive been blessed with matilda and she makes life worth living.

 

[CrystalMoon]

I agree B, Dan it is an incredible journey you have travelled with your wife. You need to be sooo proud of yourself for sticking it out with her and being
her rock. It is such a difficult position to be in(that of a partner of a person with any mental illness) Both my previous husbands did not have such fortitude...
and I am relatively good at controlling mine Bipolar.(have moments)so I showed them the door and requested they begone.(although one is like chewy gum on mine shoe at the moment)still offering him as a give away.... ladies? cum on he is free to a good home?

 

[mysnakesau]

Not arrogant at all Dan. You have shown your loved one that you are there beside her for better or worse, in sickness and in health. You sound like the perfect husband and I know you'll be a perfect Dad too. Good for you!

 

[Dan40D]

newtolovingsnake,
Thanks, your story is also very touching.

so many people said similar things to me "it wasnt meant to be" (well why the f did i get pregnant then?) "next time" (wat if there isnt a next time).

Thats the other thing i learnt going trough all this, people think they are helping and being comforting by saying things like this, when in fact they are doing the exact opposite.

If someone asks you for help or you suspect someone may need help don't try to be a psychiatrist, leave it to the professionals, you may think that you are helping the person but in reality you are quiet possibly doing the exact opposite and making things much worse. My advice would be to contact Lifeline or Beyond Blue and ask them for suggestions on how to help the person, they will give the best possible advice on how to approach the situation, it is also totally free and you can remain anonymous. For people that are suffering from an illness, don't try to be a hero, there is plenty of help available.

Lifeline 13 11 14

Beyond Blue symptons checklist and advice <--- Link

 

[Bluetongue1]

Dan,

Thankyou for sharing your story with us and for providing such a terrific insight into mental illness from the other side of the fence. Thankyou you also for the window into the love have for your wife and how much you genuinely care. It is heart warming to see such values in action in our rather transient and self-centred modern world.

As mysnakesau pointed out, only in different words, credit where credit is due. Stick your chest out – you’ve well and truly earned the right to! A champion’s effort. My wish for you is that you reap the reward of on-going happiness for your efforts.

Blue

 

[waruikazi]

A bloke i know really well, is not mentally ill, but he's struggling with a moral dilemma. He's never happy, sometimes he's less unhappy than other times but he's never really that happy. Every now and then he thinks he has it all sorted but then something always hits him with a reality check. If you met him you wouldn't know he's not happy but really most days he's not.

He loves doing things for the people he loves. I recon he's the kind of guy that will go out of his way to help a mate even if it means getting himself into strife. I recon he just loves to make people happy. That is pretty well what he devotes his life to, just wanting everyone he loves to be happy.

That appears to be the crux of his problem. He's usually so unhappy that he doesn't see the point to it all, not that he wants to end it he just doesn't see the point to life but he doesn't want to upset the important people in his life. We all know how devastating something like that is on the people who loved them. That used to be good enough for him but now he's starting to realise that living for other people is a bit of dumb reason, if you can't make yourself happy why should you care about what other people feel?

I have been trying to convince him otherwise, which is hard on me too. Life can be really good, it can suck sometimes too but the good moments surely make up for it. But now he's even got me convinced. If life sucks that badly for him why shouldn't everyone be happy for him to end his suffering?

How can people be so selfish? When life sucks so hard and there is such a quick fix why should he have to worry about what others would feel?

He's tried to get help, He doesn't want to talke to friends because he doesn't want to upset them. I mean having something like that put on you is a massive burden, even for me and he doesn't want to seem like a whingey little bitch. I know he dialled the lifeline number before but hung up because he didn't want to put his problems on someone else.

What can i do for him. This is doing my head in.

 

[Wally]

I'm not sure you can help Gordo, for some the darkness is always there. It can be pushed back by doing the things you described - helping others etc.. but it always returns in your own time.