Am I Being Unfair?

[Jewly]

Hi all,

Just wanted to get a few opinions on an issue that I'm having with my son at the moment.
Just to give you a bit of background, my son Zac is almost 16 and he left school last year in November after finishing year 10. He really didn't put very much effort into finding work for most of that time instead preferring to sit at home on his backside doing nothing while I'm out working full time.

Now the problem is, is that he's managed to get himself a job at a bakery not far from us (which is great) but he has to start at 3am and he wants to get up at 2am and have a shower but it wakes me up and I can't get back to sleep for hours. I've asked him to shower before going to bed at night and to just get up and get dressed and leave for work so it doesn't wake me but he thinks I'm being unfair and says that he needs a shower to wake up.

I can understand that it's hard to wake up at that time, but it's also hard for me to have that broken sleep every night because I wake up exhausted and it's affecting my performance at work. I should also add, that I'm a single mother and it's incredibly hard to get him to do anything around the house so I'm left to do 95% of all the chores, shopping etc, whilst he only does his 6 hrs at work and has the rest of the day to himself.

So, I'd like some opinions on whether you think I'm being fair or not?

Cheers,

Julie

 

[Trouble]

I can understand where you're coming from, and where he's coming from... But remember, if you keep pestering him about it, he'll end up getting piissed off and quitting the job and going back to sitting around and doing nothing.
Just my opinion on it.
What time do you go to bed and what time do you get up to go to work (sorry if this is personal). You could try going to bed a little earlier so you're not as tired in the morning :?

cheers
Trouble

 

[cracksinthepitch]

Sounds fair to me, have you told him the benefits of caffeine.
Maybe try this(for chores) you will cook his dinner if certain chores are done,if not done he looks after his own dinner. He may fight you on it to start but he will soon change. Good luck

 

[Jungletrans]

Its probably hard for him to go to sleep while its day and people are moving around . l need a shower to wake up myself . You will get used to it , just think about how you are still warm in bed and he has to go out into the cold night . Its very important to encourage them on their first job or he will be back on the couch all day .

 

[hallie]

Tell him to splash water on his face in the morning and have a strong coffee to wake up.
As for the chores, tell him to pull his finger out and pull his weight...

I also like CRACKS no dinner idea... stick to your guns..!

 

[Australis]

Just tell him to move out into his own place / rent a room etc... if your conditions don't suite him.

 

[FNQ_Snake]

Hmmn, what does he do with his money? Does he chip in around the home doing chores? Does he help pay bills etc? If not then he needs to harden up and have a shower before he goes to bed. Until then he doesn't get a say and abides by your rules.

Meh, that's my opinion. Too many kids get away with blue murder now-a-days. Firm foot up the backside might be in order. LOL.

 

[dickyknee]

Your house , your rules ....simple .

 

[bradman]

You are being fair, Gee i wish my folks were that nice when i was growing up!
Give him a choice, Help around the house or get out If he doesnt like that go back to school.
Tell him to look around for other jobs while working now, the bakery is a tuff job and it sounds like he might do it for a few weeks then let it go
I dont know what it is with some people these days thier just lazy im only 27 and work 10hour days 6 days a week then come home to my hobies but the amount of people we fire at work for lazyness and stupidness is amazing!

 

[nightowl]

cut a deal with him, he can have his early morning showers if he does some of the chores to give you time to regain the sleep you missed out on...

 

[Lukey47]

agreed with FNQ, you should charge him rent, mum made rule for me as soon as i leave school i start paying $50-$80 a week rent, thats pretty cheap i think
also he needs to do chores around house, i know im only 16 but man kids my age getting so lazy

 

[missllama]

i cant go out unless i have had a shower in the morning i cant wake up properly everyone is different but if the shower does wake u up beacuse of ur son having one that early that does make it a bit unfair on u especially being that time in the morning, but then again if he is driving himself there i would let him so that he is awake enough to be driving at that time in the morning

 

[jessb]

My husband had a job for nearly a year where he would wake up at 4am to go to work. For the first week I woke up every morning as he left and couldn't get back to sleep for hours - but after I got used to it I just slept through it and barely stirred when he left. Do you think you will get used to it? Or perhaps earplugs?

 

[hallie]

i cant go out unless i have had a shower in the morning i cant wake up properly everyone is different but if the shower does wake u up beacuse of ur son having one that early that does make it a bit unfair on u especially being that time in the morning, but then again if he is driving himself there i would let him so that he is awake enough to be driving at that time in the morning

I think he is only 16 so dont think he is driving just yet?

 

[falconboy]

You say he sat on his bum for so long, yet now he is putting in the effort to get up at an ungodly hour to do a less than glamorous job. I think you should give him a pat on the back, and use earplugs.

 

[missllama]

what state is he in because here in s.a u can get on ur p's when ur 16 and drive alone?

 

[wood_nymph]

bottom line is your house your rules, but why are you doing 95% of teh chores. my parents and everyone elses' rules were always you stop going to school, find a job pay a rent and help out with a set of jobs written down and agreed to. he's got it easy

 

[dpeica]

Just turn the hot water off at night. Problem solved.

 

[bradman]

I start work every morning at 4am, i wake up at 2, I agree i could never go to work with out a shower in the morning But over time its tough hours to be working,
I have done it for 9 years now and for my efforts i can only sleep about 5 hours max (even rdos) and am always cranky during working weeks, Also have only a few friends outside of work cause you can never go out working nights
Just some thing for your son to think about CHeers

 

[Freeloader]

Tell him to give up his job in the bakery and join the navy. Make him a man and put hairs on his chest.