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da_donkey

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BBQ RULES

It is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

ROUTINE:
1. The woman buys the food.
2. The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
3. The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
4. The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

HERE COMES THE IMPORTANT PART:
5. THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

MORE ROUTINE:
6. The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.
7. The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he turns the meat

IMPORTANT AGAIN:
8. THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

MORE ROUTINE:
9. The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
10. After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

AND MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL:
11. Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
12. The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women!
 
These should come standard printed the front of the BBQ or at least in the manual so they are never forgotten and people will never need refreshing. Men usually don't read manuals but women do at least:lol:.
You should add under "Routine" between number 1 and number 2 that the woman brings the man a beer, then prepares salad, veg etc.
 
Rotflmao lol i love it.....:lol:

But you need to alter one step your woman shouldnt be asked to bring you another beer, She should bring it to you when your on your second last mouthful....:evil:
 
Yeah the rule of thumb is when there is 1 third left it's time for a new one.
 
I can laugh at this as I am ALWAYS the one who ends up cooking the meat at BBQ's. I apparently cook the best steaks :D
 
The sad part about it donk is that men should be banned from cooking the meat. They have no idea!
Why in hell do they turn the meat constantly????
 
The sad part about it donk is that men should be banned from cooking the meat. They have no idea!
Why in hell do they turn the meat constantly????

because men invented fire... nuff said :p :lol:
 
My oh my another chauvinistic post from da donkey....

I'm sure you score well with the fairer sex ;) :p
 
crikey, are you saying i need to do item 5 and 8, i rarely cook even on bbq's, the misses is a good cook, why would i spoil that
 
My oh my another chauvinistic post from da donkey....

I'm sure you score well with the fairer sex ;) :p

hahahah come on itbites, we've been through this before.......im glad that you are a feminist and i think thats really cute, but this is grown up time now. ;););)

donks (pig) lol

and just for the record i do quite well for myself :lol:
 
Well yes if you want everything done right than a woman needs to do it. That's why we should also cook the meat as I do on the bbq. And we all know that men can't do 2 things at once.
 
Well yes if you want everything done right than a woman needs to do it. That's why we should also cook the meat as I do on the bbq. And we all know that men can't do 2 things at once.

We can to. We can turn meat and drink beer at the same time. That's one thing we have mastered in multitasking. Don't ask for anything else though
 
you're wrong, i've seen lots of men do two things at once, breathing and scratching, beyond that.........(insert thinking music here) .........maybe you are right, they hold their breathe whilst scratching, :)
 
Well yes if you want everything done right than a woman needs to do it. That's why we should also cook the meat as I do on the bbq. And we all know that men can't do 2 things at once.

i can lick my eye and turn my foot inside out at once
 
The very sad reason some females use the BBQ when they have partners is because they have turned their males into soft metros.

No female is allowed to cook on my BBQ ever. My BBQ my rules. Im also not a fan of those big multifunction crap BBQs as well. Bring back the real mans BBQ I say.
 
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