here is for all the Dads on APS with little girls..

[funcouple]

lol i hope all dads arnt like that

i am. but then again my daughter plays ice hockey so i guess you could say she can look after herself

 

[daniel1234]

Hell yeah...whats that son it bit you, dont worry its not venomous,it may look like a tiger snake but i assure you its not. Now shoot down to the shops and get me some fish and chips.......:evil:
The poor lad that comes to date my daughter for the first time, im already warming up and she's only five:evil::evil::evil::evil::evil:

Mine is seven, but beats her brother up so I guess she'll be ok:?

Funny stuff here

 

[grizz]

I'll introduce the girls' mother... that should do it!

 

[amazonian]

I'll introduce the girls' mother... that should do it!

Show em what ya little girl will look like when shes older ya reckon? lol

 

[ogg666]

I'll introduce the girls' mother... that should do it!

OMG that made me laugh out loud:lol::lol::lol:

 

[Dragon1]

Daddy's Rules for Dating
Your dad's rules for your boyfriend (or for you if you're a guy):

Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world sex without utilizing a 'Barrier method' of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: 'early.'

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Sydney Harbor Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool, places where there is darkness, places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided; movies that feature chain saws are okay. Cricket games are okay...Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi . When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine. :lol::lol:

Wow, Redbellybite, did you write that yourself!:shock:
If so, then Very Good, So funny!:lol:
If not, then the same + Where did you get it? :shock:

 

[daniel1234]

I'll introduce the girls' mother... that should do it!

Wouldn't work for me

 

[redbellybite]

Dragon 1 ..One my daughter's sent it to me and said it reminded her of her daddy and his carry on before they got to an age where you have to sit back and just GLARE as the little baby girl is now 18 and can do what she likes .....doesnt stop my hubby from giving them the 'death stare' though

 

[Noongato]

I cant leave the yard without telling my partner where im going and giving a kiss goodbye etc. I feel so sorry for this baby if i have a girl.....Hahahaha

 

[redbellybite]

ha ha middy ...all the best

 

[Omgitschris]

HA HA, that was very funny , and some of the replys were too, glad my girlfriends father isent like that.

 

[snake_boy]

lol i got given the break my daughters heart and ill break your legs talking to when i was 16....
it was great news!!! he only mentioned dont break her heart, not her hyman

ahahaha niice

 

[LauraM]

Hahah thats great
my dad says to all my sisters guy friends "Anything you do to her I will do to you" its quiete uncomfortable when you can hear the guys in the other room yell
"Woo we get to score twice once with her once with her dad.

 

[prettyinmetal]

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha rule 4 is the best ever!

 

[seumas12345]

LMAO that last one cracked me up too much!

 

[seumas12345]

My ex's dad was big and italian and literally sat me down the first time I met him and gave me a speech included the following phrases "I am the top dog of this house." "Do not **** with me." "You will have her home by this time or else you will not be around here again"

Then, that night she had her drink spiked and I had to take her to the hospital... We didn't tell her parents but I dropped her home at 6 am. I later found out that her dad was already up about to go fishing... The next time I saw him he pulled me aside and gave me another speech up in my face with another great phrase "If you ever ****ing do that again I will break you"

 

[Miss_Kaos]

LOL my brother already warned me that if i brought a guy home he was gonna do this to me... i doubt my dad would do it tho.