Idiotic people that bring teh lulz or grinds your gears :/

[kawasakirider]

So another thread got me thinking about how idiotic statements can make your day, or put you in a mood.

Share some, but don't use forum posts as an example (I know I've had my fair share of stupid posts) but people could get offended. I've seen visitor conversations bitching about other people and it's no good, not what I'm after here.

Just your day to day encounters with people that make you smile, or put your fist through a wall

I'll start

My brother had a landcruiser with a less than perfect idle, (plus the choke was on, lol) some douche walked out of the servo and asked how much the V8 conversion cost him, and if it was a crate motor, hahaha.

I was in subway not so long ago, and this woman (I think she was mentally "touched") had a fur coat from big w (still had the tag on it) and was insisting that the cashier try it on. It was pretty filthy, but she kept insisting so the cashier caved and put the jacket on and the woman went into a big spiel about how she (the cashier) was wearing a coat worth over 10K.

The other night in eagleboys, this guy was asking about employment for his son, and asked the employee he was talking to "so how much would he expect to earn $2 bucks an hour? You guys don't earn much aye, hahahaha" while the boss was in the background, typical bogan. Like his son's gunna get a job there now.

 

[Crystal..Discus]

1. Can I suck a baby out with a vacuum?
2. Can I get herpes if I go down on my girlfriend while she's having an outbreak?
3. "Do you sell phones?" (working at a cartridge world back then.)
4. "Do I have to be 18 to buy alcohol? Yeah, I'm 18. Don't have ID though..."
5. Just stupid in general - working McDonalds drive thru, sometimes packers forget items - guy rocks up says we forgot three large big mac meals and his change.
6. What race has the largest penis? (he hung up when I told him, called me a dirty ******.)

 

[redlittlejim]

As a few on here know, my work mates are not the best when it comes to snakes. after trying to educate i had one fellow ask me if its true that they can eat anything up to 60 times there size, all they have to do is shed while they eat!! poor lad asked in front of others... sigh.

also not so much as a question but an answer. during our random drug and alcohol test a guy failed, when asked if was on anything he said, i dont smoke weed. i have it in a seperate wrapper, a little big must have ended up in my rollies by accident.... sigh
yes they are real australian people

 

[kawasakirider]

As a few on here know, my work mates are not the best when it comes to snakes. after trying to educate i had one fellow ask me if its true that they can eat anything up to 60 times there size, all they have to do is shed while they eat!! poor lad asked in front of others... sigh.

also not so much as a question but an answer. during our random drug and alcohol test a guy failed, when asked if was on anything he said, i dont smoke weed. i have it in a seperate wrapper, a little big must have ended up in my rollies by accident.... sigh
yes they are real australian people

LMFAO imagine a 6 ft snake eating something 60 times its size. DAYUM!

Oh, I have one....

Was at a soccer game once and this chick that was with me and the boys asked at half time "how many halves are there?" hahaha.

 

[Crystal..Discus]

Was at a soccer game once and this chick that was with me and the boys asked at half time "how many halves are there?" hahaha.

Did you look at her seriously and say "there's five."?

I keep remembering more.

Same call centre (we gave out general information.):

Got asked if a Blue Whale was a mammal. I knew the answer straight away, and he decided to get into a fight with me about it. Apparently it couldn't be a mammal because mammals need to breathe oxygen and whales swim in cold water. Only got him to shut up after I said the information came from National Geographic.

Another guy calls through at 1am and asks what race of people have the largest penis. I tell him the answer after a quick search, and get called a "Muslim sympathiser and a dirty *****."

The only time I've gotten snappy is when someone called through to bitch about his phone service, wouldn't get off the line, and finally I said "You know you're paying $3.50 every 30 seconds for this call?" Line goes quiet for a few seconds then just a really loud "BITCH!" before he hung up.

 

[kawasakirider]

Haha, no I didn't, I just blatantly laughed at her while my mate tried to explain the irony of what she actually asked.

I had no idea muslims were the most well endowed. Those studies are all BS anyway, 3/4 of the blokes filling them out bump up the numbers, I'd say.

 

[Crystal..Discus]

I had no idea muslims were the most well endowed. Those studies are all BS anyway, 3/4 of the blokes filling them out bump up the numbers, I'd say.

It wasn't Muslims though :lol: it was African Americans.

 

[kawasakirider]

Lol, that makes sense (althought I still don't believe it, but it's what you're told, lol).

My mother (love her to death, but she does my head in) has no idea about cars, even though she is an expert at everything. She asked me to drop the oil in her car and change it.

Now, I'm not a qualified mechanic, but I have rebuilt engines and done engine conversions on cars by myself, so I know which way to turn a spanner... I was under the car and the sump plug was stuck, for the life of me I couldn't get it undone... My mum was sitting on the verandah and screaming out that I was turning spanner the wrong way.

Turns out it was cross threaded, and I ended up getting it undone.

Shouted orders while I was replacing her alternator, too... Annoying.

 

[zack13]

I just finished work at an RSL and had a bloke ask me if we sold beer while looking at the beer taps talking about how much he dislikes vb.

 

[kawasakirider]

How tanked was he? Haha

 

[zack13]

Just got there from work. That was the problem he was sober

 

[mrs_davo]

I work in the Automobile industry - spare parts to be exact.
And it makes my blood boil when you ask what model landcruise/hilux etc they have so that you can get the correct parts, only to have the customer tell you that they are all the same.......what the...!!!!
One day I will just grab some random part off the shelf and give it to them, and when they try to return it when it doesnt fit - my replywill be " well you told me that they were all the same "- remember.....lol dont know if I am game enough though....lol

 

[Atrax1207]

Off topic- I LOVE your avatar mrs_davo

 

[snakeluvver]

Me and my mum went over to my mum's friend's place. The friend's dad was there and my mum started talking about my snake and stuff. The dad of the friend said "Oh that reminds me, down at Mooloolaba a while ago a baby got eaten by a 4m diamond python!" First off, diamond pythons arent found here, they rarely - if ever get - get to 4m, and a baby? Seriously!

 

[Sezzzzzzzzz]

my husband asked me if the fish needed water before we went on holidays! ***- the tank was full of the stuff...

 

[Snakewoman]

I know a lady who used to own a fruit and vegetable shop, one day a woman came up to the counter and asked her why there wasn't a use by date on apples :shock:

 

[marcmarc]

I had one of my custodials approach me one morning complaining that his previous nights meal was of due to the strange sheen on the meat content, and continued to lecture me on human rights etc getting quite agitated. The meat was silverside and I suppose this chap was not used to such fancy meals............

 

[CrystalMoon]

I had one of my custodials approach me one morning complaining that his previous nights meal was of due to the strange sheen on the meat content, and continued to lecture me on human rights etc getting quite agitated. The meat was silverside and I suppose this chap was not used to such fancy meals............

LOL I used to employ mostly backpackers(tourist concern/cattle property)after Boning out the beast I used to make the brine and pump the meat, thus making corned beef. One of the backpackers I had working in the kitchen couldnt get a particular piece of steak to cook, she charcole'd it and the center was still pink LOL poor girl was sooo embarassed when I explained the problem LOL(she has sliced off a piece of silverside, instead of rump)

Was told of a woman asking her Husband if they had to cross the river to get to the other side PMSL

 

[dossy]

i was at the docs with back injuries and someone came in and said to the receptionist i have been bitten by a snake but i didnt do anything to it other then pick it up

a guy i was talking to was trying to impress a girl with us and he started talking about scuba diving and how he dives at 35M every couple of weeks. now there are 2 problems with this 1st is he was talking about these depths in dive sites that are no deeper then 14,16 and 20M deep and 2nd is as a recreation diver you can you can go down to 18M.
i got the last laugh though because after he said all his stories to the girl and i i told him the problems and he didnt get the girl and he couldnt face her again

 

[Snakewoman]

Lol, I love this thread. People talking about food reminds me of my Uncle. One day my Auntie was gong out somewhere and left a pie for my Uncle with instructions on how to cook it. When she returned home she asked him how the pie was. He said it tasted good and that he liked the glaze she put on it. It turns out she didn't put a glaze on the pie, in the instructions she gave him she forgot to mention that he needed to take the glad wrap off the pie before cooking it... :lol: