Funny Reptile Stories

[noidea]

So I have just been reading some funny reptile stories, one that was hilarious was a guy waking up in the middle of the night thinking somebody had broken in but it was his huge snake that had got out and had the cat bailed up on top of the fridge. Just wondering if anyone on here had funny stories to that effect.

Also another dude was watching a horror movie whilst his snake was out and it nailed him coz he freaked when it crawled over his hand during a scary part.

Its probably been done before but i couldn't find anything in search and I like funny stories that are true makes them funnier.

Cheers in advance
Mel

 

[noidea]

What nobody has a single funny story?????

 

[eerin]

i only got the being pooped on by black headed python ... thats all
feel loved now hehe

 

[Thumpage44]

I have a funny story, When i was in grade 6 if found a small dugite near my school. I caught it and put it in my school bag so i could look at it later. During class it got out and the teacher sore it and started screaming for everyone to get out of the class. She Locked the door and told the other teachers because all the rooms had crappy doors going to one another.

All in all everyone in the lower school block was evacuated from the building and CALM was called in to deal with it.

That was a good day.

(Dugites are very dangerous)

 

[rodentrancher]

Crikey!!!

 

[Pythons Rule]

:shock:I've had 3 funny stories of my snakes so far in the 3 years me keeping.

I'm wondering where you heard the top 2 stories cause I had posted a thread last year and said almost the same thing.

#1 story - I was awoken at 5am in the morning by a loud smashing sound from the kitchen, me a sleep basicly almost tripping over my own feet stagerd out of the bedroom and into the kitchen one eye open saw the cat fly past me and soon realise there is a coffee cup smashed all over the floor started abusing the cat verbaly and as I was sweeping it up I was starting to wake up more I looked up and theres my 7 foot long Capie Medusa looking quite relaxed ontop of the microwave.

I had a party the night before and people taking the snakes out etc, I forgot to lock the door and she must of thought the cat was dinner.

#2 storie - I was watching a scarry movie and forgot my snake was at the back of the couch under the cushions, well just as the scarry bit started I had a itch so I scratched and she snaged me a good one, it was the most painfullest bite she has ever given me, blood everywhere. and cause I jumped so high out of the chair my man started ******* out larphing at me thinking I got scared from the scarry part. I was abusing him and crying it hurt, and ended up passing out cause of the blood.

I am not making them up I am telling you the trueth and the ones you read where probably my stories in the first place.

#3 3 weeks ago I was trying to put my male capie back into his cage after trying to feed him, and for some reason since I've seperated him from his woman he's been quite stressed out. anyway he was stressing out when I picked him up and really playing up and he desided to go through my belt loop in my pants, he used to do it when he was a babie but now he is 7.5 foot long and 3.1klo you can just imagin lol and not to mention I had guests over lol.
well that was interesting and too bad we didn't get a pic lol he was extremely stuck couldn't pull him forward and couldn't pull backward he would not budge so as I took me pants off :shock:to make it more managable one of the guys desided to walk in as I was bent over trying to untangle myself lol you should of seen his face hahahaha he ran out of the house quick as a flash lol it took me 1 hout to carefully unstich him. well I don't think he will do that again hmmm.

lol thats it so far that I can think of hope you liked lol

cheers Jody

 

[noidea]

it must have been your stories jody coz thats the one with the coffee cup smashing. theyre great the best I've done is a couple of weeks ago my hubby's lil carpet got out, and as my son called me to do the ol mum can you wipe my bum(he's 3) i walked out i saw him cruising along for a lil walkie. I thought that it was my girl out as he didn't freak to much when I went to pick him up(He's very flighty and quite aggressive, ponybug will understand we got him from his place), then the lil bugger swung around and decided my finger looked to nice and had a chomp. Now I'm used to being tagged constanly by my sons stimson (she never bites him or my hubby) But the coastals head is just a tad larger and a bit more pressure it made a nice lil mess. anyway that was my funny lil excitement. Oh the whole time my son was sitting on the loo laughing at me, cheeky lil bugger!

 

[dansfish4tea]

I have a funny story, When i was in grade 6 if found a small dugite near my school. I caught it and put it in my school bag so i could look at it later. During class it got out and the teacher sore it and started screaming for everyone to get out of the class. She Locked the door and told the other teachers because all the rooms had crappy doors going to one another.

All in all everyone in the lower school block was evacuated from the building and CALM was called in to deal with it.

That was a good day.

(Dugites are very dangerous)

jst looked up on the Dugites
did u know wat snake it was when u pikced it up????

 

[junglered-e]

here's a funny one, When I was a kid in India I caught 9 water snakes (harmless) and put them in this empty store room in my house for that day... I was fast asleep the next morning when I heard my aunt scream her brains out.... Lol what happened was, she for some reason decides to go into that room and opened the door and all these snakes were trying to get out... She freaked and I was made to run around the house thill all nine were rounded up.... Had to promise my folks that I would never bring snakes in to the house again and my aunt stopped visiting us since then......

 

[nuthn2do]

I had a phone call from a young (blonde) lady that had a snake egg in her garden. This was also confirmed by an expert neighbour that had many years of "real bush" experience. Story was this was large and appeared to be moving slightly and possible about to hatch.
When i got there it was what looked like a little plastic ball nestled in under a bush. Closer inspection revealed it had the word "China" moulded into it.

 

[elapid@]

the boy that cry'd wolf, well that was me, i got a rubber red bellied black about 1mtr long real like. and raced in side and told mum there was a snake out the back garage, and said its alright mum im not scared and went to where the pillow cases were keeped and ran down the back and mum chased me to say dont (DONT STEVE NOOOOOO) Well it was too late i went to grab the rubber snake and it bit me on the hand and wouldn't come off pumping pretend venom and mums screeming O steven you naughty boy crying ill call the emergency thats when i said (tricked ya mum look its just a rubber one. ) well dad got into trouble for buying it for me as i was only ten. and mum still to this day remembers it like if it was yesterday. and im 30yr old now. but now i have the real thing. but 20 years more mature then the age of ten. but i used to bring live snake home all the time, but was never aloud to keep them. just as well.

 

[Pythons Rule]

lol they are great lol

 

[tfor2]

I have one....
A while back i was putting the cover down on our avairy one evening as my parrots can be very loud at 5am in the morning. As i put my hand up to grab it i touched a snake and leaped about 40 feet... I yelled to my husband to come out and he said "how did she get out?'" as he went to grab it i ran to look in the enclosures to my horror we had no snakes missing. At the same time as i yelled out "ITS NOT OURS" i heard him yell "ouch" It had just nailed him and he replied to me I know that now... It was just a wild python who looked like one of ours trying to get in to eat my birds.

 

[Pythons Rule]

When I was living in QLD I used to live ontop of Bellthorpe near Malainy if you know where I am talking about, anyways I lived alone ontop of the hill with a large chicken pen and a few dogs etc, I was doing my thing in the house and normally when the dogs start going off it meens moms visiting or I have a tresspassing cow, I went out side and then heard the chocks clucking and screaming and all huddled over near the door of the cage. I walked over and shore anouph theres a 2.5 metre long dimond python stuch in the chicken pen with a large bolge in its tummy it had eaten my pet chock and couldn't fit through the fence. Well me always loving snakes desided to remove it in a pillow case but the plan wasn't as simple as I first thought lol it was very aggitated and flighty and tryed to take a few big sized bites out of the shovel, (I know what your thinking but I wasn't using it to hurt it, it was the only thing strong anouph to lift the snake) anyway managed to get it in the pillow case, put it in the car and took it down the road to my landlords where they where out planting trees with some comunity people...I have never seen blokes that a big and strong so frightened before lol the scream like little girls lol.:lol:

I took it out of the bag and freaked the **** out of everyone lol I ended up taking it down the bottom of the mountain far away from peoples chickens.

Cheers Jody

 

[dansfish4tea]

haha good1

 

[Pythons Rule]

my first encounter with a large brown snake was when I was 7 years old living in Rockhampton I have always been fasinated with snakes and spiders but I could never understand why that day I freaked out, I was so scared I couldn't move a muscal or say a word. I was about 5 metres aways in my front yard and it was on the other side of the fence. I can't quite remember what I did after that the snake just passed and went on its way.

strange hey!

 

[Forensick]

funny reptile stories?

well... lets see.... i bought my snake, because i am scared of them!

 

[Chris1]

when i first got Loki he was maybe 50cms long and escaped his cage, my big tough long haired, tattooed boyfriend saw him in the spare room, and screamed like a woman that i needed to come get him hes not touching it,...i've never seen him so shaky,..hehehe

 

[grimbeny]

I luckily havn't had any escapees. The other day though i left simbas enclosure open and when my mum went to put the washing back in my room she saw simba half out of his tank and screamed. I thought somthing actually bad had happened. My mum is totally freaked out by the snakes, i thought she would get over them eventually but its been over 3 years now and no such luck.

 

[expansa1]

Funny Story

While moving house we had all of our turtles wrapped in towels for their journey.

After arriving at our new home we put them into their pond and all the towels were checked, shaken and washed in our Fisher and Paykel 'smart drive' washing machine. If anyone has a Fisher and Paykel washing machine, they would know that the wash goes for about 15 minutes and the spin cycle is 1000 revolutions per minute for 6 minutes. Anyway, while getting the towels out of the washing machine (2 days later), my wife Gabrielle got a shock and found a juvenile Saw-shelled turtle in the towels alive and well. It must have been clinging on to the other side of a towel with its claws. I checked it over and apart from being the cleanest turtle I ever owned it was none the worse after it's ordeal. Gabrielle did say that it was swimming in circles for a while but that could have been her imagination.

Poor Turtle!