good old Kiwi jokes....

[mebebrian]

I'm beached as bro!!!

Bahhahaha! Would you like a chup bro?

listen here all you ungrateful hakka dancing kiwi's YOUR NOT IN THE LAND OF CHILLY BINS AND JANDALS NOW .........

Crap! This place is full of em! Whole lot more Chilly bins and Jandals in Australia than New Zealand....Bro

 

[Oldbeard]

Bahhahaha! Would you like a chup bro?

Lol nah I only eat plankton bro!!!
I wasnt sure if anyone on here would have seen that its pretty funny.
My stepson bought me a tshirt with it on it. its pretty cool.

 

[redbellybite]

Bahhahaha! Would you like a chup bro?




Crap! This place is full of em! Whole lot more Chilly bins and Jandals in Australia than New Zealand....Bro

brian THEMS CALLED THONGS AND ESKYS in this fine southern land ..........:lol::lol::lol::lol:

 

[RedEyeGirl]

heheehhahahahaaahahaha so funny!

 

[DanTheMan]

Bahhahaha! Would you like a chup bro?

Lol nah I only eat plankton bro!!!
I wasnt sure if anyone on here would have seen that its pretty funny.
My stepson bought me a tshirt with it on it. its pretty cool.

Hahaha yea iv seen that too

 

[channi]

What's the difference between an arsonist and the all blacks?

An arsonist wouldn't waste his last 5 matches.

 

[slim6y]

What's the difference between an arsonist and the all blacks?

An arsonist wouldn't waste his last 5 matches.

I think you'd mean that with the Wallabies right - you know you guys lost to Wales and NZs last five matches have all been victories - so ummmm.. The joke is on you!

 

[channi]

A man was found dead on his front lawn wearing pink panties, and an all blacks shirt, with a dildo up his ..... The police removed the all blacks shirt to save the family further embarrassment.

 

[channi]

Two Kiwi girls are browsing around a perfume counter, one picks up a sample bottle, sprays it on her wrist and smells it.
"That's quite nice, don't you fink Trace?"
"Yeah Sharon, what's it called?"
"Viens a moi"
"VIENS A MOI, what the fock does that mean?"
At this stage the shop assistant offers some help.
"Viens a moi, ladies is French for 'come to me'"
Sharon takes another sniff and offers her arm to Tracey again, saying,
"That doesn't smell like come to me Trace. Does it smell like come to you?

 

[slim6y]

A man was found dead on his front lawn wearing pink panties, and an all blacks shirt, with a dildo up his ..... The police removed the all blacks shirt to save the family further embarrassment.

I think again you mean a Wallabies shirt - remember - you guys were JUST BEATEN BY WALES!

yes, Wales... My God... Wales isn't even a country and they beat you...

The joke really is on you...

WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES WALES

Yep - I remember the time the Wallabies were beaten by Wales - that's because it was this weekend!!!! YES!!!

Your team sucks! Hahaha :lol::lol::lol:

 

[channi]

LOL slim if I actually watched football I might care lol

 

[channi]

But wait there's more.

 

[channi]

A group of Kiwi guys decide to make a evening of it and head off the nearest field. They have among them a 'Novice', otherwise known as someone who has still to enjoy the Kiwi way with sheep.

So, when they arrive, everyone piles out of the van, and run headlong into the field where a large flock of sheep await.

The Novice guy is running along behind, wondering why everyone seems to be racing, so he shouts out:

NOVICE: "Whats the bloody hurry, theres must be 50 sheep in this field"






EXCITED KIWI: "Yeah but you don't want to get an ugly one!"

 

[slim6y]

NOVICE: "Whats the bloody hurry, theres must be 50 sheep in this field"






EXCITED KIWI: "Yeah but you don't want to get an ugly one!"

Very true - I am assuming the novice was an Aussie?

Hey you know why Aussie men don't have sex with kangaroos right?

It's because they can't catch them... Streuth!!!

 

[channi]

Lol.

 

[channi]

How do you stop a Kiwi from drowning?

Take your foot off his head.

Bada BOOM

 

[channi]

Two families move from New Zealand to Australia When they arrive, the fathers make each other a bet-in a year's time, whichever family has become more Australian will win.

A year later when they meet again, the first father says, "My son's playing footy, I had vegemite for breakfast and I'm on my to way to pick up a slab for tonight.

How about you, mate?"

The second father says, "F*&^ off you Sheep-shagging Kiwi c*&%"

 

[links]

whats the difference between the wallabies, aussie rugby league team and a vacuum cleaner.

nothing they all suck

 

[redbellybite]

Clearly, you need to be an Aussie to understand.

(YOU SEE US AUSSIE'S CAN TAKE THE PISS OUT OF OURSELVES)


Billabonk: To make passionate love beside a waterhole
Bludgie: A partner who doesn't work, but is kept as a pet
Dodgeridoo: A fake indigenous artefact
Fair drinkum: Good-quality Aussie wine
Flatypus: A cat that has been run over by a vehicle
Mateshit: All your flat mate's belongings, lying strewn around the floor
Shagman: An unemployed male, roaming the Australian bush in search of sexual activity
Yabble: The unintelligible language of Australian freshwater crustaceans
Bush****er: A pretentious drongo, who reckons he's above average when it comes to handling himself in the scrub
Crackie-daks: 'hipster' tracksuit pants.
And for the Kiwi's amongst us:
Shornbag: A particularly attractive naked sheep.

 

[DanTheMan]

What's the difference between an arsonist and the all blacks?

An arsonist wouldn't waste his last 5 matches.

Lol far from the truth, as slim said, you must mean the Wallabies.
All Blacks one the Tri-Nations & the Bledisloe Cup againts the Wallabies (and S.A) AND they just thrashed england, who the Wallabies lost to in the world cup.

I know its a joke but it needs to have a bit of logic to it!