ilovejordan
Active Member
Haha thats a good one....
good old Kiwi jokes....
- Thread starter redbellybite
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Lol far from the truth, as slim said, you must mean the Wallabies.
All Blacks one the Tri-Nations & the Bledisloe Cup againts the Wallabies (and S.A) AND they just thrashed england, who the Wallabies lost to in the world cup.
I know its a joke but it needs to have a bit of logic to it!
Ok I know this is hard for you to understand (otherwise you would have got it the first time I posted it) so I will talk slowly for you.
That .... might .... matter....if.....I ..... cared.....about football....but ....I....am....just.....in....it....for....the....laughs.
LOL.
Oh and the spelling of won in this instance is not one. And I missed the rule about jokes and logic, I thought if it's funny it's a joke....my bad.
DanTheMan
Very Well-Known Member
Hahah, your signature suits you perfectly
And sorry for not going through and seeing if you had posted again to justify yourself
A kiwi walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm, looks at his wife lying in the bed and says, "Darling this is the pig I sleep with when your not feeling well"
The wife replies, "I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot!"
The kiwi looks at her, rolls his eyes and says, "I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you."
The wife replies, "I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot!"
The kiwi looks at her, rolls his eyes and says, "I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you."
slim6y
Almost Legendary
It's ok channi - when Dan left his home country he raised the average IQ of both countries!
ilovejordan
Active Member
lol x1000000000000000000
Have you spent years trying and failing to understand what New Zealanders are saying?
Just by following these easy steps and you too can hold a conversation with a New Zealander.
What you hear and what it really means:
BETTING : "Betting Gloves" are worn by betsmen in crucket.
BRIST : Part of the human anatomy between the "nick" and the "billy"
BUGGER : As in "mine is bugger than yours".
BUN BUTTUN - been bitten by insect
BUG HUT - popular recording
CHULLY BUN : Also known as an Esky
DIMMER KRETZ : Those who believe in democracy.
ERROR BUCK : Language spoken in countries like "Surria", E-Jupp" and "Libernon".
EKKA DYMOCKS : University staff
GUESS : Flammable vapour used in stoves.
LEATHER - foam from soap
SENDLES : Thongs, open shoes
COLOUR : Terminator, murderer.
CUSS : Kiss
DUCK HID : Term of abuse directed mainly at males.
PHAR LAP : NZ's famous horse which was actually christened "PHILLIP".
ERROR ROUTE : As in "Arnotts mulk error route buskets".
FITTER CHENEY : A type of long flat pasta not to be confused with "rugger tony".
PISSED aside - chemical that kills insects
PIGS - for hanging out washing
PUGS - pink animal with curly tail
Just by following these easy steps and you too can hold a conversation with a New Zealander.
What you hear and what it really means:
BETTING : "Betting Gloves" are worn by betsmen in crucket.
BRIST : Part of the human anatomy between the "nick" and the "billy"
BUGGER : As in "mine is bugger than yours".
BUN BUTTUN - been bitten by insect
BUG HUT - popular recording
CHULLY BUN : Also known as an Esky
DIMMER KRETZ : Those who believe in democracy.
ERROR BUCK : Language spoken in countries like "Surria", E-Jupp" and "Libernon".
EKKA DYMOCKS : University staff
GUESS : Flammable vapour used in stoves.
LEATHER - foam from soap
SENDLES : Thongs, open shoes
COLOUR : Terminator, murderer.
CUSS : Kiss
DUCK HID : Term of abuse directed mainly at males.
PHAR LAP : NZ's famous horse which was actually christened "PHILLIP".
ERROR ROUTE : As in "Arnotts mulk error route buskets".
FITTER CHENEY : A type of long flat pasta not to be confused with "rugger tony".
PISSED aside - chemical that kills insects
PIGS - for hanging out washing
PUGS - pink animal with curly tail
Hey shouldn't your name be spelled lunks.
slim6y
Almost Legendary
Channi - when I first started teaching here I was very worried about my accent (which incidentally isn't very strong). No one picked up on it - until I was teaching chemistry.... Yes... The year 11s were all listening carefully when I was introducing the groups on the periodic table....
"Group one atoms there with lithium, group two atoms there has calcium, group three is over here with aluminium, group four with carbon, group five with nitrogen and there's group six...."
I was quickly interrupted -
"Sir," a bright kid at the front said "Do these atoms really have group sex?"
"Group one atoms there with lithium, group two atoms there has calcium, group three is over here with aluminium, group four with carbon, group five with nitrogen and there's group six...."
I was quickly interrupted -
"Sir," a bright kid at the front said "Do these atoms really have group sex?"
redbellybite
Almost Legendary
CHANNI....your on FIRE girl .....LMAO .........seems like the KIWIS like to dish it out ....but find it a little hard to cop it back .....when all else fails at insulting us AUSSIES ..they use the terminology and I quote 'THE ALL BLACKS.............." yes WE as Aussies KNOW the all blacks WON the rugby ...we can handle that and understand WE DONT ALWAYS WIN AT EVERYTHING......you know we look after our little brothers from the land of the long white cloud.......why we even have blow up sheep to cater for all you city type kiwis.........
LMAO seriously, you know we just lie in wait for you guys to say six. It makes our day, maybe small minded but hmm we/I never claimed to be intelligent
Thank you, thank you, someone has to play for the home team, I do what I can. I am not finished yet I am just giving them a breather.
CHANNI....your on FIRE girl .....LMAO .........seems like the KIWIS like to dish it out ....but find it a little hard to cop it back .....when all else fails at insulting us AUSSIES ..they use the terminology and I quote 'THE ALL BLACKS.............." yes WE as Aussies KNOW the all blacks WON the rugby ...we can handle that and understand WE DONT ALWAYS WIN AT EVERYTHING......you know we look after our little brothers from the land of the long white cloud.......why we even have blow up sheep to cater for all you city type kiwis.........
There was this big kiwi sitting at the bar having a few beers. When a gay looking guy walks in, the gay guy takes a fancy to the kiwi and after a few beers ask the kiwi if he would like a head job.
Well the kiwi kicks and punch's the gay guy out in to the car park, then goes back to the bar and has another drink.
The barman ask's if he's okay as he has never seen him act that way and wondered what the man had said to him and the kiwi replies
"I'm not sure something about a job."
Well the kiwi kicks and punch's the gay guy out in to the car park, then goes back to the bar and has another drink.
The barman ask's if he's okay as he has never seen him act that way and wondered what the man had said to him and the kiwi replies
"I'm not sure something about a job."
Oh last one....for tonight.
Two kiwi blokes, Muck (mick) and Phul (Phil) decided to go and have a couple of coldies after work. As soon as they stepped inside the bar Muck went butt up in a pile of doggy do. The owner came rushing out apologising profusely, cleans the floor and Muck up and tells him, "Me bloody mutt, mate can't be trained, bloody thing is always crapping on the floor. Come on take a seat at the bar, free beers for you two all night."
Well Muck and Phul are having a grand old time getting pussed at the owners expence when in walks the biggest Aussie bloke either of them had ever seen, and what do you know, the bloody dog had been at it again. The Aussie guy goes sliding in it, loses his footing and lands on his butt. Muck comes running over, "Aww, Mate." he says " I just did that an hour ago."
The Aussie bloke jumps up immediately grabs Muck by the back of the neck and rubs his nose in the dog do and says," Did ya? Ya dirty bastard."
Two kiwi blokes, Muck (mick) and Phul (Phil) decided to go and have a couple of coldies after work. As soon as they stepped inside the bar Muck went butt up in a pile of doggy do. The owner came rushing out apologising profusely, cleans the floor and Muck up and tells him, "Me bloody mutt, mate can't be trained, bloody thing is always crapping on the floor. Come on take a seat at the bar, free beers for you two all night."
Well Muck and Phul are having a grand old time getting pussed at the owners expence when in walks the biggest Aussie bloke either of them had ever seen, and what do you know, the bloody dog had been at it again. The Aussie guy goes sliding in it, loses his footing and lands on his butt. Muck comes running over, "Aww, Mate." he says " I just did that an hour ago."
The Aussie bloke jumps up immediately grabs Muck by the back of the neck and rubs his nose in the dog do and says," Did ya? Ya dirty bastard."
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DanTheMan
Very Well-Known Member
Hahaha!
If you have an Aussie accent, those sounds pretty accurate!
Our accent is rediculous lol
See I can take it! Even from myself!
Lol far from the truth, as slim said, you must mean the Wallabies.
All Blacks one the Tri-Nations & the Bledisloe Cup againts the Wallabies (and S.A) AND they just thrashed england, who the Wallabies lost to in the world cup.
I know its a joke but it needs to have a bit of logic to it!
umm i think you missed the joke.
wasting 5 matches refers to the all blacks winning so easily in the early rounds of every world cup and then failing at the last hurdle when everyone thinks they have it all wrapped up.
it has nothing to do with the most recent matches, just the fact that every world cup they go in as favourites and choke terribly.
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