Fuscus
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And in latest news, an AFL footballer has just tested positive for capsicum!
Joke thread
- Thread starter IsK67
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Snakeaholic
Active Member
bump
i feel like some more jokes - there was no point in me making a new thread when there are alredy heaps of joke threads on aps.
PS. sorry, im all out of jokes (that i can remember)
i feel like some more jokes - there was no point in me making a new thread when there are alredy heaps of joke threads on aps.
PS. sorry, im all out of jokes (that i can remember)
Snakeaholic
Active Member
The Jewish Samurai
Once upon a time a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new Chief Samurai. After a year, only three applied for the job: a Japanese, a Chinese and a Jewish Samurai.
"Demonstrate your skills!" commanded the Emperor.
The Japanese samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box and released a fly. He drew his samurai sword and *Swish!* the fly fell to the floor, neatly divided in two!
"What a feat!? said the Emperor. "Number Two Samurai, show me what you do."
The Chinese samurai smiled confidently, stepped forward and opened a tiny box, releasing a fly. He drew his samurai sword and * Swish! * Swish! * The fly fell to the floor neatly quartered.
"That is skill!" nodded the Emperor. "How are you going to top that, Number three Samurai?"
Number Three Samurai, Obi-wan Cohen, stepped forward, opened a tiny box releasing one fly, drew his samurai sword and *Swoooooosh! * flourished his sword so mightily that a gust of wind blew through the room. But the fly was still buzzing around!
In disappointment, the Emperor said, "What kind of skill is that? The fly isn't even dead."
"Dead, schmead," replied the Jewish Samurai. "Dead is easy. Circumcision... THAT takes skill!"
Once upon a time a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new Chief Samurai. After a year, only three applied for the job: a Japanese, a Chinese and a Jewish Samurai.
"Demonstrate your skills!" commanded the Emperor.
The Japanese samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box and released a fly. He drew his samurai sword and *Swish!* the fly fell to the floor, neatly divided in two!
"What a feat!? said the Emperor. "Number Two Samurai, show me what you do."
The Chinese samurai smiled confidently, stepped forward and opened a tiny box, releasing a fly. He drew his samurai sword and * Swish! * Swish! * The fly fell to the floor neatly quartered.
"That is skill!" nodded the Emperor. "How are you going to top that, Number three Samurai?"
Number Three Samurai, Obi-wan Cohen, stepped forward, opened a tiny box releasing one fly, drew his samurai sword and *Swoooooosh! * flourished his sword so mightily that a gust of wind blew through the room. But the fly was still buzzing around!
In disappointment, the Emperor said, "What kind of skill is that? The fly isn't even dead."
"Dead, schmead," replied the Jewish Samurai. "Dead is easy. Circumcision... THAT takes skill!"
Dodie
Well-Known Member
Vincent Van Gough walks into a bar.
The bartender asks "Can I get you a beer"?
Vincent replies "No thanks, I've got one ere"
An old man is sitting on a bench in a mall. A young man with a mohawk with all the colours of the rainbow sits next to him. The old man starts starring at the young man's hair when he asks the old man "What's the matter old timer never done anything crazy in your life"?
The old man replies "Got drunk and effed a parrot once, just wondering if you are my son"
The bartender asks "Can I get you a beer"?
Vincent replies "No thanks, I've got one ere"
An old man is sitting on a bench in a mall. A young man with a mohawk with all the colours of the rainbow sits next to him. The old man starts starring at the young man's hair when he asks the old man "What's the matter old timer never done anything crazy in your life"?
The old man replies "Got drunk and effed a parrot once, just wondering if you are my son"
Snakeaholic
Active Member
bump
spilota_variegata
Very Well-Known Member
A husband and wife are shopping when the man picks up a case of beer and sticks into the shopping cart.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife
'They're on sale, only $10.00 for 24 cans', he says
'Put them back. We can't afford it,' says the wife and they carry on shopping...
A few aisles later the woman picks up a $20.00 jar of face cream and sticks it into the cart.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the man,
'It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' she says.
The man replies... 'SO DOES 24 CANS OF BEER AND THEY'RE HALF THE BLINKING PRICE'
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife
'They're on sale, only $10.00 for 24 cans', he says
'Put them back. We can't afford it,' says the wife and they carry on shopping...
A few aisles later the woman picks up a $20.00 jar of face cream and sticks it into the cart.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the man,
'It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' she says.
The man replies... 'SO DOES 24 CANS OF BEER AND THEY'RE HALF THE BLINKING PRICE'
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