Dad Jokes

[harlemrain]

The jokes on here are so funny, but couldn't help thinking to myself when reading it "all we are saaaayingg....is give peace a chaance!!!!"

Lol, random I know but hey world peace guys, world peace ;P

 

[emmalene_bunny]

The jokes on here are so funny, but couldn't help thinking to myself when reading it "all we are saaaayingg....is give peace a chaance!!!!"Lol, random I know but hey world peace guys, world peace ;P

Wait I have one, what do you call a hippies wife?
Missesss-hippi :lol:

Like the state... Awkward.. :shock:

 

[Bluetongue1]

Ralphee,
Did you hear about the American Indian that won the tea drinking competition? poor fellow almost drownwed in his teepee.

A few oldies that that have done the rounds but the kids actually enjoyed most of these...
What do you call a dinosaur thta is about to eat you? "I-think-he-saurus".
What do call a man with no arms and no legs who goes swimming? Bob.
What do you call a man dressed in a suit made of brown paper? Russell.
What do you call a man with a rabbit stuck up his backside? Warren.
What do you call a stag that has had its eyes gouged out by another stag's antlers? No idea.
What do call once wanders out on a road and gets run over by a truck? Still no idea.

I hope you day wasn't oo bad. It's always a bummer having to work between Christmas and New Years.

Blue

 

[Sleazy.P.Martini]

bahahaha take a breath and listen to YOURSELF your moving in on an argument started by a kid with nothing better to do , there harmless jokes and anyone who cant see that then well i kinda feel sorry for you , no ones picked on the condom joke , you
girls have no idea how that could knock a young mans confidence about but noooo all the girlys pick on the joke about ugly not washing off must be personal for you huh

Didn't knock my confidence about at all, I was gonna get upset but thought "no, I'll be the bigger man"...does that count as a dad joke?

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P.s...See the cemetery? Its the dead centre of town. Yeh, had to put a fence around it, people were just dying to get in

 

[Bluetongue1]

I have been a little bit concerned about comments. I have no desire to reignite that which has hopefully put out. I would, however, like to share a little of the understandings I have gleaned from my time on the planet.

I spent a lot of years in the classroom with high school kids and I figure I have a reasonable insight into what they go through in the beginning years. I also clearly remember my own early teens. That dawning of self awareness that comes with adult hormones kicking in, has a huge effect on kids. They need all the positives and regular interaction you can muster as a parent. Hopefully by that by stage you should have them involved in some form of regular activity that they enjoy and are good at and get lots of positive feedback from. These are protective factors. Suddenly becoming aware of self, kids are uncertain who they are and how others view them. The mean comments that other kids make in the schoolyard or down the shops etc, that used to be forgotten in an hour, now can eat away at their self image and do some real damage. As a parent, there is no substitute for spending time with your kids. I hate the expression “quality time” because it says to me you are too damn busy to get your priorities right. If you spend an hour watching a TV show with your child parked next to you and leaning against you, not a word has to be exchanged. That child will know that he or she is loved and worthwhile, because you have taken time out from all that you do to spend it with them. Obviously you need to interact with your children. But the point I am trying to emphasise is that it is your time that counts. Spending time with them, showing interest in what they like… being there!

I do understand where the concerns about the “ugly” comment come from. As I mentioned in a post, context is everything. Initially, there was no context given. I myself was somewhat taken aback that a dad would say that to his daughters friend. However, my concerns were alleviated when the context was explained. Clearly the girl was friendly with the dad and new what his sense of humour was like. Under those circumstances, referring to a knowing individual as ‘ugly’, in a sarcastic comment, actually conveys the opposite sentiment. It says that the dad is so comfortable that he is not going to be taken literally, he is can afford to be extremely cheeky. To the recipient of such a remark, under those circumstances, it is actually a compliment on their good looks.

My elder brother was the cheeky one of the family and extremely quick witted. One of my older sisters had a number of friends she used to invite over occasionally, one of which my brother thought was particularly hot. To cut a long story short, my brother had this expression: “Do you take ugly pills?”. He actually used it on this particular lass and with a fortnight they were an item.

Context (familiarity, understanding, that which has gone before etc) makes all the difference to meaning and effect.

Blue

 

[emmalene_bunny]

Thanks for your insight Blue i really enjoyed your perspective on the topics.
Now all you need to do is add a "dad joke" or any at the end and I will deem this post as completely perfect

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So I think I'll post this little photo that I've been laughing at the last hour I love this little grumpy cat, he keeps popping up everywhere!
View attachment 275387

 

[cathy1986]

A guy walks into a shrinks office in nothing but clingwrap and says
"doc i been feeling a bit weird lately, could you tell me whats wrong"

And the dr replies
"well lad i can clearly see your nuts"

Cathy

 

[Bluetongue1]

Hang on. I have the ideal cat picture if I can find it.

Blue

 

[Sleazy.P.Martini]

A guy walks into a shrinks office in nothing but clingwrap and says
"doc i been feeling a bit weird lately, could you tell me whats wrong"

And the dr replies
"well lad i can clearly see your nuts"

Cathy

Ha. Nice

 

[Bluetongue1]

Cathy, I will say that reminds me of a number of jokes, none of which are reproducible here. However, this should suffice…
Blue

 

[Rob]

I love this little grumpy cat, he keeps popping up everywhere!

A bit like this one ?

 

[emmalene_bunny]

A bit like this one ?

I love this!! 8)

 

[Grogshla]

haha Immortal. They have some good music actually haha

 

[emmalene_bunny]

View attachment 275395:d

 

[sharky]

Does the cat feature of stage ?

 

[emmalene_bunny]

Does the cat feature of stage ?

This particular cat has been entertaining me now since yesterday, truthfully I'm a bit obsessed the photos are awesome I wish he was on stage! I have another photo, but I'm not going to post in so I don't end up looking like a crazy cat lady hahah :lol:

 

[sharky]

Everyone has cat photos! All mine don't turn out right.....they all seem to look like an albino beached whale....

 

[Rob]

This cat features regularly in Black Metal memes. Some of them are awesome.

 

[emmalene_bunny]

HAHAHA ROB!!!! You have made my day! :lol:

 

[Rob]

LOL. Search Black Metal Cat on Google images for more.