A little old lady goes to the doctor and says: “Doctor, can you please help me. My husband’s sex drive is too high and I would like you to lower it.” Knowing the husband, the doctor replied: “Madam, he is 75 years old. At that age it pretty much all in his head”. “That’s the problem” she replied. “It would be nice if was about one metre lower occasionally.”
“Ahh! I see” said the doctor. “I have just the thing you need” he said reaching into his pill cupboard and producing a sample packet. “Place two of these Viagra tablets in his morning cup of coffee. Give it a little stir to dissolve them and let me know how you go.”
A few days later the little old lady went back to see the doctor. “So how did it go with your husband and the Viagra?” enquired the doctor enthusiastically. “An absolute disaster!” the little old lady replied. Taken aback by this, the doctor was keen to know what had gone wrong. “Did you make sure you used the Viagra tablets?” “Yes doctor.” “Did you make use of them at breakfast, like I suggested?” “Yes doctor.” “Did you take out two tablets and put both tablets into his cup of coffee?” “Yes doctor.” Did you stir his coffee so that the tablets were fully dissolved?” “Yes doctor.” “Did he drink all of his coffee?” “Yes doctor.”
The doctor was at a loss to explain why the tablets had not worked. So he asked the little old lady to tell him everything that happened. She looked at the doctor and explained how her husband had become extremely sexually aroused after his coffee, the first time in a long time. “Well that was good.” said the doctor. The little old lady then explained how her husband had completely disrobed in front of her, erect and ready. “Sounds very much on track so far” said the doctor, “and then what?” “Well, said the little old lady, “He tore off all of my clothing.” “And then?” asked the doctor. “Well then he cleared everything off the table and we made passion love right then and there on the table, like we haven’t done in twenty years”. “That’s great!” said the doctor, clearly excited at his successful solution to her problem. “That was exactly what you wanted, was it not? Why on Earth would you describe that as an absolute disaster? “Well” said the little old lady, “I shall never be able to show my face in McDonalds again!”
Blue
I'm going shopping for fake plants for my snakes and lizards and now I look like Alice Cooper!!!! (Well, no loss there, he has a great look 
