OK, convince me people...

[DiamondAsh]

Don't you start counting your chickens yet Benjamin!!

Uh-oh, she almost called you by your full name, you're a gonner mate. If you ever want the 'special cuddles' again, I'd be backing down. :lol::lol::lol:

 

[bump73]

LOL i even asked her during "special cuddles"...But was told that wasn't fair:lol::lol:

 

[Nelly]

My Mrs (Nelly) had a fear of snakes. I asked her if I could get one and she said I'd have to wait until we bought our own house... expected to be next year some time. She's such a good woman that she secretly went and got her reptile licence and bought me a snake, an enclosure and all required equipment for Christmas. Even tracked down an online forum and registered so she could research which species were best for first timers (which explains my username).

She won't handle her yet but she will soon I reckon.

Just let Ben do it... unless you're one of those partners...

 

[MrBredli]

LOL i even asked her during "special cuddles"...But was told that wasn't fair:lol::lol:

Special cuddles?? But you're not married yet!!?? :shock:

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

 

[Earthling]

If he truely loves you he should help you overcome your fear b4 he gets a snake
Having a partner is about understanding their fears, not disregarding them altogether because you don't have that fear.
Doing it even though u know your partner has a phobia is selfish...not loving.

There are two ways to look at it hey.

For sure...always two ways to look at things.
And your right if she was to say yes from the start and ask to be helped to get over this fear....is that happening....? Its more of a convince me if you can.....not a yes, but I may need some help please.

Idealy if something we fear holds back our partner, we should deal with it. Grow.
However, many people rather then deal with their problem...yes it is their problem, they make the other partner change, so they dont have to deal with their problem. Or they do the guilt trip, or the power trip, or the yes but you must do this, this, this, and this trip.

Love is about growth, facing your fears, supporting your partner. Being their for them. Not telling them what they can and cant do.

 

[moosenoose]

He didn't ask for permission, he's already got one lined up to buy... I just had a bit of a hissy fit last night!

Good for him :lol: I like him more and more hehehe

You really haven't got much to worry about. My missus still hates them but after seeing kid after kid come into the house for play-dates with my kids and handle my 6ft+ Darwin, she's been wondering what all the fuss has been about. It's now convincing her that a tiger snake is a good idea :twisted: That's going to be a bit more difficult I think :lol: :lol:

 

[scorps]

snakes are harmless let him get one, just make sure you have proper enclosure and you are responsible then i won escape and you don need o go near it

 

[Tsubakai]

Your fear is irrational as its based on your emotional imprinting, not on the truth of the situation. You are the only one who can confront that fear and choose to overcome. Plenty of people have offered to help so take up the offers and approach it with an open mind. In twelve months time you will wonder how you could ever have been so scared.

I was petrified of heights, couldn't even climb a ladder. Now I am winched in and out of helicopters up to 200 feet above ground as part of my job. After conquering that fear my life will never be the same. My opinion is that you are not truly living life to the full unless you realise that you are the one in charge of your own destiny.

And for Clairebear - glad to hear you are overcoming your cockroach fear. Maybe you could babysit my tarantulas when I go on holidays? LOL

 

[callith]

I used to be petrified of snakes. I started looking than handling my sisters snake and then after i while i began to like snakes and now I'm hooked.

 

[LennytheGecko]

Just go out tomorrow and buy one, just go........
make sure u have everything needed and just go and get one first thing tomorrow morning, then it is done and u can stop thinking and worrying about it........... ?

 

[mightymike]

get ben to handle it till it doesnt bite anymore then you can start to feel better

 

[Scyld]

tsubakai is a wise person...it isnt a matter of hearing that pythons aren't something to be afraid of, or inspiring accounts of how young children handle them...it's all about you being WILLING to overcome your fear gradually. this can't be done by believing what everyone writes about pythons being something that shouldn't be feared, but rather about you deciding that you no longer want to harbour that fear, and then convincing yourself to overcome that fear and finally by carrying it out.

starting with a hatchie is a great way to begin. trust your partner that he will be responsible in his care and security of the python and also in his consideration of how you feel about it. is suggest housing the python initially in a non-confrontational place...for example, it probably isn't the best idea to put it in your bedroom or living room where your fear is constantly staring you in the face. a side room is more important as you can compose yourself and guard yourself against your fear before confronting it.

in the end, this isn't a question of whether or not pythons are a safe thing to have in your house, its about how you respond to the idea itself. if you make something a big deal then it will become a big deal. hope this helps

 

[$NaKe PiMp]

damn it erin jane let ben get the snake and harden up a bit

lol

then let him get a taipan

 

[chloethepython]

at least you have a partener to argue wit
dont argue just enjoy each other

 

[Erin_Jane]

For sure...always two ways to look at things.
And your right if she was to say yes from the start and ask to be helped to get over this fear....is that happening....? Its more of a convince me if you can.....not a yes, but I may need some help please.

Idealy if something we fear holds back our partner, we should deal with it. Grow.
However, many people rather then deal with their problem...yes it is their problem, they make the other partner change, so they dont have to deal with their problem. Or they do the guilt trip, or the power trip, or the yes but you must do this, this, this, and this trip.

Love is about growth, facing your fears, supporting your partner. Being their for them. Not telling them what they can and cant do.

I am well aware that this is MY problem. I would never want to tell Ben what or how to do things. I am, in my oppinion, being pretty understanding of what he wants and would never dare to hold him back if it wasn't something that affected others as well. In the same way that I would only ask him to stop doing something if it affected his safety or health etc. I'm not telling him not to get a snake, I just want the opportunity to overcome my own fear before I have it shoved in my face on a daily basis.

As you say, love is about supporting your partner, that goes both ways & being there for them. This means thinking about the impact your actions have upon the person you love. I don't see how forcing the object of your partners fear into their daily lives is at all constructive to a relationship.

In saying that, I adore Ben & love him and am willing to face this fear in order for him to be happy. I just think it takes a bit of time and understanding that's all.

 

[bump73]

Just wanted to say a MASSIVE thank you to everyone who posted in this thread.

Looks like i've gotten the go ahead to get my Bredli In all reality i would have most likely gotten it anyway but having Erin say it's okay doesn't make me feel like such a bastard..

So THANK YOU THANK YOU TAHNK YOU to all

Ben

 

[gem_vegemitegirl1]

I have a 6-foot coastal and my boyfriend refuses to even sit near me when I have the snake out

He's slowly getting used to it though, he'll come and watch Yoshi moving around in his enclosure sometimes... just doesn't want to touch him yet.

 

[deebo]

my girlfriend doesnt like them and has only handled my childrens python once but i know have four at home and another 3 coming shortly. She will quite happily look in on them and what not but does not like it whne i have them out near her or watching them feed. I think as long they are secure their enclosure shoudlnt be a prob....

 

[TWENTY B]

6 months ago my then new girlfriend had never been near a snake in her life,
and my mum would almost cry if she heard the word. i didn't own any snakes then but i was interested in getting one..

now i have to be very careful about leaving my girlfriend alone in the same room as my 4 1/2 ft, 15 months old darwin carpet(darwins have a reputation of being a little bitey) becouse her and my mum won't leave the snake in her enclosure,

i get home from work and mum is sitting out the front in the sun, having a cup of tea, with the snake all over her,
my girlfriend comes over to see the snake, and not me..
she had a big issue with sleaping when the snake was going to be in my room, now i find her up in the middle of the night just to see what little belinda is getting upto..

i assure you, the fear will fade very fast.
even if you get snapped by a hatchie, it will be over before you have realised it was happening, and you could do more pain pinching yourself.

give it a chance, you might just come to find you will like having it around..

 

[the_tsar]

Come on people i really need help with this one:lol::lol:

My argument so far has been that if Nikki_Elmo has one and she's 11 surely she has nothing to be scared of....And that it would be the best way to confront what i see as an irrational fear..



Ben

Just on the irrational fear.

It is actually hardwired into our DNA to be frightened of snakes, just the shape etc. Im not sure if the same id true for spiders, these may be a taught fear. But snakes are DNA based fear, and people teach themselves to cope with this fear and it eventually seems like it has vanished. (like sky scraper builders getting over vertigo)

This fear can be managed, if the person has resonable fear management skills.
(My mum for instance has no control over her reaction to a snake at 100 feet, she is strange this way total panick and screaming, quite entertaining really)

Make comparisons to her fear of lizards that has been diminished in time, with the fear she has with snakes, and she may find that a good long stare at it from the other side of glass is just the shot needed to get over her fear. Or at least it will diminish the fear to a managable state.

My woman hated snakes too, a small snakes good to start with too, as it seems less scary, like a baby tarantula, evokes no fear really, unlike their mums.

Seems like you can cope with this fear, so get one and I think it will be the lizards all over again, come to want her own perhaps, or at least admire it from afar.