Convincing a parent who will not allow a pet snake due to fear and prejudgement?

[Jazzz]

you might be 24 but its HER house, HER rules and if you dont like them maybe its time for you to save up and move out then you can do what you want when you want

if you want to be treated like an adult then act like one

telling your mother her fears are stupid and you will bring a snake into HER home knowing she does NOT like them is the act of a spoilt brat who needs reminding who exactly pays the rent/mortgage where you live

if you were my son and turned up with a snake it and you would be out in the front yard looking for a new place to live

what a rude and disrespectful CHILD you are, showing her video's of snakes, getting her reading material is treating her like the child and your trying to bend her to YOUR rules, some of us just dont like snakes its a fact of life and we dont have to GET OVER IT, you have to accept it

i dont like snakes but i still allowed my son to have one at one stage, hell i even fed the damn thing rats but that was MY decision, like it or not your mother does not like them so stop trying to push your needs onto her

why are you posting on a reptile forum then? no need to push your opinions on others. Showing her videos and other snakes isnt treating her like a child its educating her and trying to stop her fear. At the end of the day she would know a little more useful knowledge and maybe even find a new love =] wishful thinking...

 

[feedthepanda2]

^ +1.

The amount of times I've had people tell me they're over their fear of snakes after meeting mine... I've lost count. Sometimes a little basic info and proof that I haven't yet been digested is all someone needs to realise they really aren't that bad afterall.

 

[MChaz]

No one said her fears are 'stupid' and no one said shes being 'treated like a child'.
I'm sure you're on this forum to get advice for yourself and your child about keeping reptiles, but as jazzv is right, there is no need to push opinions onto others... If you were totally against them you wouldn't let your child have one.
He is getting her reading material to help educate her about reptiles not to belittle her in any way; and even if she still doesnt allow him to get one, at least she will have a real reason as to why if she has done some reading about it.
He's just looking for some help, not to help himself but also to help others. I think he asked a very valid question and I'm sure there are plenty of people... not just CHILDREN (as you so rudely pointed out) who need advice when it comes to helping people understand reptiles.
Please act like the adult you are and not criticize him, but present your point of view in a way that no one will think you're just being a hater. He asked for HELP, not to be hated on.

Phew, /end rant.

 

[Snakeluvver2]

Jesus christ it's a freaking python.
Get over it Jeannine. It's not likes she's bringing a hooker home.

 

[saximus]

Hahaha you're a funny guy Jannico

 

[Snakeluvver2]

People over react on this site way too much.
Such a disrespectful child, that's pigsbut.
Calling your mom a ***** or stealing her money is disrespectful.
I bet most of the people on this website have brought home snakes from the wild as kids numerous times.

 

[saximus]

I would also say that running your household like a unilateral dictatorship is being a disrespectful parent. Giving birth to someone doesn't give you the right to run the house like your own little North Korea. This is especially true in situations like this where some simple education is likely all that is required to change an outdated, unfounded opinion. But hey I'm just a disrespectful kid who has a mother who was willing to allow me some say about the rules of the house. So maybe I'm not qualified to speak about such things

 

[Southern_Forest_Drag]

I would also say that running your household like a unilateral dictatorship is being a disrespectful parent. Giving birth to someone doesn't give you the right to run the house like your own little North Korea. This is especially true in situations like this where some simple education is likely all that is required to change an outdated, unfounded opinion. But hey I'm just a disrespectful kid who has a mother who was willing to allow me some say about the rules of the house. So maybe I'm not qualified to speak about such things

Not sure i could of said that better myself.

 

[Indysmum]

1) Jeannie is right a parent’s uninformed decision should be the basis for you not getting anything you ask for until you move out of home. Parents are not reasonable people and cannot be negotiated with.

2) Tell your mum that as you cannot have a snake, you are going to spend the money that you had saved on a very large snake tattoo.

Oh boy! Great advise, NOT!
I read further down that you are 24. Had to change my reply as I was geared for younger age lol
OK, 24, you are an adult, wheather it be your own mother you live with or a housemate, have landlord or whatever...if the rule is no snakes, thats final. No nagging, no amount of arguing should change this. When you have your own place, you can decide the rules. Harsh are I may sound, thats the reality of life.
Id say in this situation, any persistance to 'change her mind' will only add fuel to any family fued at home. Really not worth it is it?
Best luck.

 

[Snakeluvver2]

If the world was like that. I would be working full time, going to uni for med on the Deans scholarship, got an OP 1, wouldn't have snakes or a girlfriend, wouldn't travel, wouldn't have taken a gap year, wouldn't of changed schools, would be in the national basketball team, probably be buff and have no friends the list would go on and on.

You can argue with your parents just back it up with something other than "that's unfair" or "I hate you, you never let me do anything"

I argued for a bit, got a snake and now I have a room full of them and have a shed for my reptile dreams.
Mate all i can say is go nuts trying to convince them. Just do it smart.

 

[saximus]

Since when is reasonable discussion and education equivalent to nagging and arguing?? I am so happy that I have a mother who isn't like you two. If I wasn't allowed to have/do something it was ok for me to ask why because it led to discussion about the reasons for her decisions. This allowed me to grow up with an understanding of reasoned decision making instead of unalterable closed-mindedness. Your strict "my house, my rules" policy has more implications than you may think and, in my opinion, in the 21st century it is an outdated way to raise children

 

[dihsmaj]

If I wasn't allowed to have/do something it was ok for me to ask why because it led to discussion about the reasons for her decisions.

My mum's answer to 'why can't I have a snake?':
BECAUSE!! GO AWAY, I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT NOW!
My dad's answer to 'why can't I have a snake?':
You can have one in December when you have the money, and also, we have too many pets right now... finally, you just got an animal 2 months ago.

 

[Jazzz]

Since when is reasonable discussion and education equivalent to nagging and arguing?? I am so happy that I have a mother who isn't like you two. If I wasn't allowed to have/do something it was ok for me to ask why because it led to discussion about the reasons for her decisions. This allowed me to grow up with an understanding of reasoned decision making instead of unalterable closed-mindedness. Your strict "my house, my rules" policy has more implications than you may think and, in my opinion, in the 21st century it is an outdated way to raise children

yeah i agree. My dad would just say no until one day we finally had a discussion about it and everything he was worried about i had a good answer how to fix (id done a heap of research). With him it wasnt a fear issue though... and after more 'discussing' i now have control over the spare room of the house =D

 

[KaotikJezta]

Since when is reasonable discussion and education equivalent to nagging and arguing?? I am so happy that I have a mother who isn't like you two. If I wasn't allowed to have/do something it was ok for me to ask why because it led to discussion about the reasons for her decisions. This allowed me to grow up with an understanding of reasoned decision making instead of unalterable closed-mindedness. Your strict "my house, my rules" policy has more implications than you may think and, in my opinion, in the 21st century it is an outdated way to raise children

I had a mother like those two so I am pretty easy going with my own kids, if they can back up there reason for wanting something with facts and a good reason, I will allow it, or if they buy me chocolate and make me coffee to go with it, bribery gets you everywhere:lol:

 

[Mace699]

Hey mate good luck i had renewed my reptile licence twice when i was younger but was never allowed anything, My feelings are if they don't want you to have anything and its there house there is not alot you can do... i had to wait till i moved out you may have to do the same.

 

[Jazzz]

I had a mother like those two so I am pretty easy going with my own kids, if they can back up there reason for wanting something with facts and a good reason, I will allow it, or if they buy me chocolate and make me coffee to go with it, bribery gets you everywhere:lol:

haha thats awesome! sounds like my mum =]

although its chocolate, coffee and cleaning as well...

 

[KaotikJezta]

haha thats awesome! sounds like my mum =]

although its chocolate, coffee and cleaning as well...

I know cleaning would be pushing it, haha

 

[shellfisch]

My son was 11 when he asked for a snake.

After I picked my jaw up off the floor, he impressed me with his research and knowledge, and we went off to find one

At 15, he still impresses me with his knowledge and responsibility for his animals. We have about 25 snakes and a few Knobbies now. He has met (and introduced me to) a lot of terrific people through this hobby.

I would hate to think what we would have missed out on, if I'd had a closed mind and just said no.

 

[Jazzz]

I know cleaning would be pushing it, haha

haha yeah thats how she knows were really serious

 

[MChaz]

Jannico uses great words of wisdom. If we didn't question things and if we just took 'no' for an answer everytime, we would be back to the 1950s where kids and women had no say in ANYTHING.
We aren't in the 1950s anymore! We're ALLOWED to question things without getting a slap on the cheek... It's called learning and life experience!
It's not called nagging or being disrespectful. I think if you turn your back on your child when they're just trying to learn then THAT is disrespectful.

I think these parents that are SO close-minded need to open their eyes... where are they going to go in life?! They're going to end up a hermit with no friends and no life, because they can't accept change and accept others.

Man I need to get off this thread before a mod kicks me off for ranting on